What do you deem 'love' to be?

Ophelia_10

I'm talking about 'love' in the context of your partners.

I find the word 'love' difficult to define and wondered how others would define it?

And, perhaps more importantly, how do you reconcile the things you don't like about your partner with 'loving' them? For example, if they are very judgemental or introverted and you are very liberal and extroverted, how do you reconcile those differences and still 'love' them?

What is 'love'.....can you define it?

Just interested in this subject and the views of others :-)

Thank you

meritaten

I think it can be not liking them on times - but caring deeply about them and the things that matter to them. feeling 'bereft' without them. and in my case feeling panic when a urine test throws up the possibility of cancer and the deep sense of relief when it was just borderline and the docs are keeping an 'eye' on him. its also making him give up pork pies and pasties for his tea because his cholesterol is high and he is a bit overweight! and he still drives you nuts -cos you don't agree on much! except you both love your kids, you both love caravan holidays and you both love family and home. at the same time you drive each other mad!

aileth

There are lots of different kinds of love. To me, love is being unable to think of a life without that person. That applies to love for your partner, husband, kids, best friend, family etc. I know even when I am at my most hopping at my husband, I think, "Oh I've bloody well had enough", but then I imagine a life without him and I simply can't fathom it.

I think 'love' when you are talking about an object, or a holiday destination, is a lot more vacuous than that. It's just to emphasise you REALLY like it.

Dunroamin

You don't need to like everything about a person to love them but, personally, I couldn't be in a relationship with someone whose character was the opposite of mine.

Tiglath

It's love when you're not yet/no longer wondering if there's space under the patio

Bangton

For me, it's not something I can control with regards to my partner. So yes, we have differences and yes he can grate on my last nerve but I love him nonetheless because I just do!

I've met lots of lovely, caring, considerate people; all traits I'd use to describe my partner but something else made me fall in love with him. I could list his amazing qualities of which he has many and say that's the reason I love him but even when he has been a bit of an ar5e I've still loved him no matter what.

So I guess I'm the same as you. I find it hard to define and whilst I know exactly what makes me happy to be with my partner I don't know why he is the only person in the world I can tolerate for long enough to share my whole life with!

He just makes me feel so content, happy and warm inside when I see him at the end of the day (well, most of the time!!) so I guess I don't need to define anything really

Hermia

Ophelia_10 wrote: »

And, perhaps more importantly, how do you reconcile the things you don't like about your partner with 'loving' them? For example, if they are very judgemental or introverted and you are very liberal and extroverted, how do you reconcile those differences and still 'love' them?

I think love is when you feel pain in your stomach at the thought of losing your loved one or anything happening to them.

As for differences it depends on what the difference is. I think your introvert/extrovert example would not be an issue as long as you make allowances for each other. The judgemental/liberal thing may be more of an issue. I definitely could not love someone who was bigoted/racist/homophobic.

Alikay

I don't know what love is, and going by the number of songs on the subject nether do quite a few other people! I'm sure there's something scientific to love too, maybe to do with meeting of our own and the other party's wants and needs. I have experienced cessation of love, still loving people when roles become v changed, loving people who frankly bring nothing but hard work and complications to my life, and love which has endured through many decades: The older I get, the less I know about it all!

Lovelyjoolz

I think if you have to ask, you've never felt it. And even if you've felt it, you'll never be able to fully explain it. That's the wonder of it

It's there in the complete desolation you feel when you imagine your life without your partner. It's there in the peace you feel when you're with them.

But it's also there in the silence, when you can just sit together without having to say a word. It's in the knowing that he/she will always love you, always be there for you, who knows you and all your foibles but will never judge you.

My OH and I are very different in some aspects, but my failings coincide with his strengths and vice versa, so I think we are both better people together, than apart.

Yes, he still drives me nuts occasionally, as I do him, but there is no quibble or disagreement or annoyance that is more important than the love we have, so we just let those things go. My ex and I fought constantly, sometimes viciously, and I learned very early on in this relationship that being right wasn't as important as being happy. If my OH and I really can't agree on something we can simply agree to disagree and leave it at that. Then we go off and do something else more entertaining

I honestly think that I couldn't exist without him. At least, I couldn't see the point in it if he weren't around.

lizziem_2

Olivia Colman gave a perfect definition of love the way I see it - she said 'proper love should be utterly supportive and comfortable, and it feels like a raincoat or a jacket potato'. That is how I love my partner, and what I see reflected back at me when I look into his eyes.

I also found this article on Tiny Buddha very helpful, about working as a team and not individuals: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/dramatically-improve-your-relationships-by-becoming-a-team/

System

Soulmates :):)