Economist - 'Abandon "failing" cities and towns across the north of England'

chucknorris

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

Dear Chuck,

Thanks for your note.

We did briefly consider this aspect of your offer, however it was felt that as speaking English (or Gaelic) is a prerequisite for citizenship of Scotland, almost none of the footballers currently playing for these teams would be eligible.

Furthermore, actually getting through to a major tournament could jeopardise the currently booming ABE "Anyone But England" T-shirt manufacturing industry we have here in Scotland.

Lots of Love

Alec

Alec,

Don't be too hasty we believe that with a lot of hard work Rooney has almost a 25% of scraping a pass in his GCSE English exam next year.

I didn't expect to hear from you unless Poland stalled England's progress on Tuesday, could I take your early reply as a vote of confidence for England on Tuesday?

Chuck

Perelandra

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Isn't that the point? Build a wall around slough and set it on fire?

What a short-sighted, ill-conceived policy that would be!

You're as bad as Betjeman...





.... this would have the effect of destroying 100% of the UK's Mars Bar, Maltesers, Minstrels, Revels, Ripple, Galaxy and Snickers production.* Such a terrible waste.



* Twix would be okay, though. They relocated that to the continent, as a contingency against vandals like yourself!

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

chucknorris wrote: »

Alec,

Don't be too hasty we believe that with a lot of hard work Rooney has almost a 25% of scraping a pass in his GCSE English exam next year.

I didn't expect to hear from you unless Poland stalled England's progress on Tuesday, could I take your early reply as a vote of confidence for England on Tuesday?

Chuck

Dear Chuck,

Please accept sincere apologies for any misunderstanding around my earlier missive regarding footballers.

It was not my intention to disparage your native born players for struggling to come up with a coherent sentence in English, as we all know, footballers everywhere have a hard time stringing together more than one syllable so I shouldn't judge yours any more harshly than I would the others....

I must confess however that I had completely forgotten you had any native born players left!

An embarrassing mistake to make I'm afraid, but perhaps understandable, given that just 31% of minutes played in the English Premier League last year were by Englishmen.

Regarding your [STRIKE]impending doom[/STRIKE] match against Poland, I'm afraid I couldn't possibly take sides, and anyway I'll be otherwise engaged that day so probably won't be watching the match.

One of my Aberdeenshire constituents, a Mr McTavish, has invited me over for a Vodka tasting evening, accompanied by traditional Polish foods such as Pierogi and Kielbasa, and followed by a cultural celebration involving waving Polish flags and singing songs.

Quite a coincidence, I'm sure you'll agree!

Lots of Love

Alec

ILW

I went to York earlier in the week.Seemed pretty prosperous.

antrobus

ruggedtoast wrote: »

....This is what has driven Scotland to the brink of independence, yet the North has no SNP to come along and save it. Only a tranche of useless Labour politicians who can't wait to spend as little time as possible in their constituencies.

That would explain why the North-East voted 78%-22% against having their own regional assembly.:)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3984387.stm

MacMickster

antrobus wrote: »

That would explain why the North-East voted 78%-22% against having their own regional assembly.:)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3984387.stm

A regional assembly would merely add another level of government - ie more f!!!ing politicians on the gravy train being paid for by taxpayers.

I'm amazed that 22% were daft enough to vote for that - even in the North East.

boltneck123

I saw an article head line the other day on google news, or was it my c**p Daily Mail app? Anyway, the headline read something a long the lines of, retail sales up and growth increasing because of Northern shopping sprees.

Never bothered reading the article, the North isnt that bad. I holiday in Scarborough sometimes, a lovely place, always plenty of holiday makers through the whole season.

Annie_Nameless

antrobus wrote: »

That would explain why the North-East voted 78%-22% against having their own regional assembly.:)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3984387.stm

ant, truckert asked me to inquire whether you have any actual opinions etc or whether you are like the guy on testmatchspecial who just comes up with an everready unstoppable stream of statistics

michaels

Annie_Nameless wrote: »

ant, truckert asked me to inquire whether you have any actual opinions etc or whether you are like the guy on test match special who just comes up with an ever ready unstoppable stream of statistics

Yes Ant, this is not the place for relevant and illuminating statistics, unsupported opinion only here please.

Annie_Nameless

michaels wrote: »

Yes Ant, this is not the place for relevant and illuminating statistics, unsupported opinion only here please.

statistics are as unrelentingly subjective as any unsupported opinion you might hear - just listen to a politician or two (well, that's what truckert reckons, anyway)