Where to start?

MW3

Thank you again - I am doing a better SOA at the moment and hopefully will be able to post it tomorrow when I have my partner's figures.

Unfortunately he's not the father of my children Tixy, and I don't get any money from my ex at all. I did get some when we initially split, but that was only because we ran a business together and I was responsible for paying him so I took my cut before transferring the rest of his wages to him. He got the business in the divorce settlement and I got the house, but he shut the business down pretty much as soon as I resigned and passed all the paperwork to him, and claims he doesn't have any money so I havent received anything for a couple of years - also a contributory factor to my overdraft problem

Also, I did think about giving up my car but me and my children have brittle bones, which, while only a mild form of the condition, still means lots of trips to A&E. Unfortunately because its only a mild form and none of us need any day to day assistance we don't qualify for DLA (or whatever they're calling it now!)

LannieDuck

It would be worth going through the CSA anyway - they can take a nominal amount out of his benefits. Not much, but something at least.

MW3

I'm not even sure how to do that LannieDuck as to the best of my knowledge he doesn't get any benefits either as he never paid the girl who used to do our business payroll for us so she wouldn't issue him a P60. He is thoroughly un-contactable as he lives on a boat so has no postal address and I have no phone number for him as he didn't give me his new number when he got a new mobile so the only real contact method I have is an email address.

I have done a spreadsheet listing mine and my partner's total income and outgoings, and we apparently have £710.67 left for groceries and petrol after all of our joint and personal DD's have gone out.

So we need to work out a reasonable budget for feeding a family of 5 (+ 2 cats), plus a way to clear my overdraft.

Tixy

As dancingfairy suggests a really detailed spending diary will help you work out exactly where you money is going each month. Either a notebook or a spreadsheet where you record everything that you are spending each month, right down to 50p on a bar of chocolate or £1 on a newspaper or lottery ticket etc.

Also I wouldn't just look at what DDs are going out, you really need to budget for all the other spending as its not just groceries & petrol you need to buy out of that remainder. Otherwise people often end up using a credit card for something that they forgot to budget for.

In terms of grocery shopping - maybe have a look at the downshift challenge. There are people on here who manage that size family on around £250, but maybe you need to see how much you actually spend first before you work out if you may be able to make savings. Can OH tell from receipts/bank statements what you spent last month?

I would still contact your local csa office for some advice and to see if you can start a claim based on the information you do know. It may be that he is claiming some benefits, a lack of a P60 or P45 won't prevent that longer term, or he could have started working again.

Good luck

MW3

Thanks Tixy. Where do I find the stuff about the downshift challenge?

I will try the CSA and also look into getting a basic bank account to shift all our DD's to stop my own account getting into a bigger mess and start whittling the overdraft down.

Tixy

Sorry forgot to add a link see here - http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/downshift-challenge/

and also this might be handy for ideas - October 2013 Grocery Challenge

LannieDuck

He must have some income, even if he lives on a boat. As Tixy says, give the CSA a call and see what they say. Otherwise you could try posting on the CSA board here and see if anyone could help suggest where to start.

Tixy

I don't think a family with a heriditary condition sounds implauisble.
Families of 5 with a couple of pets is very common in the UK and people living on boats are not exactly unheard of either.

MW3

Thanks Tixy. I am aware that on paper my life reads like a dire made-for-tv movie but I am honestly not creative enough to be able to make this stuff up. It is what it is.

glasgowsaver2011

Tixy wrote: »

I don't think a family with a heriditary condition sounds implauisble.
Families of 5 with a couple of pets is very common in the UK and people living on boats are not exactly unheard of either.

Fair enough, but a family of 7 living on 1200 a month?

An ex, she seems unwilling to allow the csa to chase up....