Please Help.

nicp60

I would second tallyhoh in saying that selling your house shouldn't be necessary. Not only that, but it could just create more upheaval for your family.

You can do this without selling up - you'll just be more creative!

Deep_In_Debt

AlexLK wrote: »

Two of the credit cards are with debt collectors, I will ring them tomorrow and see what I can do as far as a full and final settlement goes. Will the original banks also accept a reduced final settlement?

I really wouldn't suggest calling the DCA's...write to them and start low, say 30% as they buy the debts for pennies in the £ so even 30% will be a good mark up for them - expect a bit of to'ing and fro'ing though. But seriously, keep negotiations in writing and that way you will have their confirmation that they will not sell on the remainder of the debt. Check out the National Debtline website for a good template letter you can use for this purpose and send it recorded delivery.

The original creditors are unlikely to accept less than the full amount - it may be worth stopping paying them and waiting until they sell the debt on to a DCA and then negotiate if you feel comfortable doing that.

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/debt_advice.php#6

theoretica

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

AlexLK wrote: »

Two of the credit cards are with debt collectors, I will ring them tomorrow and see what I can do as far as a full and final settlement goes. Will the original banks also accept a reduced final settlement?

I really wouldn't suggest calling the DCA's...write to them and start low, say 30% as they buy the debts for pennies in the £ so even 30% will be a good mark up for them - expect a bit of to'ing and fro'ing though. But seriously, keep negotiations in writing and that way you will have their confirmation that they will not sell on the remainder of the debt. Check out the National Debtline website for a good template letter you can use for this purpose and send it recorded delivery.

The original creditors are unlikely to accept less than the full amount - it may be worth stopping paying them and waiting until they sell the debt on to a DCA and then negotiate if you feel comfortable doing that.

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/debt_advice.php#6

I would advise you to sell your collection first - if they accept your offer it is likely to be time limited and you will want the money on hand. I have no idea how long it takes to sell such items for a decent price.

LannieDuck

Hope the discussion with your wife goes well. I know I promised to see if I could help some more this evening, but I think it's probably best to wait to hear where you're at after your talk.

AlexLK

Before I start, I just want to say thank you very much for all your help. The debts had been weighing on my mind for such a long time and I thought I was in the worse position anyone could ever find themselves in. I realise this is not the case from reading some other posts on here and from my wife this evening explaining why she was so angry with me; she grew up in a family that were always in constant money trouble.

We are both sat here currently, trying to go through our finances and work out what we can do towards firstly clearing our debts and secondly getting on with our lives. Mrs. K has assured me her spending was more a reaction to mine than anything else and she seems a lot more clued up on how to live to a budget than I am. So, we can hopefully move forward.

We are truly grateful for every reply I have received on here thus far.

In response:

nicp - thank you, we will use the snowball calculator and Mrs K. says was surprised I actually wanted to do something about this!

tallyhoh - I thought about the house going as it needs quite a bit of work doing to it. However, Mrs K. pointed out that we'd probably struggle to get another mortgage now so that looks like another thing we've got to save up for - getting the house right. My collections will take a while to sell and my wife has agreed to sell some of her jewellery collection too.

wegle - I will look into the 1% challenge, thank you for your help.

Deep in Debt and theoretica - That certainly gives me something to think about and 30%?! That is less than I originally spent on the CCs, well no body ever got anywhere without trying, did they? Thank you for the advice re. not calling them. I will draft a letter tomorrow but not start sending them until some money is coming through.

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

Hope the discussion with your wife goes well. I know I promised to see if I could help some more this evening, but I think it's probably best to wait to hear where you're at after your talk.

Thank you for all your help, we still need it but my wife and I are getting somewhere at least.

Something else we are talking about is for me to dedicate some of the time I am home into trying to earn a little more from buying and selling things I am knowledgeable about / can refurbish. Fortunately, liking old things one often learns skills in mending them too.

For the first time in ages I feel I've got something to look forward to in the future instead of reminiscing on the past and bitterly looking back thinking that "things are not what they used to be".

wegle

I'm glad things are going in the right direction. Just look at how far you have come from the start of this thread. You now have the starlings of a great plan of action and you're wife is on board and willing to do what she can to help. This has all happened over the course of a couple of days, just think where you'll be in a month or a years time?

I've not had any dealings with DCAs, but from what I've read on here you must keep everything in writing and make sure you get proof of delivery for any letters you send.

Whilst its a great move that you and your wife are looking at things you can sell don't lose sight of how you got into this positn which was spending beyond your means, a priority for the both of you is to draw up a realistic and manageable household budget. You've already had some great advice from others on where to start, and have made some suggestions yourself. Now is the time for you and your wife to get it set in stone.

As ever, I'm sending you positive vibes and good wishes. Xx

nicp60

You're really on the right path - and very much in it together by the sounds of things.

If it's any consolation, the years that DH and I had together on one wage of £1400 a month, trying to clear £10k of debt and having to run 2 cars were actually filled with some amazing memories. I attribute some of our amazing closeness to those hours and hours of drinking cheapo vodka and playing cards, chess or Lego Indiana Jones on the Wii for hours (best £30 ever spent!). More often than not in the semi-dark for 'ambience' (actually to keep our utility bills as low as possible but we pretended otherwise).

Your journey probably won't be easy, but I'm sure you can turn it into something extremely positive and you'll never be in this situation again.

Readytobefree

I have been reading your thread this evening and have been waiting to hear the update. So pleased to hear you are both back on board with this together. It looks as though this can all be worked out with some hard work. You must feel so relieved. I can understand how your wife has worries due to her past but she sounds savvy enough to help you both through this. I wish you all the best on your journey and hope you come back stronger and happier for it.

wegle

AlexLK wrote: »

For the first time in ages I feel I've got something to look forward to in the future instead of reminiscing on the past and bitterly looking back thinking that "things are not what they used to be".

This is really important and probably one of your best realisations on this thread. Debt is hard, it is a struggle at times, but ultimately by addressing it and dealing with it you are on the path to a better life filled with new experiences and new opportunities. We can't change our pasts but we have every say in how our future unfolds. :beer: