Administrative application - need some proofreading please

top_drawer_2

Hello

I'm very keen to find another job and have just come across a role I think would be amazing for me but it closes tomorrow. It is with an agency so I may be daft even trying for it, I've written a letter outlining how I meet the criteria as my CV does not really reflect my experience or how I can meet the role requirements.

This is what I have:

Dear Named person.

Please accept my application for the position of Administrator as advertised on the Job Centre Plus website. As requested I have attached a copy of my CV for you to view.

I am an extremely hardworking and organised individual with a keen eye for detail and prior experience of working in an office environment. In previous roles I showed initiative and organisational skill through a time when my employer was relocating premises and going through a period of change.

In demonstrating clearly and succinctly how I meet your requirements

Supporting the department wherever necessary
In my current role as a Support Worker and previously as a Administrator I am accustomed to using my initiative in finding useful tasks to undertake, flexible in my approach and willing to take on feedback from colleagues.

Managing staff requests from other departments
In my role at Lucite I often received requests for information and as a result found that I am a quick learner who will seek out information directly from from source as well as being willing to ask questions when necessary. I have excellent communication skills to find out what is the information required and provide it in the most efficient manner possible.

Organising travel and accommodation
I have travelled widely throughout the UK and Europe and am accustomed to booking my own travel arrangements using the various rail, air and accommodation provider websites. In doing this I am careful to elicit requirements from the relevant person whilst also adhering to company policy in terms of class standard and room sharing.

Answering incoming calls from the Reception in a professional manner and taking messages
In my role at Lucite I was positively complimented on my professional manner in which I handle incoming calls. I am accustomed to using a switchboard and taking messages as required.

Meeting and greeting visitors
I maintain a high level of personal dress at all times and ensure that I greet people in a professional and courteous manner.

Attending meetings and taking minutes as required
In my current role as a Support Worker I took on the responsibility of taking minutes at the monthly staff meetings to ensure that those unable to attend could be kept informed. I also undertook a professional minute taking course and have continued to further my standard of presentation in this area.

Liaising with external agencies and suppliers

?? - excellent communication skills / able to deal with complaints efficiently / excellent team player

Processing purchase orders and invoice reconciliation
??

Setting up and maintaining electronic and manual filing systems
??


Updating the in-house database
I am familiar in the usage of a database system ??

Diary management for the department
??

Ordering stationery
I have previously held this responsibility and was careful to keep an eye on stock levels and maintain the stock cupboard.


Liaising with building management
??

Postal duties
At Lucite postal duties for the Finance department were my responsibility and as a result I am familiar with the processing of outgoing mail and usage of a franking machine in a efficient manner. I am also accustomed to managing incoming mail and using a pigeon hole system.

Responsible for Health & safety checks

I am a responsible, mature individual and would undertake this duty with a great deal of care using communication skill to ensure that people not adhering were clearly explained why it is in their best interests to do so.

Working along side company policies and procedures
I am careful to familiarise myself fully with any company policies and procedures ensuring that I adhere to them fully.

As stated in your advert I feel that I have a strong administrative background and can commit fully for the period of time required and for the hours stated. I also hold a BSc Psychology (Hons) degree as well as a European Computer Driving Licence qualification where I achieved over 90% in all modules including MS Word, Excel and Outlook applications.

Many thanks for your time and I look forward to hearing from you shortly.

double_mummy

Dear Named person.

I am writing in application for the position of Administrator as advertised on the Job Centre Plus website. As requested I have attached a copy of my CV for you to view.

I am an extremely hardworking and organised individual with a keen eye for detail and prior experience of working in an office environment. In previous roles I have showed initiative and organisational skills through a time when my employer was relocating premises and going through a period of change.

In demonstrating clearly and succinctly how I meet your requirements

Supporting the department wherever necessary
In my current role as a Support Worker and previously as a Administrator I am accustomed to using my initiative in finding useful tasks to undertake, flexible in my approach and willing to take on feedback from colleagues.

Managing staff requests from other departments
In my role at Lucite I often received requests for information and as a result found that I am a quick learner who will seek out information directly from from source as well as being willing to ask questions when necessary. I have excellent communication skills to find out what is the information required and provide it in the most efficient manner possible.

Organising travel and accommodation
I have traveled widely throughout the UK and Europe and am accustomed to booking my own travel arrangements using the various rail, air and accommodation provider websites. In doing this I am careful to elicit requirements from the relevant person whilst also adhering to company policy in terms of class standard and room sharing.

Answering incoming calls from the Reception in a professional manner and taking messages
In my role at Lucite I was positively complimented on my professional manner in which I handle incoming calls. I am accustomed to using a switchboard and taking messages as required.

Meeting and greeting visitors
I maintain a high level of personal presentation at all times and ensure that I greet people in a professional and courteous manner.

Attending meetings and taking minutes as required
In my current role as a Support Worker I took on the responsibility of taking minutes at the monthly staff meetings to ensure that those unable to attend could be kept informed. I also undertook a professional minute taking course and have continued to further my standard of presentation in this area.

Liaising with external agencies and suppliers

I have experience of liaising with external agencies within my current role. I have contacted these agencies and suppliers via telephone and email. I have s team player mentality and find that the team is not only the people I work directly with but the team includes all outside agencies and suppliers that I come into contact with.

Processing purchase orders and invoice reconciliation
DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE IN THIS AREA IS THERE A COURSE YOU CAN GO ON TO SAY YOU ARE MAKING AN EFFORT IN THIS AREA?

Setting up and maintaining electronic and manual filing systems
DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE?

Updating the in-house database
I am familiar in the usage of a database system WHICH SYSTEM? I am eager to learn the usage of new databases and will endeavor to ensure that I understand the system that is used within the company and that I can use the package to its full potential.

Diary management for the department
I have experience with personal diary management and also for that of others. I have used the (google diary) system of team diary keeping.

Ordering stationery
I have previously held this responsibility and was careful to keep an eye on stock levels and maintain the stock cupboard.

Liaising with building management
I feel that building management is an extension of the team that I work within and I am happy to discuss issues with them both in person via telephone and via email.

Postal duties
At Lucite postal duties for the Finance department were my responsibility and as a result I am familiar with the processing of outgoing mail and usage of a franking machine in a efficient manner. I am also accustomed to managing incoming mail and using a pigeon hole system.

Responsible for Health & safety checks
I am a responsible, mature individual and would undertake this duty with a great deal of care using communication skill to ensure that people not adhering were clearly explained why it is in their best interests to do so.

Working along side company policies and procedures
I am careful to familiarise myself fully with any company policies and procedures ensuring that I adhere to them fully. I am also happy to ask questions of management when I am unsure of anything within the policies and procedures so that I can ensure that I am completing them to the desired standards of the company.

As stated in your advert I feel that I have a strong administrative background and can commit fully for the period of time required and for the hours stated. I also hold a BSc Psychology (Hons) degree as well as a European Computer Driving Licence qualification where I achieved over 90% in all modules including MS Word, Excel and Outlook applications.

Thank you for your consideration and I eagerly await your response.

Coraline

I hate to be a bummer but this letter won't work, probably won't even get read past 10 seconds of looking at it (I just went through another 100 CVs & cover letters last week at work, trust me on this!)

Practically all of the information listed should go into your CV as the purpose of a cover letter is to complement & support your CV.

I'm not sure where to start with this because you have to start from scratch. Here are several articles that have quite useful tips:

http://www.careerealism.com/cover-letter-opens-doors/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2013/05/09/5-ways-your-cover-letter-lost-you-the-job/

And lastly, format tips copied & pasted from: http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/cv/coveringletters.htm

Suggested structure for your covering letter:


First Paragraph

• State the job you’re applying for.
• Where you found out about it (advert in The Guardian newspaper etc. - organisations like to know which of their advertising sources are being successful)
• When you're available to start work (and end if it's a placement)

Second Paragraph

• Why you're interested in that type of work
• Why the company attracts you (if it's a small company say you prefer to work for a small friendly organisation!)

Third Paragraph

• Summarise your strengths and how they might be an advantage to the organisation.
• Relate your skills to the competencies required in the job.

Last Paragraph

• Thank the employer and say you look forward to hearing from them soon.

If you start with a name (e.g. "Dear Mr Bloggs") you should end with "Yours sincerely". If you start with "Dear Sir or Madam" you should end with "Yours faithfully".

Good luck, if you re-write with these tips in mind it'll be much more effective I guarantee you!

top_drawer_2

I've rehashed it and would appreciate any advice. I would also appreciate any advice on where someone can go for support in getting these things right.


Please accept my application for the position of Administrator as advertised on the Job Centre Plus website. I am available to start work with a weeks notice.

I am an extremely hardworking and organised individual with a keen eye for detail and prior experience of working in an office environment. My previous office experience I showed initiative and negotiation skills through a time when my employer was going through a period of change.

I enjoy working in a fast paced environment in the role of supporting others to achieve. Your advert attracted my attention as the role described is varied and challenging.

My core strengths lie in being a quick learner and having a high level of communication skill as well as a strong administrative experience in a finance department. I also have experience as a receptionist where in addition to operating a switchboard I was responsible for a postal duties, updating a internal database of customer details and ordering stationary. I am accustomed to taking minutes at meetings and hold a certificate to support this assertion. Furthermore I also hold a European Computer Driving licence qualification in which I successfully achieved 90% in all modules including those relating to MS Word, Excel and Outlook.

I have an excellent presentation manner both in using the telephone and in-person and am accustomed to dealing with both customers and suppliers. I am also accustomed to planning and co-ordinating a variety of arrangements such as travel, accommodation or an event.

As required by your advert I feel that I can offer a strong administrative background and can commit fully for the period of time required. I also hold a BSc Psychology (Hons) degree as well as a European Computer Driving Licence qualification where I achieved over 90% in all modules including MS Word, Excel and Outlook applications.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

jobbingmusician

Some grammatical improvements. The most important changes are that I know how to spell stationery , and I have deleted the duplicated reference to the ECDL.

Please accept my application for the position of Administrator as advertised on the Job Centre Plus website. I am available to start work with a week's notice.

I am an extremely hardworking and organised individual with a keen eye for detail and prior experience of working in an office environment. In my previous office experience I showed initiative and negotiation skills through a time when my employer was going through a period of change.

I enjoy working in a fast paced environment in the role of supporting others to achieve. Your advert attracted my attention as the role described is varied and challenging.

My core strengths lie in being a quick learner and having a high level of communication skill as well as strong administrative experience in a finance department. I also have experience as a receptionist where in addition to operating a switchboard I was responsible for postal duties, updating a internal database of customer details and ordering stationery. I am accustomed to taking minutes at meetings and hold a certificate to support this assertion. Furthermore I also hold a European Computer Driving licence qualification in which I successfully achieved 90% in all modules including those relating to MS Word, Excel and Outlook.

I have an excellent presentation manner both in using the telephone and in person and am accustomed to dealing with both customers and suppliers. I am also accustomed to planning and co-ordinating a variety of arrangements including travel, accommodation and events.

As required by your advert I feel that I can offer a strong administrative background and can commit fully for the period of time required. I also hold a BSc Psychology (Hons) degree as well as the European Computer Driving Licence qualification detailed above.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

top_drawer_2

Just been trying to get an appointment at the colleage I recently did a course at, and its utterly impossible ;(

Errata

I've written a letter outlining how I meet the criteria as my CV does not really reflect my experience or how I can meet the role requirements.

Why not? Tailor your CV to the position you're applying for.

top_drawer_2

Because looking at it, they would see I've gained the experience through various low level admin positions working for agencies + courses I've done on my own back. You would think (logically) that they would admire my motivation + tenacity but that is not my experience. I find that they want someone who has been in EXACTLY the same type of job before. I doubt I'll get anything back from this but I have to start somewhere....

orangeslimes

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Some grammatical improvements. The most important changes are that I know how to spell stationery , and I have deleted the duplicated reference to the ECDL.

Please accept my application for the position of Administrator as advertised on the Job Centre Plus website. I am available to start work with a week's notice.

I am an extremely hardworking and organised individual with a keen eye for detail and prior experience of working in an office environment. In my previous office experience I showed initiative and negotiation skills through a time when my employer was going through a period of change.

Personally this just makes me glaze over...everyone says they are hardworking and organised in a cv.
I think it is better to be more specific. e.g. I am an experienced administrator having worked at X and Y.
I showed initiative and negotiation skills by doing X at my job at Y when it was restructuring.

I enjoy working in a fast paced environment in the role of supporting others to achieve.

waffle

Your advert attracted my attention as the role described is varied and challenging.

Is there any other reason you particularly want this job, or want to work for this company? This isn't much of one.

My core strengths lie in being a quick learner and having a high level of communication skill

Can you prove it?

as well as strong administrative experience in a finance department. also have experience as a receptionist where in addition to operating a switchboard I was responsible for postal duties, updating a internal database of customer details and ordering stationery. I am accustomed to taking minutes at meetings and hold a certificate to support this assertion. Furthermore I also hold a European Computer Driving licence qualification in which I successfully achieved 90% in all modules including those relating to MS Word, Excel and Outlook.

I have an excellent presentation manner both in using the telephone and in person and am accustomed to dealing with both customers and suppliers. I am also accustomed to planning and co-ordinating a variety of arrangements including travel, accommodation and events.

This reads like a list - you need to make it more succinct and engaging. A lot of the information you give here should be on your CV - the covering letter should complement this by highlighting the most important bits. Also you use the word 'accustomed' too much.

As required by your advert I feel that I can offer a strong administrative background and can commit fully for the period of time required.

waffle.

I also hold a BSc Psychology (Hons) degree as well as the European Computer Driving Licence qualification detailed above.

Won't this be obvious from your CV- and you have still mentioned it twice (and I am not sure ECDL is really that big a deal) and who cares if you have a psychology degree?

I would look at the outline in Coraline's post again.

Second Paragraph

Why you're interested in that type of work
Why the company attracts you (if it's a small company say you prefer to work for a small friendly organisation!)

- you haven't done this

Third Paragraph

Summarise your strengths and how they might be an advantage to the organisation.
Relate your skills to the competencies required in the job.

- you need to be more focused and more specific. Only include the most important points, and try not to be vague.

Hope some of this helps. It sounds to me as if you might well be well qualified for the job - you just aren't presenting yourself in the best way. (Edit to add: if you have limited time I don't think it is actually terrible - just try and be more specific)

Dovah_diva

In addition to the excellent advice above, you need to give examples of how you have met the criteria. It is not enough to say you have - you have to demonstrate it.