Having a lodger

Brallaqueen

I have had a lodger in the past - no matter how nice you are or how nice she is, misunderstandings can arise. Get everything in writing so that there is much less chance of it happening.
Who buys toilet roll/washing up liq? Can she have visitors or overnight stayers? If yes, how many a week? Make sure you have an emergency clause (if it suddenly kicks off, or if she/her guest has sticky fingers) so that you can get her out in 24 hours.
You'd be surprised how people seem really nice until you live with them and you just don't get along / they leave all the lights on all the time/ they are filthy beasts

Brallaqueen

steffiraf wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your advice. She's quite a shy person so i'm not really worried about her bringing all and sundry home and from what i know of her she's fairly reliable. I'm quite fortunate in that i have a woodburner and no bath(only a shower which wont allow more than 10mins in it-dont ask!) so i dont think my utilites will increase dramatically. I suppose i just want someone else to tell me its a good idea!

My lodger seemed really nice and quiet - in a caring role, liked the same things I did, wouldn't say boo to a goose .


She was mostly quiet because she drank like a fish and passed out in her room most nights (leaving everything on as she was afraid of the dark) she burnt her dinner cooking whilst drunk, she used knives on my non-stick pans and was often suicidal over her boyfriend because he couldn't look at another woman (incl me).
She also interpreted ' no guests without prior permission' to mean 'no guests when I was around to see them' and i came home ot find him there.


You never know.

steffiraf

Thank you both. Those links are very enlightening! I didnt think a written agreement would be necessary, but i now see that it is. Am glad i asked now....

Kynthia

It's so much better to agree everything at the start in writing and full discussion, as you can always relax rules later but it can cause bad feeling when you make things stricter after some time. Do some research on lodger agreements and common issues people encounter. Noise, cleaning, sharing of food, bills, guests, etc are all common difficult areas so discuss them. Also rather than be constantly asking for money and possibly disagreeing on amounts, set a rent rate that is all inclusive of utilities beforehand. The rent a room allowance includes all income you receive including contributions for bills so it won't make any difference compared to charging them separately and it will help your friend plan her money.

I hope it goes well. I helped out a friend for a month once when she needed temporary accommodation near after a breakup and she's never forgotten it.

mlz1413

I had 2 rulers for my lodger
1 it's your home NOT your own
2 don't let the headboard bang the wall

I had a great lodger who was a friend very quickly and stayed that way, even 20 years on. But this is not necessarily the rule! As my lodger worked a lot and never bought anyone home.

Decide before your lodger moves in what is and is not acceptable. Invite them round for a cuppa and a chat and talk about these boundaries.

Make it plain that you want a lodger for approx / a max of 6 months

Do remember that your potential lodger has been living in a dive with truck drivers who don't care how their house mates live ....... So some ground rules will start you off on the right footing.

tealady

Hi
I lived in digs for a while and it did help having ground rules.
Most important was"my room is mine" I kept it clean, but the landlady knocked if she wished to come in to check or leave stuff there(eg clean bedclothes)
Second most important rule was the 1st one out of the house in the morning had 1st use of the bathroom (we both worked shifts).
Give each other space and discuss what you both will and won't accept. It is sensible really. And allow your lodger some say, make it feel like home (such as use of shared areas).
Good luck with it

TBagpuss

I agree with PPs that it is absolutely essential to have ground rules and to make sure that you are both clear about expectations.

for instance:

- Visitors - think about what you are comfortable with and discuss in advance - it's useful to consider not only stuff like whether it's OK for the lodger to have overnight guests, but if so, how much notice you need, and how often you;d be comfortable with it (one person may see 'occasional overnight guests' as meaning once or twice a year, another may see that as meaning once a week)

- living habits - be open about your normal routine, and what sot of time you get up and go to bed. When I had a lodger, her definition of an early night was getting to bed before 1 a.m. My definition of a late night was going to bed at 11.. It worked week for us (no queues in the bathroom) but part of why it worked was that we discussed it in advance and we agreed that we would not have the TV or music/radio on after 10.30 or before 8.30 (expect with headphones) so neither would wake the other up.

- who buys what? Do you have a kitty for things such as loo roll, washing up liquid etc or will you continue to buy these as the householder?

- think about what things you would find annoying or difficult to live with (e.g. dirty dishes in the sink, washing left on the line for days on end, levels of tidyiness in shared areas) and ask her about what things she is comfortable / finds annoying. Consider whether it would be useful to draw up some general 'house rules'. Be honest - if you got the house unusually tidy for when she came round, admit it and let her know that it will normally be a bit more relaxed.

- bear in mind that while it is your house, it it likely to be reasonable for you to compromise as well as for your lodger to do so.

- discuss how you will share household tasks - I would normally assume that she will be responsible for keeping her own bedroom clean and tidy, and to clear up after herself when she uses the kitchen and bathroom, but discuss whether you expect her to share cleaning the rest of the house (no right answer, but you need to both be on the same page)

- be open about the length of time you see the arrangment lasting.

- do have a written agreement of some kind, setting out details of what she will pay (both for rent and bills) and be clear about whether she will be responsible for any breakages/damage.

- check your insurance and mortgage to make sure that you will not invalidate your insurance by having a lodger (and whether you insurance would cover her belongings)

Go for it!