Real-life MMD: Should my now debt-free brother move out?

Former_MSE_Debs

Money Moral Dilemma: Should my now debt-free brother move out?

My brother has finally got himself debt-free, and is now looking to save up a deposit to move out of the family home. But my mother's just been made redundant, leaving only one person paying the bills. As my parents allowed him to live at home during tough times and supported him throughout his debt-free journey, should he wait until they're financially stable again before moving out?

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luxor4t

Surely that is a decision your brother should make for himself?

scotsbob

Another plan would be for you to move in with mummy and help her pay her bills.

gloriouslyhappy

Your parents will know of your brother's plans, and it's for them to decide what's best for the three of them - sounds like you either live separately or are not that 'one person paying the bills', therefore although you will have your own opinion about the situation, it's probably best to keep it to yourself.

Mojisola

MSE_Debs wrote: »

My brother has finally got himself debt-free, and is now looking to save up a deposit to move out of the family home. But my mother's just been made redundant, leaving only one person paying the bills.

As my parents allowed him to live at home during tough times and supported him throughout his debt-free journey, should he wait until they're financially stable again before moving out?

If someone has helped you out, it's good to be able to return the favour. As he's still saving for a deposit, he won't be moving out immediately so maybe things will settle down for the parents before he goes.

BUT - it's really up to your parents and your brother how they work this out.

janiebquick

This is nothing to do with you. It is between your brother and your parents.

JayD

As with so many others here, I want to know why are YOU asking this question? This is your brother's/parents dilemma, not yours!

You are NOT your brother's keeper and the situation you describe is one for him and your parents to sort out between them.

Don't interfere - it never goes well when family try to organise other family member's lives!

Mojisola

JayD wrote: »

Don't interfere - it never goes well when family try to organise other family member's lives!

There's no harm in saying to brother - Mum and Dad could probably do with your help for the next few months, think about putting off your move - but then back off.

If he does move out, that's between them and him.

Dolly_DD

Presumably you've offered to help your parents out as well? To me the situation with your brother is a side issue. They are your parents too and if they are struggling you could help out too. I know I would. This is the type of situation where you have to do what you feel is right for you. And go with what you can live with.

ripongrammargirl

I agree that it is not your business to interfere, but I would be concerned that the brother is leaving at a critical time for your parents, especially if he has been living there without contributing to anything such as rent, bills etc (in effect, sponging). It seems rather like a rat deserting a sinking ship. On the other hand though, if your parents had no children then they would have to have managed like every other childless couple does. They will have to put what they preached into effect, like they taught your brother, and cut down on all necessary expenditure. Show them the MSE website to give them some ideas.

tain

Lol @ 'none of your business'. Doesn't mean we can't discuss the merits of each persons point of view.

1. If he's only just debt free and now saving for a deposit, he's going to be saving for years while still at home, and I'd guess now contributing to the house. So there's not really an issue here.

2. I'm guessing Dad is looking for work? If so, he could get a job next week, therefore there's not really an issue here.

3. If he's going to be moving out next week somehow, then your parents are big boys and girls and can probably manage for themselves. I'm sure they wouldn't want charity from their child by holding them back on their life.

4. It's none of your business anyway.