Gambling / Hoarding / Debt / Depression

Just2Ashamed

Okay, it's time to 'fess up. I've had a few days to lick my wounds now, and it's time to stop moping about and start acting.


So, my parents got themselves into a pretty horrendous financial situation (again) and once again I felt obliged to help them out. Just over £1100 added to a 0% card there :eek:


I bought a second hand laptop to do my OU work on - obviously this didn't come with gambling blocking software installed and I stupidly didn't do this immediately. In the midst of insomnia (always a trigger time for me) I was sent a 'bonus' from a gambling site. Much depositing and chasing losses later, I'm in this position.


To compound matters, DH then proceeded to tell me that his debts are substantially higher than I'd thought as he's been using a card for purchases that I thought we'd closed and has been in his overdraft for months :eek:


So, as it stands:


CC1 (0%) £5497.51
CC2 (0%) £1750.00
CC3 (0%) £750.00
CC4 (0%) £2400.00


DH's debt: £3600.00



Total: £13,997.51


No use crying over spilt milk, time to just get a plan and move on. Going forward:


1. Blocking software has been installed and I have made arrangements to start attending a GA session from next week.


2. The first debts to pay off are £600 of DH's that currently incurs interest, and a further £500 that will start in the not-too-distant future.


3. Building an emergency fund of £1000, as well as putting £2000 into the house move savings pot to avoid further credit issues in future. The other debts are on fairly long-term 0% deals so can wait for a few months while the savings are put into place.


4. Sticking to the monthly budget plan I'd previously written up and making savings wherever possible.


5. Continuing to sell things and make extra cash wherever I can.


6. Be proud of even the small changes - I find it too easy to get discouraged, maybe I should start looking at the 1% dents I make into the debt - even £140 is getting closer to that debt free goal.


7. Keep an eye on the bigger picture - what I want for my family, and what my children deserve from me as a parent. Setting sensible, achievable goals without allowing myself to be discouraged by me not meeting the unrealistic targets I demand of myself.


8. Accept help. Stop saying "we're fine" and "we'll cope" when DH's lovely family offer financial assistance. They're doing it because they care, not because they think I'm a terrible parent and I need to stop taking it personally.


9. Help DH with the paperwork for his potential promotion, this could really help with both his satisfaction at work and our family finances.


10. Send off OU paperwork and get back on that horse!

Aaleigha

Its good that you have recognised what has happened
I think if you look at the total debt and mark off each 1% paid will show you results quicker than you think they will

do yourself another soa and get it on here to see if anyone can help you further

and its so good to have you back - come in every day and just record your thoughts it will help you will also get a huge amount of support and you will know you are not on your own
my diary has regular visitors and its helping me stay focussed

Just2Ashamed

Okay, in an attempt to post more regularly and stay on top of things, here we go!


Have juggled some pennies around and closed some old credit cards and bank accounts - reducing temptation and available credit.


Need to get back to a friend today, she sent me a message out of the blue offering to pay back £200 she's owed me for a few years now, so that's nice I'd pretty much written it off at this stage tbh.


DH was paid today so made sure the rent was paid, then reduced his OD by £100, bringing that debt down too.


Expecting a couple of cheques for small amounts for credit balances that were in accounts I've recently closed, will run those up to the bank as soon as they arrive and put 50/50 towards emergency fund and any leftover interest-accruing debt.


DD is in nursery tomorrow so will do the jobs around the house in the morning, then aim to spend the afternoon getting things on eBay and FB selling groups - hopefully that will bring in a few extra pennies.


Will text my parents now to see if they want to head over this afternoon - the more I help them out with getting their finances in order now, the less I'll have to bail them out in the future and the sooner they can pay me back. DH has also offered to help them out with getting some jobs done around their house at the weekend, so hopefully that will improve things for them.

Aaleigha

Just2Ashamed wrote: »

Okay, in an attempt to post more regularly and stay on top of things, here we go!


Have juggled some pennies around and closed some old credit cards and bank accounts - reducing temptation and available credit.


Need to get back to a friend today, she sent me a message out of the blue offering to pay back £200 she's owed me for a few years now, so that's nice I'd pretty much written it off at this stage tbh.


DH was paid today so made sure the rent was paid, then reduced his OD by £100, bringing that debt down too.


Expecting a couple of cheques for small amounts for credit balances that were in accounts I've recently closed, will run those up to the bank as soon as they arrive and put 50/50 towards emergency fund and any leftover interest-accruing debt.


DD is in nursery tomorrow so will do the jobs around the house in the morning, then aim to spend the afternoon getting things on eBay and FB selling groups - hopefully that will bring in a few extra pennies.


Will text my parents now to see if they want to head over this afternoon - the more I help them out with getting their finances in order now, the less I'll have to bail them out in the future and the sooner they can pay me back. DH has also offered to help them out with getting some jobs done around their house at the weekend, so hopefully that will improve things for them.

you have a great plan now and some great news re some of the money coming in

you will soon be on top of this but ANY addiction is hard to fight on your own - unless you drop right out of society and take some time out - that was the only way I could kick smoking - I went to stay with a friend who lives 2 miles from the nearest house and 5 miles from the nearest shop - I took no tech with me - she had a phone if I need it - and with her help and support I did it - but for most people that is not an option - have you spoken to your doctor could they suggest groups for you to join - the local library and CA might have lists - just phone them you dont have to give your name no one will know its you - just as we dont know its you but want to support you
keep an eye on you siggy and keep it up to date so we can all celebrate the little steps with you

would it help you to do a 100 square of each debt and as you do one percent of each paid off you can cross off a square that might give you some visual of how you are doing - visuals help some people - I did paper clips I added one paper clip to a chain for every 20 pound I paid off and just watched it grow

Just2Ashamed

Some good ideas there Aaleigha, thanks, I'll give them some serious thought and maybe give one or two a go to see what works for me.


Semi productive afternoon here:


Had mum and dad over to continue chipping away on some of their financial issues - am going to devote a big chunk of Monday to this as Mum wants a hand with a new job application and their council tax situation urgently needs sorting.


Speaking of which, I need to send an email to the council myself as they've made a bit of an error and I need to get it sorted sooner rather than later. Seen as they're not answering on the number they asked me to contact them on it would seem that email is the way forward.


I had a letter from our water company this afternoon, good news for once! They've read the meter and it turns out we've been overpaying. They're sending a rebate of just over £100 and our monthly DD will be reduced by £10, all good news


Sent a return message to my friend so hopefully she will repay the money I lent her soon, that will help to get to another 1%


All in all, pretty positive. Having a relaxing night tonight ready to crack on with a productive day tomorrow. Hope all the other moneysavers are well and looking forward to a fun-filled but thrifty weekend

Aaleigha

that sounds like a really positive day
and it also sounds like you are far happier in yourself

just keep chipping away at the debt it might help to see it in percentage terms perhaps overall and perhaps individually

does anyone in RL know about this or is it only us you have for support - if it is only us I do urge you to find a support group as they will be so important to you

Hxx

Just2Ashamed

I've been chipping away at things and have started using YNAB to try to get things more under control. It's good to have a plan going forward but it's made me realise how tight things are! We can't afford for the debts to get any higher, and could really do with a boost in income, so more searching for things to sell. Not yet heard anything back from my friend, but given that I'd written the debt off in my mind anyway, it'll be a bonus whenever it turns up.


DH has got an interview for a new job with a significant pay rise - as much as the money would be lovely, I really hope he gets it for his own happiness, I think he'll enjoy it much more than his current role. Hopefully we'll find out by the end of next week I'm also due for some cashback soon from changing broadband supplier which along with a few other things will be another 1%