The impatience is making me feel depressed

Julesiep

Hi everyone

As you can see from my siggy I am nearly there! But for some reason I feel depressed. My DFD just feels so close yet so far. I keep logging into my stepchange account and working out what my amounts will be over the next few months. I am doing nothing else. House is a state and I look a mess. I think of that £1013 of surplus and it makes me sad that I don't have it. Has anyone else felt like this? I have never wanted to cry throughout my whole DMP but now I feel desperate for my life back.
I thought if I planned something for when I am DF I will feel better, it has just made me feel worse. Odd!

climbingoutoftheabyss

I know this is a cliche, but you really must look at the positives. from over £50k of debt you owe just £4k. Wow, what an achievement!

There are people that dream of only owing £4k, you've done so well to get this far you really, really don't need to feel sad.

Perhaps you are over-thinking the debt. I would suggest only logging in to Stepchange once per month and for the rest of the time relaxing and getting everything else straight. Debt does become the primary thought and I think it's taking over everything. You're nearly there, 'park' thoughts of the debt and think about something else.

It's not long until February, but worrying yourself won't help in the slightest.

R_P_W

Wow really amazing progress! You should give yourself a pat on the back....end is in site.

Keep it up!

newlifeahead

Julesiep wrote: »

Hi everyone

As you can see from my siggy I am nearly there! But for some reason I feel depressed. My DFD just feels so close yet so far. I keep logging into my stepchange account and working out what my amounts will be over the next few months. I am doing nothing else. House is a state and I look a mess. I think of that £1013 of surplus and it makes me sad that I don't have it. Has anyone else felt like this? I have never wanted to cry throughout my whole DMP but now I feel desperate for my life back.
I thought if I planned something for when I am DF I will feel better, it has just made me feel worse. Odd!

Hi Jules. I could have written this myself. I feel just the same as you. I also started at just over £59k and now owe £4303. I thought I would feel good about things by now but I still feel the same as if I owe £59k:eek:
I can't wait until it is over and I can then try to get a life:o

Good luck on the last part of your journey.

tibawo

Really feel for you... I have one payment to make and I really want to magic the money to set myself free ... It 's literally three weeks.

I feel like a slob, I think the depression comes because you can 't make time move faster and it reminds you of how you'failed' BUT as people have said focus on the positive, the light of the tunnel is there but look back over your shoulder knowing what you have achieved, baby steps do add up.

Stewart_78

What a funny lot we are? It's amazing the tricks that our minds can play on us isn't it? I guess it's because you are coming to the end of a long road that has been so hard but in reality nothing much will change. There will be no fireworks unless you let them off. I often think about being debt free and to be honest, it doesn't fill me with the joy it should. There are still money pressures and bills to pay. All you really know is that you have proved you have been bad with money.

Sorry none of that is of much help. I would arrange myself a private party for one on the day, have a glass of bubbly and a sticky bun, a good cry if you want and then look out of the window at a brave new world.

Deep_In_Debt

I hear you!!

The hardest part for me was from the last year onwards. I still had a few thousand to go, but the light was there shining brightly. I'm in a job that I hate and want to leave but only stuck at it as I needed to clear my debts. I got more and more depressed as the months went on, but finally in July I became debt free. I'm still working at the same place but will be looking to leave as soon as I get another job, work locally and will be able to take a drop in salary and finally have a life...I'm much happier now that I am no longer tied to where I'm currently working.

You've done well OP, keep going and just watch that light getting brighter.

[Deleted User]

just take strength from the progress you've made; you are an inspiration, nearly there!

John1993_2

You must be paying down quiite a decent quantity each month, and so, presumably, will have a decent excess to put into savings once you are debt free. IIt'd be normal to treat yourself to sommething small out of this excess to celebrate your achievement, so why not have a look around at what you can do with that? You could check out weekends away, a city break, or the like, to remind yourself of the sort of thing that will be available to you once this monthly debt repayment has gone. Having something nice to look forward to in the sprinng might lift you more than the knowledge that your accout will be at zero on that date.

HOK3Y

I think part of this is probably down to this being the only way you know how to live. I'm not saying you want to remain in debt consciously, but sub-consciously you realize you are careening toward a whole new way of living - and that is a mammoth change. Change is often resisted and typically breeds negativity in stress or depression. Keep pushing through - it's all going to be okay!

quantic

Maybe you are coming to the realisation of what you have had to do (in terms of sacrifices) in order to undo your previous financial woes and this is causing you pain. Its like being in a bad relationship, even when its finished you can't help but punish yourself over it. I think you just need to give yourself time to adjust and move forward.

I am debt free now and even have savings but I still feel quite anxious about money in general, I think it just takes some time (as with all things) to get yourself mentally back on track. I find that some of the things I developed along the way were actually more beneficial to me than being debt free, such as self control, extreme patience and motivation, try and see your positives

Best of luck.