Real-life MMD: Should my now debt-free brother move out?

Fujiko

As others have asked, was he contributing anything to household expenses or living there without paying anything? I suspect the latter. He has managed to pay off his debt and is now saving for a deposit on a house, but if he moved out into the real world he would be paying out far more than he would have done at home, even if he had been making a contribution, so it would not be just in your parents' interests but his own if he stays. If he had been paying nothing, your parents would probably be glad not to have the extra mouth to feed and would be glad if he left!

Just one question - if you are so worried about your parents what are you doing to help? and one comment - we are talking about adults not children and there comes a time when everyone has to stand on their own feet and unless they are actually starving or about to be evicted that includes your parents.

marich

As usual - another supposed dilemma which is not quite the real thing !

1) It doesn't actually involve the person who is telling us about it .
2) It doesn't have enough relevant information to let us appreciate the situation .
3) Whose dilemma is it anyway - the brother's or the parents' ?

Come on MSE - let's get something that does actually set us on a moral and financial knife-edge . Enough of these tiny-minded , plain stupid , low , mean , interfering or judgmental pratlings !

Surely most of us can offer some instances of difficult or delicate decisions we have faced in our pasts... get writing !

John_Pierpoint

Two thoughts:

THEY SUPPORTED THEIR SON FROM BIRTH - My response is that their son never asked to be born & I would hope they have brought him up to be thoughtful and responsible for supporting their grandchild (if any) [ There are a lot of people out there who seem to think their children "owe them"].

"OFF YOU GO SON - IT IS GOOD YO SEE YOU STANDING ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET AT LAST" ( we can get more than you are putting into the kitty from a rent a room deal. ) ?

tallgirld

No he shouldn't wait.

Would your parents really want him to postone his plans?

I think he should get out asap just incase anyone starts making him feel guilty.

oldnewhand

Depending on your relationship with your brother you could gently mention how much he must have appreciated their help BUT you ought be ready to be told to butt out or be asked what you're going to do to help.
If you want to be all self righteous you have to be prepared to receive as good as you give.
Hopefully you don't have children; bailing out is what parents do (unless it's counter productive e.g. supporting addiction).
Ask yourself if you are concerned for your parents, want to see fairplay or worried that you'll loose your inheritance.
Harsh words but you are meddling.

Ebenezer_Screwj

Is the brother able-bodied and capable of work? if so, he should stop sponging off his parents and face the real world. Why did he get into debt? Has he never heard of either saving up for what he wants or doing without?