dating OH on the cheap

jmd10

Hi Everyone/anyone

First time I've posted, been reading a lot and I think the advice people give is great.

I'm married, 11 years :eek: with 2 young children. Well I think my problem is quiet common. I love my husband but my marriage is slowly turning into death by responsibility and boredom. We are both aware of this and are trying to spend quality time together. This is where the money is an issue, everything we did together before the kids cost money, e.g cinima, eathing out, weekends away, holidays, shopping trips. With no money I don't know what to do together. There are only so many walks you can go on and we live far from family so no free babysitting. We do nice things as a family but I feel we owe it to our children to ensure we continue to love each other and stay a family. I welcome any and all ideas for things that help both of us spend quality time together doing something that helps lighten the burden of responsibility for a short time, without sending us into the red.

Thanks

newcook

both book a day off work when the kids are at school/nursery pack up a picnic and head for the nearest park/wood...

candlelit dinner when the kids have gone to bed...

borrow a sexy book from the library and read bits to each other...

share a bubble bath and soap each other down...

take it in turns to blindfold each other and feed the blindfolded one food...

Justie

you could have a no screens night once a week - where you're not allowed any tv or computers on but have to play games or listen to music and talk. It's amazing how different it can make the evening - add candles and it's quite romantic too

get hold of a copy of the Virago Book of Fairytales and read aloud to each other (grown up fairytales and not as embarrassing as reading erotica aloud)

shared bath as newcook suggests is lovely

there are loads of things you can do in the house for free you don't have to go out

if you do want to go out then how about joining a local wine group or something else social that's not necessarily just the two of you - ok so it requires a babysitter but the groups themselves are usually cheapish. Or start your own film or book group with a few people you know once a month. You can share the hosting so you don't always have to have a babysitter. Having shared interests outside of the family is as important as spending time together.

linzz_2

I know just what you mean, my partner and I said we'd have a day/night out once a month, then once every two months but it doesn't happen, lucky if it's once a year!!

The no screens idea sounds fab, think we'll give that one a go! If it's not OH looking on ebay, it's me on here or just veging (sp) out in front of the tv!

Another idea for when the little ones have gone to bed that OH did for me a few weeks ago was to turn the dining room into a massage parlour; lots of candles, lots of padding on the dining table (ours is a big farmhouse one, if yours is not so big there's always the living room floor!) and a gorgeous massage...

A wander round Ikea and a 'peaceful' coffee and cake. Or a wander round any shops/shopping centre, you don't have to buy anything except a relaxing cuppa!

newcook

just thought of another one but you need to play 'lets pretend'!

both of you get dressed up, cook a nice meal, bottle of wine (sainsburys basics is nice and only £2.05), get OH to go outside and ring/knock the door to pick you up for your date, take a little walk around the block or your back garden and arrive at the 'restaurant' (your house). after dinner OH can even walk you home (have awalk around the garden again!) and if its been a nice night you could invite him in for 'coffee'!!!!

chergar

aawww newcook that sounds so sweet. I might have to suggest it to my dh.

jmd10

Thanks everyone

I really like the idea of no tv and playing games and the pretend date idea as well. Just really needed something to get me going. Sometimes its hard to remember that the best things in life are free and that somethings are priceless, like good advice and people who listen.

Thanks again.

Rachie_B

Mine and hubbys social life took off once i started mystery shopping ! lol

seriously ! we have had nights out where ive combined a restaurant assignment with a few pubs in the same town.we also do cinema assignments

you can sometimes pick up a hotel assignment for a couple / family too

free food and drinks ,cinema tickets & snaks! mileage allowance and a small fee for doing it ( on some assignments)

I am lucky in the fact that my sister usually babysits for free,
but you can get a weekend sitter for not much more than £20 for 4 hours with https://www.sitters.co.uk .

we have used this company and were very happy to leave our sons with the sitters,they are all qualified / experienced in the childcare / education field and have CRB checks etc

have a look on the Mystery Shopping thread for more details & info : http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=454437

some restaurants / cinema visits allow you to take children with you too

HTH