Advice on seperated partner

Wanno

Hello All
I'm in completely unknown territory here.

My boyfriend is separated from his wife (separated 1.5 years) They have a 4 year old son and I think boyf is listed as main parent as it is 50%.

The wife moved out the house in with her new man when she left him. The house was valued as having negative equity at the time she moved out. He pays the mortgage, bills and provides her with some allowance (not done through CSA). There are no childcare costs. She works, I believe, slightly less that FT hours but not a high salary. At the time of separation, he had outstanding debts and has now cleared this and has a new job with higher income.

The wife has now split up with new man is I am concerned about the boyfriend's situation. I am thinking of moving into the house (I have my own but it seems a logical progression of the relationship to move in with him). The house will be improved by us both and as the housing market improves even slightly, the house may aquire some more value to it.

I, of course, am very keen that he gets divorced - but I know very little about what is best to do in this situation. It is very amicable and the wife has previously suggested she doesn't want any of his money. I am not so sure. Especially as she now faces living and supporting herself.

Can anyone offer me and any advice on:
a) protecting my boyfriends assets - how does he come out in a favourable position.
b) if I spend money on a house [or in fact anywhere to do with this relationship] is there any chance it could be split in a divorce agreement etc.
c) how do I protect myself and my money from being involved in a nasty divorce.

Is it wise for him to get divorced at this stage? He has suggested it might be better to wait.

Brighton_belle

Fairly simple: don't take the next step in your relationship until he is divorced.
Then all the finances will be signed sealed and sorted and you won't be posting on here in 3 years time that you really want your bf to marry you but he hasn't bothered getting divorced yet, oh and your pregnant and the dreadful 'ex' who is still technically his wife wants half your home.

There is a best and right way to do things to maximise your chances of a simple and straight forward life. Presumably you have only been with him for a year or less, so another year will be worth the wait for the simplicity it will bring?

tea_lover

Don't put any money into a house owned by a still-married couple, that's pretty much guaranteed to end in tears.

FBaby

a) protecting my boyfriends assets - how does he come out in a favourable position.

Why would you want advice on this? It is up to him how he protects his assets. He might not see it the way you do. Surely that is not your business at this stage of your relationship to make decision on what belongs to him. I will keep out of this part.

b) if I spend money on a house [or in fact anywhere to do with this relationship] is there any chance it could be split in a divorce agreement etc.

Yes there is. She most likely owns half of the property. Your boyfriend could claim that he spent x on the property when you did, and try to claim for more equity, but there is no guarantee he would get it.

c) how do I protect myself and my money from being involved in a nasty divorce.

Do you own your property currently? If so will you sell or will you rent it? Will you share some of that money with your boyfriend? If not, I would let your boyfriend spend the money on his house and deal with his ex himself. Ultimately you could offer to buy her half out, or they could agree to sell and you and boyfriend could buy something together, or it stays at it is, and you only pay towards the bills and maybe a bit if you get a rental income from your current property.

Wanno

You're quite right on raising why I want advice on it and of course it is for him to action. But as the more financially savy of the two I am trying to become more informed on a situation. As much as I am trying to keep emotion out of it, I think it is worth knowing how he (and as a result, us) can come out of the situation in the best financial situation possible. I'm not really trying to 'do' her out of her entitlements, but equally I want to protect both myself and my other half.

As the house is currently in negative equity - how does that work as there would be nothing to split should they decide the split of assest now?

Does the value of the property when she moved out have any bearing on the split? And how would this change if he waited and they divorced later on and the value had increased?

I'm not thinking of selling my house and ideally it would be rented out once it has some further improvements. We would hope to purchase another house for both of us to live in later on down the line.

thorsoak

If the mortgage is in joint names, and is in negative equity, then both partners are liable for any shortfall. Therefore it isn't a case of your future partner paying 50% of any shortfall - even if he were to do so, the building society could still pursue him if his ex-wife failed to pay her 50%.

Dunroamin

While you're still in a relationship with a married man, I'd keep all your finances separate.

justme111

Interesting. So he does not think it is a good idea to divorce as yet...