Spiralling into The Abyss

Lateralus

I really don't know where this goes. But here goes.

This is an "end of my rope" post. I really have no clue what to do.

I'll start with some back story, I'll try to be brief:

We are a family of 4; me, my husband and our two daughters (3 and 1.5). My husband and I have had mental health issues for a long time. Him 17 years, me 13. We've both been diagnosed as bipolar.

I got sick about 3 months ago now. Vomiting round the clock, severe pain, the list goes on. I lost over 30lbs in five weeks; went from a size 18 to a size 12 in that time. The dr suspects gallstones. I'm waiting around for appointments, but that's a different rant entirely. My husband is self employed and work has been hard to come by. He's also been training as an electrician in the evenings, but fell desperately behind when I got ill as I couldn't cope alone with the children. We haven't really got a support network around us. This has also limited his capability to find work. He also recently and unexpectedly lost a dear friend whom he'd been close with for 25 years. He took it hard. His brother, with whom he once had a very close relationship, has disowned him, and he doesn't know why. Nor will his brother tell him. This has been ongoing for over two years now. At his last attempt to reconcile things, his brother shut him down and said he didn't want to know him. Two days later, my husband attempted suicide, and was then sectioned for three weeks. During the first week of his sectioning, we were served an eviction notice as "the landlord has new intentions with the property". This, a month after illegally trying to increase our rent (incorrect notice period given). We have been exemplary tenants, so why he's being such a jackass, I have no idea.

We can't find anywhere to live that'll accept housing benefit. It is my understanding that the closest temporary accommodation is about 15/20 miles away, ripping us from the catchment area for both of our mental health related treatments (which it took 10 months and a mental breakdown to receive) as eligibility is based on GP, and we'd be well and truly out of the catchment area. My eldest is meant to be starting nursery, which would be much needed childcare respite; however I don't want to settle her somewhere knowing she could also be ripped from that in a matter of weeks. She's very sensitive, and already distressed at the idea of moving house.

Meanwhile, other financial niggles pop up. Our credit card is maxed, our overdraft is maxed. Our washing machine just blew up! A tyre needs replacing on our car (we live relatively remotely). Final month's rent is due tomorrow, and for the first time ever, we don't have it. The cupboards are bare. I have no clothes that fit, or keep me warm. Neither of us are fit to work at the moment and we are just... Drowning. Quite simply, we are drowning.

I don't know what to do. My mental health is deteriorating. I've been trying to hold everything together for my kids, and now, I am failing. When not even your babies are keeping you going, what are you meant to do?

sassyblue

OP l just wanted to give you a huge (((HUG))), it sounds like you've both been doing your best whilst having some real bad luck thrown at you.

What do those sure start centres do? Do they give any advice for these situations? Have you got a food bank nearby?

I'm sure others will be along soon with some great advice. Xx

nikki11

Hi Lateralus,((hugs)) your babies are your reason to keep going !

First off, I don't know where you live but could you call into a local Housing Office and put your name down for a house or go to CAB regarding housing and what your rights are and see if you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to? Also ring credit card company and agree a payment plan? Is there any family members at all that could help you out, even a few pound for food? Or check for food banks close to you.

Things seem bad at the minute but they will get better, sorry not much help, but there's lot's of people on here with more knowledge, didn't want to read and run!!

paulineb_2

Is your husband well enough to be working? Are you claiming every penny in benefit you are entitled to.

If the cupboards are bare get to a food bank, they will give you enough food for a few days at least.

And get some advice about the landlord and the eviction, if its illegal it can be challenged.

You can move temporarily and still keep the same Gp if you plan to move back to the area

Does your husband claim WTC as hes self employed? A roof over your head and food in the cupboards are your main priority, the rest can wait and also, if you are not coping with debt, call an organisation called step change and get them to give you some support.

paulineb_2

And I agree, get to your local council office and let them know you are on the point of becoming homeless.

Lateralus

Thanks for your responses. My husband isn't really fit for work yet. I'm also still very ill, so I'd also say I'm unfit to care for my kids alone.

I've been to every organisation I can think of. Housing drop ins, a local organisation set up specifically for housing help. There's only so much they can seemingly do, though. The biggest hurdle is finding somewhere that'll 1. take housing benefit and 2. Is affordable. Rent here seems grossly disproportinate to the LHA we've been awarded. Our current property is £130 more. We're on the housing list, but it's my understanding we won't be considered even category "B" until the date on our eviction notice arrives. I'm unsure if we'll ever count as category "A".

I'll definitely look in to Step Change. Thank you.

paulineb_2

If hes not fit for work, then he should get to a GP and get benefit that hes entitled to, I do understand that its positive for people to be working and not to be working can make people feel worse, but if he really is too unwell, then he could put a claim in for ESA, possibly DLA, also yourself, you might be able to claim DLA as well

Try and get some advice from somewhere like the CAB that could maybe help you and see what options you have benefit wise

And by that Im certainly not suggesting that you stay on benefits for life, if you are ill you are ill

There have been times in my life where Ive been too ill to work and I didnt get additional benefit but I needed that time out from work until my mental health was better

paulineb_2

Also, post a thread on your housing situation on the housing section of this site, you might get some advice about challenging your eviction if its illegal

And if theres no food, please get to a food bank asap.

Theres no harm in trying to get support in desperate times.

Lateralus

I got him/us on to ESA the day I found out he was in hospital.. It's weird the things one does in a crisis. He's signed off by his GP now. I'll definitely look into DLA, though. For some reason I thought that had been abolished.

I don't think the eviction is illegal, but the landlord did try to sneak in a rent increase illegally a couple of months before (18 days notice as opposed to a month). We're in a periodic tenancy now, and it was a simple S21 notice siting "new intentions" as the reason.

RAS

Lateralus wrote: »

Thanks for your responses. My husband isn't really fit for work yet. I'm also still very ill, so I'd also say I'm unfit to care for my kids alone.

I've been to every organisation I can think of. Housing drop ins, a local organisation set up specifically for housing help. There's only so much they can seemingly do, though. The biggest hurdle is finding somewhere that'll 1. take housing benefit and 2. Is affordable. Rent here seems grossly disproportinate to the LHA we've been awarded. Our current property is £130 more. We're on the housing list, but it's my understanding we won't be considered even category "B" until the date on our eviction notice arrives. I'm unsure if we'll ever count as category "A".

I'll definitely look in to Step Change. Thank you.

Local Housing Allowance will only allow you to afford the cheapest 30 percent of 2 bedroom properties in your area.

You probably need to look in the local paper for private landlords but be very very careful about the ones who want fees up front to "reserve" properties and do not pay anything until repairs are done.

First things first though:

You do know that the S21 notice to quit does not require you to leave on the end date?

That once you stay, you are still liable for rent but the LL cannot just remove you.

Only once he has been to court will you get an eviction notice and you may be able to plead for extra time.

Even then he needs to organise bailiffs, so this could be 4 months away?

Can you get your paperwork re the rent together, please?

Is your deposit registered with an approved scheme?

Oje what date did you sign the rental agreement?

On what date did you recieve the presecribed information regarding the scheme?

Lateralus

RAS: I will send you a PM shortly, just putting the kids to bed. Thank you.