Mother in law problem

merlin68

She was in hospital for falling down the stairs and breaking her pelvis.
As she decided a few years back to take the banister out.

amus

merlin68 wrote: »

She was in hospital for falling down the stairs and breaking her pelvis.
As she decided a few years back to take the banister out.

Did her behaviour seem to change following this incident?


DH grandmother got (I think it's called) vascular dementia due to her brain being starved of oxygen during surgery (think she was in her 70's). Her behaviour was very similar to that which you describe, accusing people of stealing, hiding valuables in the microwave, accusing FIL of never helping when he was there almost every day.


Definitely sounds like she needs some sort of intervention.

pelirocco

You must remember your MIL will have no idea anything is wrong with her actions or thinking , and will be very frightened at what she sees as people attacking her , hard as it might be try not to confront her , its very upsetting for them.

My MIL had vascular dementia , it went through several stages some of them very upsetting for us , and some very upsetting for her too

Acc72

merlin68 wrote: »

I obviously let rip as it is not acceptable behaviour.

Your MIL clearly needs a lot of support and help.

Unfortunately, I don't think that your approach is the most constructive way.

If she is suffering from a mental illness (as has been suggested) then resorting to a "who can shout the loudest" competition will not help.

System

Sounds a bit like my Mom. She got a bit neurotic when she found out I was chucking her mouldy food out. For goodness sake she'd had bowel cancer and I was trying to protect her.... She didn't see it that way. She'd cut the mould off tomatoes and other salads and meat would grow a fur coat before she would even think of chucking it away.

My brother deals with it now. Well he doesn't really, he just leaves her to get on with it.

poorly_scammo

Have a look at the Alzheimer's Society website: http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/

It has lots of information on types of dementia, care and provides links to local information. From what you've posted, it sounds as if she's suffering from dementia or something similar and definitely needs some form of help voluntary or involuntary.

Lucy_Lastic

That Alzheimer's website is very good and there is a Forum on there that may help.

My Mother has dementia and it started pretty much as you describe your MIL.

It can start at any age. She needs help and understanding, not confrontation. Residential care may be needed, but it can be a long road to get there as she may not co-operate. The idea these days is to keep people in their own homes for as long as possible, with carers going in. This did not work with my Mother, she would not have anyone but me in her home. I had to have her sectioned in order to get the help she needed.

Your MILs children really need to pull together to help her.