Economist - 'Abandon "failing" cities and towns across the north of England'

chucky

Economist - 'Abandon "failing" cities and towns across the north of England

Can't we just give these cities to Scotland?

kabayiri

I don't believe this article. Those pictures are obviously fake. There are blue skies in 2 of them! It can't be oop Norff.

Also, not one drop of rain in any of the images.

I think someone has just photoshopped over a few pictures of Slough. Lazy lazy journalism

chewmylegoff

Isn't that the point? Build a wall around slough and set it on fire?

kabayiri

I'm struggling to remember these 'years of heroic effort' the article refers to.

What particular heroic stuff are we referring to?

The only brave thing I can think of in recent times is the move by the Beeb to relocate different programming functions to places like Glasgow and Manchester. Not a government thing.

onlyroz

kabayiri wrote: »

I don't believe this article. Those pictures are obviously fake. There are blue skies in 2 of them! It can't be oop Norff.

Also, not one drop of rain in any of the images.

I think someone has just photoshopped over a few pictures of Slough. Lazy lazy journalism

The top left one is definitely Hull - haven't you heard the phrase "It's never dull in 'Ull"?

ruggedtoast

Cities in the UK need to be given some autonomy and self governance. Of course they are dying, because they are governed from a seat of power that couldn't care less what happens outside London and it's commuter belt and is only interested in financial services.

This is what has driven Scotland to the brink of independence, yet the North has no SNP to come along and save it. Only a tranche of useless Labour politicians who can't wait to spend as little time as possible in their constituencies.

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

globalds wrote: »

could we give them to Scotland as part of an independence package ..?

chucky wrote: »

Can't we just give these cities to Scotland?

Dear England,

Just a quick note to say thanks for your very kind offer to transfer title over large parts of your territory, however we must respectfully decline.

In order for Scotland to consider applications from new citizens or cities, there are several key criteria that must be satisfied on economic viability, cultural development, and aesthetic beauty, and we regret to inform you that none of your population or towns in the North were able to meet these criteria.

In addition, it was felt that the bright orange skin tone and overly short tartan microskirts worn by most of your Northern female inhabitants, would adversely compete with the trademarked bright orange hair colour and knee length tartan skirts worn by most of our male inhabitants, and may well confuse the tourists.

We did briefly consider letting you transfer Blackpool to us, along with the mineral rights for shale gas underneath it, but then my colleagues reminded me that not only do we have plenty of our own, but if ours were ever to run out we also learned how to drill horizontally absolutely ages ago.

Lots of Love,

Alec Salmon

wotsthat

There have been no heroic efforts. These are failing cities because they were abandoned decades ago.

Seems unlikely that the location of a city within one of the world's smallest countries makes much difference.

chucknorris

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

Dear England,

Just a quick note to say thanks for your very kind offer to transfer title over large parts of your territory, however we must respectfully decline.

In order for Scotland to consider applications from new citizens or cities, there are several key criteria that must be satisfied on economic viability, cultural development, and aesthetic beauty, and we regret to inform you that none of your population or towns in the North were able to meet these criteria.

In addition, it was felt that the bright orange skin tone and overly short tartan microskirts worn by most of your Northern female inhabitants, would adversely compete with the trademarked bright orange hair colour and knee length tartan skirts worn by most of our male inhabitants, and may well confuse the tourists.

We did briefly consider letting you transfer Blackpool to us, along with the mineral rights for shale gas underneath it, but then my colleagues reminded me that not only do we have plenty of our own, but if ours were ever to run out we also learned how to drill horizontally absolutely ages ago.

Lots of Love,

Alec Salmon

Alec,

Think about your football team, if boosted by Northern English cities you probably still will not start winning anything, but you might start qualifying for tournament finals.

EDIT: I'm expecting a reply from Alec (Hamish) if England fail to beat Poland on Tuesday.

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

chucknorris wrote: »

Alec,

Think about your football team, if boosted by Northern English cities you probably still will not start winning anything, but you might start qualifying for tournament finals.

Dear Chuck,

Thanks for your note.

We did briefly consider this aspect of your offer, however it was felt that as speaking English (or Gaelic) is a prerequisite for citizenship of Scotland, almost none of the footballers currently playing for these teams would be eligible.

Furthermore, actually getting through to a major tournament could jeopardise the currently booming ABE "Anyone But England" T-shirt manufacturing industry we have here in Scotland.

Lots of Love

Alec