Gambler. Down And Out Now.

OneWay_2

Hi All,

Long time lurker here but never registered and posted.

I'm 24 years old and have had a serious gambling problem. I was helped out by family a couple of years ago but fell back into the slippery one way slope. I am now at a point that I cannot see ANY way out. I feel constantly depressed, anxious, nervous and have some very, very dark thoughts.

My current state of affairs is as below:

DEBTOR MONTHLY BALANCE
Rent £100 N/A
Debt Stop Direct (1) £80 £16000
Friend Loan £230 £1380
Credit Card (2) £70 £280
Friend Loan (3) £?? £500
Petrol £170 N/A
PoundsToPocket £65 £715
Credit Card (4) £30 £210
Credit Card (5) £150 £3600
RAC £8 N/A
Phone Insurance £6 N/A
Friend Loan £120 £2000
Mobile £45 N/A

Total £1074 £24685

I also have the following payday loans:

Vivus (£120)
QuickQuid (£850)
Zebit (£700)
Wonga (£350)
MiniCredit (£100)
Quid.co.uk (380)


I have a monthly income of £1400. Basically, I feel absolutely screwed and can't see ANY way out now. I have let down so many friends and family that have trusted me and helped me and just as I was getting back on my feet I have screwed up again. I have the following problems as noted above:

1) I originally got in a lot of debt in my dads name (credit cards) and I was lucky that not only did he not boot me out of his home but he helped me set up a debt repayment plan and took a big hit on his credit rating.

2) This is some additional debt on a credit card in my dads name.

3) I didn't set a repayment schedule on this but borrowed it several months ago and desperately need to repay my friend.

4) This is a credit card for the band I play in that we pay towards some equipment with, so not in my name

5) This is a credit card set up by my brother to help me out so in his name.



The only option I can see right now is to default on all of the payday loans when they become due next week. I have just today sent off my DMP with StepChange for all of these but from what I've read I am highly sceptical that these companies will accept these. Also, StepChange want £280 a month from me which wipes out my remaining balance until I can repay some of my other debts.

I know I'm a complete and utter p*ss-taking failure that's taken so many chances and still ruined things. I don't say this for pity I say it because I know it's the truth and I want people to recognise that before I start getting a slagging off. But if anybody could offer any advice or thoughts, particularly on the DMP with the PDL companies?

thankyou in advance.

lizzy23

all your debt should be included if you're setting up a DMP

OneWay_2

I have included everything that is in my name with them, and told them about the personal debts, however they have allocated less per month to the personal debts than I have agreed to pay people.

Muhren

I know how you must be feeling right now as I have been there myself, feeling like there is nowhere else to turn but trust me there is.

Have you thought about going to gamblers anonymous, I started going when I had exhausted all avenues of credit, borrowed from my friends and family, sold things to fund my gambling and had no money left at all. I have not had a bet in nearly 9 months, although my debts are still massive, now that I am dealing with my gambling, everything feels so much easier as I am not worrying where the next bit of money is coming from to pay a bill or my mortgage.

I can't help on the DMP front has I haven't gone down that route but just wanted to say that you can turn this around. I have heard some terrible stories at GA and people have managed to sort their lives out.

If you want to pm me to ask me anything feel free and I will try and help in anyway I can. Remember you CAN resolve this.

OneWay_2

Thanks for your reply Muhren. If the debts were all in my name I would feel so much better tackling it, it's the fact that it's family and friends. Including one who helped me out only a week ago and I've fallen off that cliff again and completely undone the help he gave me.

I am planning to go to GA, my local meeting is on a friday night, tonight I am meant to be going for a meal for my Dads birthday. I either cancel and feel terrible, or go to the meal but sit there in agony and despair.

Muhren

Is there only one meeting in your area then?

One of the best things that I did was come clean to my friends and family, it was one of the hardest things that I have done but once they know the situation they will be more inclined to help you out, that was my experience anyway. You might get some abuse to start with (I was fortunate that my mates were understanding) but as they will know that you have an issue, by going to GA you will be showing them that you are doing somethng about your problem.

As for going to you Dad's birthday meal or not, I personally would go, you will probably feel like complete crap and people will probably tell that there is something wrong. You could use this as an excuse to bring up your problems with your family the next day and get it all out in the open.

As for GA there is a chat room on the website that you could use until you get to your first meeting.

sharp82

Hang in there mate!

I agree with the above posters, coming clean is the only way that people will understand/help.

They will be angry and disappointed to begin with, but provided you show them you are taking steps to overcome this they will be supportive.

In addition to the GA meetings, have you self excluded from all the gambling sites? Also install this - http://www.gamblock.com/

Muhren

There is another option that I use which is K9 which is free to download, you will have to get someone to put in a password for you so you can't access it: http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

Muhren

So what did you decide to do last night then OneWay, and how did it go?

Stewart_78

OneWay, whatever you do about your debt issue, the gambling is a far bigger problem. If you can't sort that you will be back here time and again. Good luck with the debts but you need to sort your gambling as highest priority. Get some help, it's there for you and I'm sure you are not alone. We all need help from time to time, go get some ASAP.

theoretica

OneWay wrote: »

I have a monthly income of £1400.
Rent £100 N/A
Petrol £170 N/A http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/cheaper-fuel
RAC £8 N/A http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/car-insurance/breakdown-cover
Phone Insurance £6 N/A [£72 a year? You can get a cheapo phone off ebay for less than this if yours is lost]
Mobile £45 N/A [How soon until the contract ends and you can reduce?]

Also, StepChange want £280 a month from me which wipes out my remaining balance until I can repay some of my other debts.

What else do you NEED to buy? Food? Car insurance? That will let you work out how much you can put towards your debt. (The point of a truthful budget is exactly to wipe out all your remaining balance, but it has to include everything you need, not everything you want.)

Can you bring in more money (busking perhaps, as you are in a band).