Gambler. Down And Out Now.

castortroy31

Hi there,

I didn't want to read and run really.. as the situation sounds exactly like the one I was in about a year ago.

I too had PDL's to fund my gambling habit and around about 12 of them.. on top of that I had issues with the tax man too since I had my own limited company.

I was being paid weekly and would spend the whole lot on the Friday night and then basically live off credit for the rest of the week, my health suffered although funnily enough my work didnt I guess I saw it as a way of solice away from the gambling...

Things came to ahead when my dad checked an ISA which we had in our name and he saw that there was no money left in the account... he jumped in the car and confronted me about things straight away.. I couldnt keep it from him or my mum anymore... I told them everything... they were furious....

my dad flew off the handle.. he screamed yelled at me and told me that if it was anyone else he would have left them in the gutter. I was so lucky that they helped me clear all of the loans... that was their life savings... I feel so ashamed of the whole thing getting out of control.

you have to tell people otherwise it will eat you up inside... trust me on that point.

On a more practical level, for the gambling side of things.

1-Casino- You can get self exclusions from most casino's now so do that straight away.

2- Bookies - Scurge of the high street and also as much as they try to say they help problem gamblers out they really dont... ever notice the free tournaments they have and the advertising on their shop fronts? You can self excluded from these also. I would suggest doing this for all the ones near your work and home.

3-online- yep probably easiest one of the three to do.. i believe its just filling in a form for this.. you can get software to block access as well.

The biggest points you must remember if you have to gamble:

1- you can never win long term....

2- always walk away with some money if you start winning something

3- never put the money back into the system... at least buy yourself something, a meal, nice watch etc...

4- never chase your losses... know what you can be prepared to lose.

5- lastly it was your choice to gamble and no one elses... you had that choice. Dont lose your temper

Lynsey

Sorry for trying to butt in, but on the gambling side this may be of interest.

A friend of my hubby lost everything a good few years ago due to gambling - business, house, marriage - the lot.
He attended GA and one of the things they brought up and may be an option if you are struggling to refrain from gambling, is to become your own Bookie. I thought it was ingenious.
Yes, start off with a pot and place the bets with yourself.
So put £5 on that horse and if it loses, your "loss" goes in the pot.
If it wins, take out the money from the pot and buy yourself something (if possible).
Generally you will lose overall, so that pot will get bigger and bigger, but you won't lose as your money will be in that pot. The idea I suppose is to show how much you have saved.
So, instead of sending that Bookie on holidays and paying for them, take yourself on holiday.
Obviously won't work on all types of gambling and not everyone will have the willpower to take on the "challenge" as I suppose the "thrill" is the "buzz".
BTW - it didn't work for him (he still has that illness), but has worked for others. He does understand the sense though, just can't put it in place.
Sad, though the Bookies are enjoying their holidays (paid for) no doubt!!

Again, sorry for butting in and good luck to all gamblers and those that have money issues caused by gambling and from other issues.
I wish you all well.

Lynsey

OneWay_2

Hi Everybody,

Thanks for the encouraging posts and comments. Would like to reply in more detail but I am just rushing out, but before I did I just wanted to acknowledge all the replies and thank you.

Things seem to be progressing OK setting up the DMP, I have just sent some final details to StepChange. Wonga have instantly agreed to freeze all charges/interest, and not to attempt any recollections for the next 38 days whilst the plan is set up :T

It also looks like I will JUST have enough to meet the repayments on the loans this payday (thursday) which should keep the creditors happy whilst the plan is set up (I think? can anybody advise on this). The month when it would really get tricky is NEXT payday when all of the repayments ramp up (e.g. the QQ loan goes from £45 to £145! Plus the first Zebit loan instalment of £145 is due). So I think it will serve me well not to default yet, but then have the payment plan in place before the next ones are due. Can anybody comment if I'm right on this.

I have also been spending time on the GamCare & GA forums/chatrooms which helps and I am hoping to attend a GA meeting soon.

The bad news...still trying to pluck up courage to speak to friends and/or family

Cheers

Oneway x

hand2mouth

I just wanted to say 'well done' for posting on this board - I know that it really is not easy to do.

I would like to pass on the following couple of bits of advice if I may?

If you log into this website you will find hundreds and thousands of people who understand exactly what you are going through and are willing to listen, share and support you. I urge you to taks a look around some of the Forums.

OOps - was unable send this with the link - basically look up the Gamcare website and navigate to Forums.

Gamcare also have a Helpline and you can speak to someone. Perhaps you could do this and talk through how you might tell your family what's been going on as that is obviously a huge step for you to take. But an important one because you will need people who care about you to help you manage the money situation.

There is an organisation operating where I live called 'Breakeven' and they offer 1-2-1 counselling for people with gambling problems. You could try and find out if they operate in your area?

I'm sure you will pick up more info on any local support options on the Gamcare forums.

You will find loads of advice about debt re-payment plans on this site and on the Gamcare site. Don't worry about your repayments being less than creditors have stated - once you have help to get it sorted properly all these companies are bound by law to accept 'reasonable' and frequent payments. You will find that they will recognise and work with the established DRP. DON'T pay a private DRP company. They will not ofer you anything a free plan does not and they will often set repayments unrealistically high so their % will be more.

Finally, the only company I know who will not be reasonable and are to be dealt with extremely cautiously are MINICREDIT (AKA MICROCREDIT). If there is anyway you can get rid of them as a creditor, do so asap.

I wish you all the very best with your struggle.

Take care,

Upsidedown_Bear

hand2mouth wrote: »

OOps - was unable send this with the link - basically look up the Gamcare website and navigate to Forums.

Link here
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/index.php

Muhren

Hope things are looking up OneWay?

Just something else I wanted to mention. I have a new phone which now has internet access and have put a parental control on so I can't get onto any gambling websites. Although it seems to block every site I try to go on regardless if it has 18+ content or not, which is a bit frustrating but I am going to have to live with it. It's just something else for you to consider.

Off to GA tonight I hope?! I am chairing my meeting tomorrow, something that seemed incomprehensible when I first walked through the doors at GA. Try to remember that, as you could soon be doing it yourself!

OneWay_2

Hi All,

Many thanks for taking the time to check back, that's very kind

Unfortunately I won't be going tonight as I am heading down South to see my Uncle and have a chat. He knows the basics of what the problem is but not the full story. Having a beer in front of us should help me get it out a bit easier

Regarding the GamCare meeting there is one in another area close to me on Wednesdays that will be more convenient for me (almost pass it on my way home from work) so next Wednesday will be the day!

Cheers

OneWay

System

Stay strong - remember that you are working through your issues now. Hope you managed to have a chat and it helped x

Monkeyballs

Hi OneWay,

It sounds as though you are well on your way now with counselling and a DMP being put in place.

I'm in the same boat as you only a few months down the line, I actually did self exclusion from my normal haunts almost a year ago and have been seeing a counsellor which Gamcare set me up with for around the same time and while you will miss the buzz and feel awkward to begin with it does get easier so hang tight!

With regards to the DMP, first month is hard because you are expecting the worst and for the next couple of months you will get the odd call and letter but everyone should back off when you tell them about your plan and that it is with StepChange and give them a ref. but for peace of mind its with calling StepChange after dealing to your creditor as it will give you some comfort that it is actually in hand.

Hang tight, it gets easier.