Struggling to be DFW

AkaBreeno

Beware: MSE Lurker airing her dirty debts for all to see!


As mentioned above I *may* have been reading MSE for a long time from the depths of my lurker cave until today. After reading so many encouraging, helpful and friendly posts I finally decided to admit I'm in trouble. Over the years Iv grown more foolish (not wiser as they promised) with money, and some consecutive bad choices have led me to the mess I'm in today.

Admittedly I'm not as worse off as some people, and I thank my lucky stars for that, but when you cant sleep for wondering how your going to make it one day to the next, somethings gotta change!

...so iv included my SOA, and if your wondering why it looks so bare utility-wise, ill have to explain ....and hopefully not confuse anyone!

1. March 2013 : Finally ended it with my OH. We had been arguing for months over money, mainly due to the fact I was the main breadwinner and he spent all his spare time (and money) on doing up his p.o.s car. (Id need a whole other post to get into THAT can of worms!:eek:) I was struggling to pay food bills (hello credit card debt!) and I wanted to save for the future eg: mortgage. He didn't. in fact he didn't see any problem renting a house we couldn't afford, living paycheck to paycheck and being in debt his whole life.

2. I'm originally from Ireland. I had always stated that if OH and I ever broke up (again) I'd move back and start fresh. Foolishly, that's just what I did. I say foolishly because instead of stopping and thinking "Well, I'm in a very well paid job, so ill just wait rent a little place of my own." I rushed to get out of our shared rented house and home to mummy and daddy. Leaving a half decorated house and no bond to be returned. (My fault I'll admit!)

3. I moved home with no job. Baaaaad move. Cue three weeks living off mum and dad and feeling like a tool.

4. Moving is costly. :shocked: Between the ferry (had to pay for my dads jeep to come over and both his an my car to go back loaded with my stuff) and borrowing petrol money off mam I racked up £1000 owed to my parents now.

5. Myself and a co worker started dating. He had been a shoulder to cry on during the breakdown of my relationship.. listening to my rage filled rants and occasionally dragging me up when I fell into periods of "this is hopeless" moments. I refused to think of him romantically as I figured it was me being emotionally messed up. It wasnt untill later we realised we both had the same feelings :happyhear. .....and I was leaving... :wall:

6. My original plan was to go home, get a job, pay off all my debit and possibly look for a higher paid job within my old sector in wales, as I almost considered it to be my home after living here for 6 years. That took a nosedive when the job I acquired back in Ireland cut everyone's hours down to 20hrs a week. I couldn't cover basic expenses never mind paying mum back.

7. The Clincher : my previous manager from my old job offered me a managerial position in one of the stores back in wales. More hours, more money and id get to move back. But that scuppered my original stay-at-home plans, didn't it? :doh:
Id of spent all that money to get home just to up and move back?? Finally after loooooong talks with my mum we realized that staying at home wasn't going to get me anywhere and I had to "follow the money" as she put it.


8. Myself and my (new) OH (who visited frequently during the three months I was in Ireland) came up with a plan. I would move in with him (suggested by his parents) for few months whilst I pay off my mum and he paid off his overdraft. That way we wouldn't have expensive outgoings enabling us to repay and save quicker for when we rent our own place. Hence the no utility bills, we just buy our own food and help out around the house.

9. I would cease employment in ireland end of aug, drive over (needed the aul banger for work) with just a small amount of clothes ect, planing that when we moved into our own place we'd come back for the rest. (Who knew you could have withdrawals from crafting?):p

10. The Problem: before I moved over I had been told id start asap, which was great as I didn't want too long a gap in work due to bills ect. When I landed however (31st aug) and popped into the store to see about contract signing I was told the area manager was on holidays. Now I know the staff in that store (as it was closest to my previous one and we'd often cover shifts for each other) and they knew about me coming to work but there was nothing "in the diary" so to speak. So I said id come back when the stand in area manager was in and have a chat with her. At this stage I'm not worried, iv only landed and one week off wasn't going to push the boat out too much.
Only when I came in the next time the stand in manager wasn't there. A bit peeved, I left saying ill call back during the week. The next time I saw her however, she told me there was no notes of me starting in the area managers (who was on holidays) instructions and because of that, she didn't have the authorization to sign my contract. I would have to wait till he got back on the 16th! :eek:

Now one week I can tolerate, but being two- three weeks out of work means ill have little or no money at the end of the month, let alone to get through to the next payday! (God I hate monthly wages!) My last pay from ireland wasn't much €265 and that went on car tax (£68) rent (£100) and a low budget monthly food shop (£60) and a new sim card and call credit (£10) *my iphone was taken from my bag at the gym I kinda planned on having that for another three-4 years .. *

So now I have exactly €10.78 in my irish account, my barclays account is -£5.

And even though I'll have managed to save on my car insurance by changing from Tesco (£1600) to Liverpool Victoria (£766) this month the first installment is £178 on the 31st of this month and I'm pretty sure i wont be able to afford it. Without insurance though i cant get to work and without work i cant pay the insurance. Bloomin circles.

Iv sent off for a tax refund from ireland (approx €300) but that might take weeks yet. Iv already loaned so much off my parents, I loath to ask for more. Especially when I'm meant to be paying them back.

It certainly feels like a bottomless pit iv dug myself into..




Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1000
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1000

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 100
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 10
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 100
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 80
Road tax................................ 15
Car Insurance........................... 145
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 30
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 50
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 6
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 20
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 10
Total monthly expenses.................. 616


Assets
Cash.................................... 10.78
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 450
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 460.78

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
tesco credid card..............1107.45...97........0
owed to Mums Visa..............1000......100.......12
Total unsecured debts..........2107.45...197.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,000
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 616
Available for debt repayments........... 384
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 197
Amount left after debt repayments....... 187

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 460.78
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -2,107.45
Net Assets.............................. -1,646.67

Tixy

Hi and welcome to un-lurkdom!

Sounds like you have been through a lot recently

In terms of the new job, can you go to someone above the area manager? their boss perhaps? they'll presumably be aware of the contact and situation?
Do you not have anything in writing from the actual area manager?

Or if you have now spoken to the actual area manager (if they are back now) and have started in your new job any chance of any wage advance in the circumstances? Are there are discretionay relocation funds available from the firm that you could apply for?

Your statements of affairs and debts look fairly manageable if you can just get through to the next payday.

Do you have an overdraft facility currently? have you tried asking your bank for a temporary overdraft?

AkaBreeno

Thanks Tixy,

Yup, its been a hectic month to say the least! Determined to get through it though!

I haven't had anything in writing, I'm afraid. My old manager rang me to ask if I would come back and fill the position. I double checked several times before moving (for fear of moving and then not having a job.) The job definitely is there for me, its just frustrating to have such an ongoing gap in income. Like you said, its literally just until next pay day.
Had a good aul chinwag with mum on the phone just now (it doesn't matter what age you are, your mum always makes you feel better!) and I'm going to pop into work tomorrow as I know the Area Manager will be in, just to be polite but firm about settling a start date in concrete. Although I'm almost certain our company offers nothing such as a discretionary relocation fund or an advance.

I only have a bog standard basic barclays account atm I'm afraid, so I cant apply for an overdraft. But I've booked in for a review though so as long as I keep it in credit for six months I can upgrade. Which, nicely enough, coincides with my 0% apr ending on my tesco card. Upgrading the barclays bank account means I can balance transfer the remainder onto their 0% for 24 months card and continue paying off the debt.

My OH has said he'd pay the first month car insurance for me (with me paying him back after payday and in exchange for him being left alone to play GTA5 for the rest of the month..:rotfl: ) so that's one major worry handled for now.:D

Busy making meal planners for the next month, thanks to plethora of ideas on MSE. Id quite happily live off soup and make do with whatevers in the chest freezer.....the main bugbear will be convincing the OH as he's a big gym bunny and his idea of a shopping list is meat, meat and more MEAT.:D

AkaBreeno

Oooh me and my bad posting habits....

Quick update;

After what turned out to be a challenging No Spend month-and-a-half (!) I have battled through! Thanks to some fantastic ideas on MSE, I managed to stretch my tax refund (€350-Whohoo!) :j for two months, spending only on petrol and two credit card repayments. Minimum repayments admittedly but its better than nothing! The OH was really understanding about it all, even offering to pay for my rent. But in true stubborn Irish fashion, I politely declined. "Fe*k off will ye, ill be grand!" :rotfl:

So now I'm nicely settled into my new job and my car insurance has gone down by over half!:shocked: The only bump in the road was when I lost my el cheapo mobile (dont ask, I'm usless with things!) So iv taken out a new contract which I'm paying for using my old gym membership I wasnt using.

So now my expenses stand at this:

Income: £1100 (varies from month to month, but ill always get £860 minimum)

Rent : 50
Groceries : 100
Car insurance : 67
Petrol : 80
Mobile contract : 28
Tablet insurance : 6
Contact lenses/Glasses : 30
Cosmetic : 20

Total expenses : £381

Tesco cc repayments : 100
Mums cc repayments : 100
Food for kittys parents are minding : 50

Total repayments : £250 Total expenses : £631

So granted even if I get my minimum hours at
£860
-£631
£229 - hopefully each month if I manage to keep within budget I can start lobbing more money off mums card and mine.

Im currently appling for a vanquis card so I can transfer the balance from it to mums, at least then I dont owe mum and the debt is mine and mine alone.

*Update! * vanquis sent me a letter asking for more proof of identity further to approval- is this a good sign??

AkaBreeno

Just checked my Tesco Credit Card Account (TCC) and its finially under 1, 000!! Down from £1135 to £946!!

**Happy dance!!** :dance:

AkaBreeno

Right, now my expenses stand a wee bit like this..


Income: £1000


Expenditures:

Rent: £50
Petrol: £100
Car Ins: £66
Tablet Ins: £6
Mobile: £30
Spending Money: £100
TOTAL : £352

Payments:

Mum: £100 (+ £300 excess)
Tesco: £50
Savings: £100
TOTAL: £550

Income: 1000
Expend: 352
Paymts: 550
£98

Ideally £98 isnt a lot to be left with seeing as theres gonna be 5 weeks in this month between payments BUT; thats everything paid for including £100 spending money for the month. The only expense is Boxing day, which is a party in a friends house so no expensive nightclubs there! Thanks to me and the OH working in Aldi, the chest freezer is stocked full (red 'reduced' stickers ahoy ) and iv bought all the veg reduced as well, chopped ,bagged and frozen that lot as well so we dont need to do a food shop for at LEAST a month and a half!

Also we've booked flights to Ireland for the first week of feb with RyanAir this time, coming in at a cheap £67 return for TWO people compared to AerLingus's quote of £236!! Were paying his dad the petrol money to drop us off and collect instead of paying airport parking.

Fingrs crossed iv done my sums right!! Lol :T