Overwhelmed!

ska_lover

Duckstar is right, you know, OP.

Some people use a wedding to show their wealth, you do not NEED this stuff, it is all very expensive and completely not necessary.

Screw what 'everyone else' has.

The best weddings I have attended, have been low key affairs - where everyone is relaxed. The more upmarket a wedding, the more stress there is on everyone. The less people can relax

TopQuark

ska_lover wrote: »

Duckstar is right, you know, OP.

Some people use a wedding to show their wealth, you do not NEED this stuff, it is all very expensive and completely not necessary.

Screw what 'everyone else' has.

The best weddings I have attended, have been low key affairs - where everyone is relaxed. The more upmarket a wedding, the more stress there is on everyone. The less people can relax

Absolutely. And some people use a wedding to try to give the impression of wealth, even when they have actually gone into enormous debt to pay for it all. Like you say ska lover, these kind of affairs impress no-one (except for maybe the wrong kind of people) and make people uptight and feel like they must be on their 'best behaviour', can't enjoy be themselves etc.

Yes, guest enjoyment is inversely proportional to how upmarket the wedding is. So, OP, relax!

74jax

rachie29 wrote: »

I've just been looking at people's wedding items that were for sale on a website and thinking wow, I haven't even thought about things like that!

Rach

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Please please don't look at other weddings and think "Oh I should have that"

Steph x

floss2 wrote: »

It's YOUR day, and should reflect you & your groom, not what other people had.

I totally with these replies.

Our wedding - to me - was unique to us. I planned it around my OH kitesurfing and our joint love of the beach. I am a total planner by nature and LOVE crafts. So that for me was half the fun.

A friend at my work said she loved my wedding and could you buy what I had - shells, stones, our top tip tree, the photobooth items, etc etc I said of course she could but didn't she want to collect those things. ie the shells and stones were from every beach OH and I had been too - with a little note in the bowl saying something like 'your centrepiece was picked with love on our visit to Budle Bay' or suchlike. The drift wood we had was what OH had picked whilst kitesurfing and the top tip tree was what our dog picked up on a walk :rotfl: I didn't mind giving her this stuff, but is was very US and not at all THEM.

She then came back and said I was right, she needed to look at her and her partner and plan THEIR wedding.

Do you have hobbies, a favorite holiday, etc if you post ideas on here then we can all suggest 'ooooo you could do this' etc if you're not very good at coming up with ideas.

But please please stay true to yourselves, anyone can have a wedding. You want YOUR wedding and your marriage afterwards.

ska_lover

TopQuark wrote: »

Absolutely. And some people use a wedding to try to give the impression of wealth, even when they have actually gone into enormous debt to pay for it all. Like you say ska lover, these kind of affairs impress no-one (except for maybe the wrong kind of people) and make people uptight and feel like they must be on their 'best behaviour', can't enjoy be themselves etc.

Yes, guest enjoyment is inversely proportional to how upmarket the wedding is. So, OP, relax!

Definitely. I was getting married to my OH - within three weeks of another girl at work who was also getting married that month. She got into debt for 15k for theirs. I never did say anything to her, but I did think it ridiculous..

GlamGirlie

rachie29 wrote: »

Thanks everyone. It's not that I want to use everyone else's ideas or feel that I have to have things because of other people, I just worry that i'm not thinking of even the basics! I know i'm probably being silly! But you have helped me, you are all right, it's about us and no-one else. I sometimes wish I had more time to be creative, working full time and wedding planning is a pain!!

Look online or treat yourself to a glossy wedding magazine and look at the checklist.

These are usually very comprehensive and you can always just cross off the things you won't need / don't want e.g. videographer.

swampduck

Your wedding is celebration of your marriage and should be an reflection of you and your husband. If you want low key - go low key! If you want the whole show off she-bang then go for it!
I could never understand how people were fussing over the nitty gritty of having certain colour butterflies or whatever but to each their own. Having got married last year - our day was very laid back but that was down to a superb venue and their wedding planner. We said what we wanted or didn't want, said what our colour scheme was and gave the venue a budget we could afford. We had a fabulous day and our guests could not believe just how everything just flowed from the ceremony to photographs to sit down pie and peas meal onto an evening celebration. Like the OP we didn't have a lot of time to be creative (we are both artistically challenged!!) both working full time and only five months from start to finish once we'd set a date!
Don't be afraid to ask people to do things for you - the girl who did our invites also did the table planner and place cards. If the venue will decorate for you then let them.
Don't stress if people make excuses or not if they are coming and don't take it personally. We would have been just as happy if it had been the two of us for the day or the way we had it with family and close friends.
Either way it was our getting married that was important not all the other stuff that goes with it. It's nice to have but not important in the grand scheme of things if you are marrying the person you love

Swampy

duchy

Must admit I'm cheating a bit as we're doing Las Vegas (definitely no Elvis) wedding. They do it all for you......and just cos I think it looks gorgeous -here's the Chapel http://www.tuscanylv.com/weddings/

rachie29

Thanks everyone. You really have set my mind at rest. Jax74, you are right about it being our day and our way. I was thinking we hadn't got much in the way of "us" type of things, or hand made by us (just don't have that much time as have two jobs!) But we have when I really look at it! I am having my bouquet hand made by my MIL's best friend (it is made out of "porcelain" which is actually sugar craft without being edible and with gouache added, so no porcelain really!!) We partially made the invites and a few of us made them up and put them together. We have hand made the table confetti (glitter paper and snowflake punches!) My friend is making the table centerpieces which will feature pheasant feathers (and nod to my Gpa who passed away in February, he was a true country man) and the brass tops from shotgun cartridges (whole family is into country sports and clay shooting) The bridesmaid dresses are being made by my chief bridesmaid as are the combs/head bands, and my Mum is making the shrugs (winter wedding!) A friend is bringing his old landrover for photos as we don't need a wedding car but would like something featured in the photos and this fits perfectly. So I think so far we have managed to put our mark on things! The venue is very "us" (have a nosy, google the "inn at whitewell" in the trough of bowland if you fancy!!) so I don't know why i'm worrying. I guess I was being a bit of a bridezilla! I knew you fellow brides would help me out, thank you! I was losing the wedding planning buzz but I am much more excited now.

swampduck

Ooh! Lovely venue and just down the road from me!! lol!!

Have a wonderful time with the rest of your planning. Everything sounds gorgeous and if it is a reflection of you and your fianc! (plus a nod to other people and memories) Then it is indeed your day your way!

Swampy

74jax

rachie29 wrote: »

You really have set my mind at rest. Jax74, you are right about it being our day and our way. I was thinking we hadn't got much in the way of "us" type of things, or hand made by us (just don't have that much time as have two jobs!) But we have when I really look at it! I am having my bouquet hand made by my MIL's best friend (it is made out of "porcelain" which is actually sugar craft without being edible and with gouache added, so no porcelain really!!) We partially made the invites and a few of us made them up and put them together. We have hand made the table confetti (glitter paper and snowflake punches!) My friend is making the table centerpieces which will feature pheasant feathers (and nod to my Gpa who passed away in February, he was a true country man) and the brass tops from shotgun cartridges (whole family is into country sports and clay shooting) The bridesmaid dresses are being made by my chief bridesmaid as are the combs/head bands, and my Mum is making the shrugs (winter wedding!) A friend is bringing his old landrover for photos as we don't need a wedding car but would like something featured in the photos and this fits perfectly. So I think so far we have managed to put our mark on things! The venue is very "us" (have a nosy, google the "inn at whitewell" in the trough of bowland if you fancy!!) so I don't know why i'm worrying. I guess I was being a bit of a bridezilla! I knew you fellow brides would help me out, thank you! I was losing the wedding planning buzz but I am much more excited now.

You've put a lot of thought and effort into your day and your friends and family will see this and that it reflects you. There's no need to doubt what you've done or that you should be doing more. I bet you have an amazing time. Your bouquet sounds lovely :j

Not everyone wants to have a wedding that is 'them'. They are happy to pay whatever amount and have the venue do exactly the same as what they would do for a wedding say the week before or the week after. It really doesn't matter as long as it's what they want.

I know that my OH and I are against the norm on here as we are sooooo laid back and when I was on this board planning our wedding I know some where thinking I was too laid back, but I seriously didn't care if anything went wrong, so what if we walked from the wedding to the reception (it was 300meters along a beach not 300 miles) and yes I really DID want a tug-o-war match on the beach. All that mattered to me was that OH turned up, so a guest didn't want to come or dropped out - fine, no I didn't chase RSVPs - you either want to come and let me know or if you can't be bothered too then you're down as not coming.

We both said I Do, at a venue we wanted too and with ONLY those there that we wanted there. We got that certificate and had a bl++dy fabulous day.

Don't stress over what you think you should be doing etc, as long as you both turn up and get married - job done.

PS - this has made me chuckle and I remembered a funny story - might make you smile, my dress didn't fit a couple of weeks before the wedding (I broke my foot in 3 places a few months before the wedding so couldn't do my gym plan as I hoped) and some people at work over lunch were 'OMG what will you do, this is terrible'. One girl actually spat her coffee out when I said 'what? I can only get married in that one dress? I have loads of clothes I could wear, I recon I could even turn up in a bin liner and OH would still say I do':rotfl: