Sudden onset of anxiety - any advice

Carrotline

Apologies if I'm posting in the wrong place, but I did a general search through the forum and a lot of similar posts seem to be in this section.

I'm looking for advice, but most of all I just need to write down how I'm feeling to try and offload some of the tension and stress I'm feeling at the moment.

The source of it, I reckon, is the fact I'm moving out of my parents house in just over a month's time with my boyfriend of seven years after saving up for our first home together.

This should be a really positive, happy and exciting time for us, and it largely is. However, I just can't stop worrying about everything, to the point that I keep finding myself utterly overwhelmed with anxiety.

Even though we’ve worked out how much everything is going to cost, once we start living together, and how we’re going to divide up the cost, I’m always worrying about how we’re going to pay for everything.

There’s so much stuff to organise, too, especially where the move is concerned and all anyone around me seems to enjoy doing at the moment is reminding me of how much stuff we have to do before we can move in.

I just don’t seem to get any respite from moving talk at the moment, and it seems to be stressing me out even more.

I’m also going to be moving about an hour away (not a great distance, I know) from where my parents and sister live, and I keep feeling really stressed when I think about that too.

I knew this would be the case, and we were both keen to move out of the area where my family live, as the area's getting progressively rough and my parents and sisters are all planning to move out in a couple of years too.

I’m fairly sure this is why, over the past week or so, I keep getting struck with a feeling of lightheadedness/dizziness that feels so bad I’m convinced I’m going to faint. My heart starts pounding and I can’t think straight.

I don’t think anyone’s noticed at work, because I just try to focus on a single point on my computer screen until it passes. So, to all intents and purposes, I look like I’m just staring intently at my screen.

My legs something feel like they’ve gone to jelly as well. And, although I worry (with the dizziness) that if I stand up I’ll faint in front of everyone, when this kicks in I usually hot foot it to the toilet so I can lock myself in a cubicle and take a few deep breaths.

I also neck a bit of Rescue Remedy, which I bought earlier this week to try and alleviate some of my symptoms, for good measure too.

The sensation soon passes, and - as long as I’ve got a good piece of immersive work to concentrate on - I can usually stave off another episode like the above occurring.

Has anyone got any advice about how I can stop feeling like this, as I’m worried these feelings won’t stop happening until our completion date (at the earliest) and might start interfering with my work. To a small extent it already has, I keep finding myself shying away from client meetings, as I’m worried I might have an episode like this during one.

Help!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

To be honest, it is exciting but all you have to actually do - is to pick the keys up and take the meter readings. The rest is pretty academic.

You are risking the enjoyment with the panicking. In 10 years you will wonder why you are getting so het up with it all.

Relax, calm down, stop coffee and tea drinking and go for lemony hot water for a bit until it's all sorted. Then run a hot bath for yourself. Everything else can wait.

meritaten

Anxiety can get out of control very quickly - your concerns are basically real ones, but right now you are blowing them up out of proportion and you recognise that. I think you also recognise you are starting to 'obsess'?
can you get 'you time' where you can just forget about everything for a few hours?
can you get away for a break of a day or two? it will help put things back into proportion for you.
I've done this myself - I think most people have, and you are sensible enough to ask advice.
so here is mine
get away for a while!
if you cant do that
then rent some movies that completely remove you from everyday life and make you laugh (or cry if that's your thing). have a duvet day! Go take a dog for a long walk! do ANYTHING that stops you thinking of current move.

Be positive! its going to work out! Yes it IS!

applecrumble24

Look up cogniitive behavioural therapy, a lot of the techniques are really helpful wth anxiety

Carrotline

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

To be honest, it is exciting but all you have to actually do - is to pick the keys up and take the meter readings. The rest is pretty academic.

To be honest, that's the only bit that's not stressing me out! It's everything else: money, organising the move and adjusting to life in a brand new town.

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Relax, calm down, stop coffee and tea drinking and go for lemony hot water for a bit until it's all sorted. Then run a hot bath for yourself. Everything else can wait.

I've stopped drinking caffeine this week and sworn off alcohol too, as I'm already feeling unsteady on my feet most of the time. Don't think wine will improve matters much...

meritaten

Alternatively - go see your GP. there are medications which can help (I am not a big fan of these - but, if GP thinks they are suitable I wouldn't argue).
Emma is right - anxiety can build until its out of control - you have a chance here to 'nip it in the bud' as she says.

Wellyboots6

http://www.llttf.com/

Errata

It's normal to feel apprehensive and get into a bit of a flapdoodle. Make a list of all your concerns and the solution to each one; that should make everything feel more manageable and you'll be able to manage your emotions more effectively.
If you want respite from the moving talk, refuse to talk about it until you feel relaxed and comfy enough to do so. Share your concerns with your boyfriend, living together, buying a house together, is all about sharing so both of you need to start getting used to it.

Carrotline

Errata wrote: »

It's normal to feel apprehensive and get into a bit of a flapdoodle. Make a list of all your concerns and the solution to each one; that should make everything feel more manageable and you'll be able to manage your emotions more effectively.

That sounds like a good idea. I got quite upset writing my original post, but I feel better now for writing it all down, so I think a good, practical list could help.

Errata wrote: »

If you want respite from the moving talk, refuse to talk about it until you feel relaxed and comfy enough to do so.

Good idea. There's so much of it about at the moment, as my brother's just exchanged contracts on a house he's selling and completing on the same day as us!

Errata wrote: »

Share your concerns with your boyfriend, living together, buying a house together, is all about sharing so both of you need to start getting used to it.

I've talked to him about it a bit, and he is supportive.But I haven't gone into much detail about my "funny turns".

Errata

Your 'funny turns' are probably nothing more than you getting worked up resulting in an increase in adrenaln flowing round your body making it ready for 'fight or flight'. As you can do neither, it just makes you feel funny. Take some deep breaths and consciously relax or if you can - go to the loo and take some deep breaths in and out of a paper bag which should calm things down.

Yorkie1

(This is not medical advice)

The symptoms are classic anxiety, from hyperventilating: breathing too shallowly and too fast, which is what you do when anxious.

As Errata says, adrenalin is also released in the fight or flight response to anything stressful.

Rushing to the toilet is possibly going to be counter-productive in the longer term as you may find that you think you can't cope without doing this - and it won't always be possible to get out to the loo.

The techniques of slowing your breathing right down are useful - put one hand on your lower stomach and aim to breathe to there so that the abdomen inflates, not high up so that the chest inflates. Breathe in to a slow count, then breathe out with your mouth slightly open to an even slower count.

Try to find a calming phrase that works for you (as opposed to one which chivvies or scolds you for being in this situation). If you can spot the thoughts going through your head, you may well find that they are repetitive and you can find a gentle challenge to them.

Also try stretching or other ways of muscle relaxation - you'll possibly find that you're impossibly tense. Perhaps a hot water bottle too.

The GP may well be able to provide you with something to help in the short term. Definitely avoid stimulants such as caffeine and alcohol, as you've doing now.

I also read somewhere that practising controlled worrying helped some people - allow it for x minutes per day.