Gambling / Hoarding / Debt / Depression

Just2Ashamed

Real, tangible progress has been made in the house thanks to the wonderful flyladies and hoarding thread. There's really only 2 bedrooms that are an issue now, although one of them is the room of doom! A few items have been eBayed out of the door, and we're doing a carboot on Sunday so hopefully that will help with both money and decluttering. Financially, things are slow but progress is happening:

Capital One: £450
Vanquis: £1700
Overdraft: £1850

Total: £4000 (20% down, woohoo :j)

kissjenn

Hello.

You've knocked 20% off your debt in under two weeks.

That's amazing. Well done.

It sounds like you know now when things "feel" wrong and to ask for help. You can't know that until you've been through it and acquired the scars so to speak. See it for what it is, a valuable life lesson.

It takes great strength to admit you need a hand, you should feel proud and strong. You'll be a great mum with that attitude.

KJ x

HOK3Y

Just2Ashamed wrote: »

Real, tangible progress has been made in the house thanks to the wonderful flyladies and hoarding thread. There's really only 2 bedrooms that are an issue now, although one of them is the room of doom! A few items have been eBayed out of the door, and we're doing a carboot on Sunday so hopefully that will help with both money and decluttering. Financially, things are slow but progress is happening:

Capital One: £450
Vanquis: £1700
Overdraft: £1850

Total: £4000 (20% down, woohoo :j)

Oh my goodness!! That's absolutely amazing!! :j:j:j Very well done indeed and keep it going......you'll be debt free before next week at this rate!

Butti

Hi Just 2

Very well done on your progress...you are brill.

I would like you, maybe with the help of the hoarding forum, to work out what your gambling and clutter and hoarding does for you and what alternative strategies you can employ to deal with these feelings of loneliness and what I think is issues of self-esteem and possibly some depression. The hoarding and gambling will have a function for you and it would be good if you could work out what it is.

A pen aand paper will help and a match or shredder if once you have externalised the feelings will keep the information. You may need professional help through your gp with the above.

trixie888

Just2Ashamed wrote: »

Capital One: £450
Vanquis: £1700
Overdraft: £1850

Total: £4000 (20% down, woohoo :j)

Impressive!! You are good at producing money. I wish I have other means.

Just2Ashamed

Thanks guys for the kind words, the second half of the month will be slower because a lot of the debt reduction from the beginning half of the month has been from making savings in the budget for the month so am looking pretty lean now until the next payday :rotfl: Still, I'm impressed with how quickly it's gone down, helped with things like selling on eBay, writing articles and cutting out unnecessary spends. I can't believe I used to shop at Waitrose, Sainsburys etc - got my shopping for the last couple of weeks from Aldi and our local market, the price difference was unbelievable but if anything the quality was better. I can't believe how much more liveable the house is looking too, there are only really 2 rooms that are an issue (although one is HORRENDOUS) and this alone has improved my mood and motivation no end. I'm still getting low days (today is one) but it's not to the same extent and I don't feel the same self-destructive compulsions I used to.

Butti, I am supposed to be having some CBT but have been advised to wait until after the baby's born as I had quite an upsetting and traumatic childhood and whilst it shouldn't raise any issues, they can't guarantee it wouldn't make my mood lower - which they're obviously not keen on during pregnancy. To be honest, I have a reasonably good understanding of where most of my behaviour comes from, and this can help with my determination to change it - I don't see why me struggling through a !!!!!! time as a child should mean I have create the same for myself as an adult.

Trixie, I just finished reading your diary, it's really lovely that you're being motivated by your LO. Is there no other way you could boost your income? The 'up your income' board on here has loads of good ideas and whilst they may not be huge earners, every little helps.

beanielou

Hardly slow progress at 20% in two weeks.
Awesome I think I woud say.

sammr85

Wow, well done on your fantastic achievement. A massive £1000 paid off in so little time is amazing. Congratulations. So you messed up. Big deal, we've all messed up before. You can see what you've done as a mistake and your making great strides to fix it. Well done. and well done for admitting it.

I will be following you on your journey, looking forward to your progress x

Just2Ashamed

It's pay day on Friday and I'm actually excited to see the numbers go down - I'm such a sad case :rotfl:

Just2Ashamed

Well, as some of you may have guessed from the silence, I fell off the wagon HARD. Things have been very bad here - I became very depressed and my 'friends' on the gambling sites helped. Things have been very rocky in my marriage and I've been living on/off as essentially a single parent for a few months. Things have improved between myself and DH now, but the gambling absolutely can't go on, so today I have finally downloaded the software to block all gambling-related sites from my laptop. I had hoped I would have the strength to just stay away, but I've proven that I don't so the software should help to at least stop the debts growing further.

I'm so embarrassed about my behaviour and have had some very low moments where I have seriously contemplated ending my own life, but I have a daughter now and she needs me so I need to forget about myself and my shame and get on with sorting this for her. She's absolutely wonderful and simultaneously makes me feel so happy, but so ashamed of myself. I stupidly took on even more credit in an attempt to 'sort' things and stay afloat financially, but needless to say I've just used these to continually fund the gambling I honestly can't fully get my head around how stupid and selfish I've been.

Current debts (big intake of breath)

CC1 £2564
CC2 £1300
CC4 £1000
CC3 £900
Overdraft £500


Total £6264

Progress will not be as fast as last time either due to maternity pay and much higher expenses. Still, at least now the debts won't be getting worse and I can start to make improvements, even if they're slow at first.