Advice please for 16 year old left education

lilaclainey

susiewuzy wrote: »

Hello,

My daughter has had a very difficult time at school, she didn't get the GCSE results she had hoped for in August, and therefore her school wouldn't accept her on to A levels. She was given other options as well as studying English again, to try to better her grade, but she refused and said she would go to college instead.

She decided on a level two ICT course and was going to study GCSE English alongside this, but due to lack of effort etc.... she was removed from this course and put onto a level one vocational course instead. This was supposed to start last Tuesday, but by Thursday she hadn't even turned up, and she was withdrawn from this course on Friday.

She doesn't know what to do, I don't know what to do, college is probably a no go now, even if she could think of something she was actually interested in. And her grades aren't that good.

She has no motivation to do anything, it seems. Although she has mentioned she might like an apprenticeship...

I have trawled the internet and connexions keeps coming up, but I don't think this exists in our area anymore. I have found an organisation called 4YP, locally, and have contacted them and they have said I can take her there tomorrow, which I will, and my daughter has agreed.

Am I doing all I can do? Does anyone know if this 4YP is the right step?

Also, it's not of major importance, we get no tax credits etc.. just child benefit. Do I need to ring them and cancel this now?

Thank you.

I am also in the same boat once again.My son is registered with Connexions and North Lancs Training.Connexions gave us a letter to post to Child Benefit,but Tax Credits stopped last week.I rang them and they said his entitlement had run out.
How are us parents who are on sick and barely surviving as it is expected to pay for our children on our benefits???
I still haven't been able to afford to pay an council tax yet and now im expected to pay bedroom tax.I cant win.
We are already going hungry and constantly running out of gas and electric(we are on metres)
I've got to the stage where I just don't want to be here any-more ;(

sax11

I have no sympathy with people who complain about bedroom tax and have kids that don't get off their !!!!!! and expect others to pay for them

Maybe the onus of being on sick and relying on benefits is rubbing off on the kids as the norm..

In reference to the OP , removed from a course from lack of effort?

casparg44

I too was also just like your daughter at 16 and completely agree with citricsquid. I highly recommend apprenticeship or traineeship for your daughter. I have worked with and employed apprenticeships just like her too, girls and boys who have had a hard time at school and didn't know what they wanted to do.
On an apprenticeship, your daughter would work for an employer full time and have a normal contract of employment with the same rights- sick pay and 20 days holiday etc. The employer doesn't pay for the training and neither do you as she is 16 and technically NEET (not in employment, education or Training). Therefore she is a priority.
The employer pays your daughter £150 approx per week and she learners on the job skills as well as completes either a level 2, 3 or 4 apprenticeship. There are loads of subjects available but it depends on what job she does.
Traineeships prepare the young person for work and the apprenticeship like a pre-apprenticeship if you like. They are not paid but it is a intensive work experience, study and employment soft skills course which can open doors into apprenticeships and or work.
Once she has completed the apprenticeship she has the opportunity to stay on at the place of work or she might decide to go to Uni. A level 3 is equivalent to A levels.
The best way to find an employer, apprenticeship provider or traineeship willing to take her on is through a website such as NotGoingToUni This company have lots of vacancies and a huge network of employers as well as loads of advice. This is a private company but they dont charge you at all. I have used them bnefore and they have a brilliant reputation.
Good luck

whodathunkit

lilaclainey wrote: »

I am also in the same boat once again.My son is registered with Connexions and North Lancs Training.Connexions gave us a letter to post to Child Benefit,but Tax Credits stopped last week.I rang them and they said his entitlement had run out.
How are us parents who are on sick and barely surviving as it is expected to pay for our children on our benefits???
I still haven't been able to afford to pay an council tax yet and now im expected to pay bedroom tax.I cant win.
We are already going hungry and constantly running out of gas and electric(we are on metres)
I've got to the stage where I just don't want to be here any-more ;(

You need to make your son realise the problems his decisions have brought to the family so that he can shoulder the responsibility and make better decisions. It isn't the state's responsibility to support young people who have chosen to drop out of the system.

susiewuzy

lilaclainey wrote: »

I am also in the same boat once again.My son is registered with Connexions and North Lancs Training.Connexions gave us a letter to post to Child Benefit,but Tax Credits stopped last week.I rang them and they said his entitlement had run out.
How are us parents who are on sick and barely surviving as it is expected to pay for our children on our benefits???
I still haven't been able to afford to pay an council tax yet and now im expected to pay bedroom tax.I cant win.
We are already going hungry and constantly running out of gas and electric(we are on metres)
I've got to the stage where I just don't want to be here any-more ;(

You will be given a four month extension of child benefit. They will take it from the date your son left full time education or training. I filled out the form online via the child benefit website. Our extension is coming to an end next month.
Sorry, I don't know anything about bedroom tax. Maybe ask at Citizens advice.
Easier said than done I know, but your son really needs to be told the situation you are in! Show him in black and white the bills you are struggling to pay!
Also get him to register online at the apprenticeships.org website.

Witchfinder_General

citricsquid wrote: »

Your daughter is only 16 years old, she's not old enough to drive a car let alone expected to support herself, so pushing her into the real world is not the best idea

Hmmmm. I joined the Royal Navy 2 days after my 16th Birthday and have supported myself ever since - going in to my 36th year of continous employment.

Tell you what though, why don't you blame someone else for the daughters attitude. That's what everyone else seems to do.

I honestly wish I had a say in where my taxes were spent.

DKLS

citricsquid wrote: »

Talk to her, support her, encourage her to try new things. Sure, if she gets to 20 and is still floundering around then maybe it's time to take things more seriously, but 16... give her room to breathe and learn, let her learn that it's okay to fail.

Whilst I agree with the sentiment of learning its okay to fail, am not sure that the OP will appreciate having to support them for another 4 years whilst they find their way.


I would advocate a combination of support and tough love, the 16yr old needs to come to terms that they have to start making decisions, the cushy world of school has gone.

fufu_banterwaite

lilaclainey wrote: »

I still haven't been able to afford to pay an council tax yet and now im expected to pay bedroom tax.I cant win.
;(

You don’t pay bedroom tax, it is deducted from your benefits[FONT=&quot].[/FONT]

susiewuzy

DKLS wrote: »

Whilst I agree with the sentiment of learning its okay to fail, am not sure that the OP will appreciate having to support them for another 4 years whilst they find their way.


I would advocate a combination of support and tough love, the 16yr old needs to come to terms that they have to start making decisions, the cushy world of school has gone.

This is what we have been trying to do. Since my original post back in October, it feels like we are on a constant uphill struggle.


My daughter finally managed to get herself an apprenticeship and started at the beginning of December. Within three days she had been sacked (apparently she took a silly argument with her friend into work) I was so annoyed and upset with her, as it was a really good opportunity, and it seemed to be what she wanted.


She then decided she didn't want an apprenticeship anymore and wanted to go back to full time education, as now she can see it's the easy option; but all the full time college courses all started back in September, so she can't not until at least September this year.


I still refuse to give her any spending money and I will not top up her phone. I managed to get her two days work experience with me at work, (I know it's not what she wants to do, but she could have earned some money, and got herself a reference from my boss - and it was only two days) but she was too tired to go in the on the second day :wall:


As the full time education doesn't seem to be a possibility at the moment, and she has in the past expressed an interest in accountancy, I have pushed her into enrolling in an evening class at the local college. It's three hours a week, for twelve weeks. She has had two lessons so far, and at least it's keeping her brain active. I've told her if she expects us to support her going back to school in September that she needs to show some effort!


She has also managed to get work experience this week at a local crèche. It's only 9.30-12 but if she gets on well they may offer her a job at the end of it, and if not, it's still experience.


This has all been so hard. I truly sympathise with anyone else in the same situation. I do wonder where I have gone wrong.

GothicStirling

If she's serious about going into education, then she really needs to be looking at the prospectus' now and making applications for September. To be brutally honest, I would make her an ultimatum: either she has a job or in college by September, or she has to go looking for a place of her own, that you won't stand for it, and she needs to stand on her own two feet.

You mention accountancy, but that will mean university. She was lucky to get that apprenticeship without English GCSE, every one I've seen has it as a pre-requisite. As for someone mentioning Alan Sugar, that was back in the days when you could leave school in the morning and find a job by 5pm. These days you need Maths and English just to work in a shop.