This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

Nice tip. Thank you.

Was looking for something in the office. I have two three drawer filing cabinets, one was a drawer used by me and the ex so I was not surprised he had gone through it and removed "his" stuff.  Slightly annoyed that some of mine is missing but I expected that.  The others are business and are badly filed at that. I had hidden some papers under the files of research papers and in amongst the research papers.   I find those are gone.  Now that took a lot of looking, he must literally have had to go through every single research paper well filed and those hapazadly filed and replace.  

The one that surprised me the most was the WattyDog file which was bunged in with the research papers.  I opened it to find a copy of a direct debit which should have been in another drawer.

Sneaky.   Goodness I am glad he is gone.

Watty1

The second planning consultant came back yesterday and we have chatted and he is coming out next week so I can meet him and then I will decide what firm to go with.  Am feeling very positive about this. During the research of last year I was excited but it all seemed a dream.  Now I am just feeling positive that i have a long term plan that might work.  

Humdinger1

And you do @Watty1! Exciting times love Humdinger xx 

daisy_1571

Ex behaviour is really shocking and quite disgusting (I know you know that).  Being a decent human being myself, i am constantly surprised at bad behaviour, people being rotten or obstructive for no good reason that I can see, rudeness,  sneakiness,  etc etc.  Hope its stuff you had copies of (or it was incorrect stuff you had planted) and it won't cause you trouble to replace.   See i can be vicious, nasty, sneaky etc too, hahahaha but, like most people, I wouldn't do it first, and not without real provocation.   I think your ex falls completely into that category.  I choose to believe he is in the minority and that most people are nice. 

Daisy xx

FloppyDisk

Hi Watty, so glad you are safe in your home and able to see the debris left behind but know that it is just a case of putting everything back together how you like it. Im sure you will find more signs of his meddling but he can't do any more damage.  Are you all sorted with the mortgage?  Maybe it's time for a new signature?  

Oh and I had a separate line in my spreadsheet for my horse, double what my mortgage cost me.... oops. 

Watty1

@FloppyDisk I couldn't get a mortgage on the combined account of being self employed, my age and the fact the ex has an overage agreement on the land and very few lenders will accept that.  Three brokers outright refused to even look when they heard of the overage agreement, one my accountant suggested said he thought it was possible but at a higher rate and wanted £1750 to look. Finally i remembered someone i used to ride with and she did find me a mortgage but at a rate 3x higher than she was used to achieving and her recommendation was "do not take it".

For this reason I am selling him half the property that we rent out and that I thought was mine (never again will I believe what a man says).   The sensible thing to do would have been to sell it and stick the money into a pension plan but I decided to just sell to him and use it to buy him out of here.    I am still short so will use all my savings to pay him off and borrow from the bank to pay the capital gains tax.

I often wake in the night wondering if this is a sensible plan, but, it is my plan!

Watty1

Stove renovation update:   After advice I realised the ashpan was really bent and that was why it didn't close properly so the tray inside has to be replaced, I'm just waiting for that to arrive.  A mechanic cut it free from the original as the metal screws that held it in place were fused and I have new screws to add it all together on the way too.   

Purchased a small tin of stove polish, removed the rust with a very find grade wire wool and polished.   OMG  I love the stove now. It looks so different, it is gorgeous now rather than the sad looking thing there before.  Very happy.

daisy_1571

I've reread your 12 June post as I cant quite work it out - did you get the whole rental property and you are selling him half?  Did you each get half the rental property and you are selling him your half so he will have it outright ?

It sounds like scenario 1 but I cant see you voluntarily tying yourself to sharing the ins and outs of a rental property with him.  Even with the incentive of raising the funds to do the work you want to do. 

Dxx 

Watty1

Hi @daisy_1571   

The private financial dispute resolution found the evidence was not clear enough that I had paid for the rental property so the law must be followed.  At this point we therefore each own half of the rental property and half of the cottage.  It also ruled i was intelligent so should have know the law and that every time I paid a chunk of the mortgage I was effectively giving him half if the relationship collapsed.   (I am still shocked that the judge could come out with such crap!)

I am selling him my half of the rental property so he will own it all.  This gives me some of the money I need to buy his half of the cottage.  The remainder I need (as the cottage is worth more) will need to come from savings and some fast footwork on my credit card and on being frugal as I move forwards.    This isn't about raising funds to do the work I want, this is just about buying my home mortgage free.

I presume the sale of both properties will go through this month, although there has been a last minute hitch as he tried to get me to transfer the properties without sorting out the small remaining mortgage.   I've stopped paying the mortgage on the grounds the property should have transferred a couple of months ago.  The delay has only been caused by him hoping he could side step the mortgage issue and leave it with me.   I'm sure regular readers are rolling their eyes at that!

daisy_1571

Got you, thank you for clarifying (which of course you never need to do, don't feel pressure) I understand and am also outraged on your behalf.   We had similar where the financial ombudsman ruled we (as complete lay people) should have spotted and understood something the h@!if@x did wrong on our mortgage.  They seemed to think we should have understood the technical language and spotted the difference between one technical word and another very similar technical word.  Like you i was gobsmacked and incensed.  Sometimes it feels like these places that should be helpful to the general public are actually against us.

Anyhoo, yes that is annoying in the extreme however once you do it that will be you financially uncoupling for ever.  (Apart from the stupid overage of course).  I'm sorry the funds aren't going towards something more pleasing but in the end I'm sure you'll be happy just to sign on that line, almost literally drawing a line under the whole sorry affair.   You will be able to hold your head up knowing you did your best for the relationship,  yourself,  himself - you were trying to be sensible about the whole sorry mess he caused once you were aware of it and trying to save both of you time money and heartache whilst he was f@nnying around causing headaches and time wasting,  eventually this behaviour will tell more on him than you - and can move forward lighter in the world.   Just a little bit more and hopefully it will be over.

I'm slightly concerned at your idea you will never trust a man's word again  - keep your guard up by all means but distrust equally!!  Its not related to the sexes, its all people that can fool ya.

Keep on keeping on watty

Daisy xx