Real-life MMD: Should we pay vet's bill for the cat our neighbour stole from us?

eadieb

I apologise for this personal vent but the subject has triggered a particular issue of mine.

My 80 year old mother does this to her neighbours cats frequently! I live 200 miles away from her so can have no regular input into her activities, however, she has been known to acquire at least 8 cats over the last 10 years, in this same way. Invariably the cats go through her back garden and stumble across several bowls of cat food left outside her door. she then has a further 6 or 7 bowl of food in her garage and leaves the door open so animals can come inside and she has a cat flap tied open (she believes cats can't push open the flap).

So invariably many cats come in and out of her house all day and night and she views this to be because they are all starving and mistreated. When we visit her she frequently has 6 or 7 bowls of food downstairs and many more upstairs. Eventually the cats become so fat they cant fit back through the cat flap! I have had distressed telephone calls from her because a neighbour keeps coming round to ask for their cat back and she has it hidden in a bedroom.

The cats like my mums house because it is quiet, no dogs, no children and a daily 'all you can eat' buffet. Often the cats are old and seek a quieter home. the problems arise because she does not talk to her neighbours about the various animals, and makes assumptions about their home life. we have had to help her deal with situations when the cats have needed to go to the vets and she refuses to take them because a) she is disabled and finds it difficult to take them b) she thinks the vet will find out the cat does not belong to her c) she is on a limited pension. However, she spends a vast amount of money on the most expensive cat food (much of which is thrown away) and on my last visit to her I found she was feeding one of them waitrose chicken.

we have spent years and years trying to reason with her and resolve this ongoing problem. On some occasions she has insisted a cat is a stray and i have got her to put a collar on the cat with her phone no. on it asking for the owner to contact her. When they do she calms down on the feeding of them. I tried suggesting she act as an official foster carer for Cats protection league, but she does not view her behaviour as wrong. she never believes she has taken over ownership of the cats and wouldn't know what a microchip is and would not voluntarily try to find out who the owner is.

my suggestion to any owner whose cat seems to be spending a lot of time elsewhere is to put a collar on (even temporarily as I know there are issues with them) with the details on an easily readable disc. (the ones with paper inside are too fiddly for some elderly people to open). and if the situation continues, then politely confront the person who the cat seems to have moved into and finalise the situation there and then, and in particular about the vets fees. I would probably follow up the conversation with a letter confirming it and offering them a few weeks to come back to you if they change their mind.

alwayswrite

I think this 'old lady' is playing 'a fast one' on you as some do and I can say this because some would consider me an old lady but I wouldn't do this to anyone. If she didn't want the cat in the first place she should have returned it or attempted to return it to you when it decided to adopt her. Just remember she has had all the pleasure and unfortunately pleasure has to be paid for. Think about this, would someone who has adopted a child look for the biological parent when bills come in i.e. costs of sending the child to university.

tallgirld

She's a cat thief! Damn cheek. No I would not pay the bill. There must be a free vet for poor people. Surely?

star2000

I had a neighbour a few streets away from me "steal" one of my cats a few years ago. I was furious. My cat only went there because she was very greedy and they kept feeding her, while the vet was telling me she needed to lose weight and I was limiting her food. She had a collar and tag on with all my contact details and eventually they rang me when they had kept her for 3 months and I hadn't seen her in all that time. I tried to bring her home but other than locking her in the house for the rest of her life which she was extremely distressed by it was impossible, as the minute she went outside she ran away to their house again. Eventually we agreed that they would adopt her and I transferred all her paperwork etc but I was very upset.

I think people who feed other people's cats and encourage them to stay with them when they are clearly well looked after and owned by someone else are totally irresponsible and yes it is like theft. You would not give food and a home to someone else's child just because they looked appealingly at you and asked for some sweets! The old lady is totally responsible for her behaviour and the consequences of it which means that she now owns the cat and should pay the vet's bill. If anything she should be giving the owner compensation for stealing their cat to begin with! :mad:

wildthing01

correct me if i'm wrong (and i'm sure many will!) but i seem to remember something in law that says cats are not like dogs in that they are considered 'free spirits' and so their owners can't be held responsible for their actions (like say if a dog bit someone). if this is the case, then technically i'd say there is no ownership and so no theft. the cat made the choice.

I'd probably look at the individual circumstances in this case - is the lady vulnerable and/or lonely? many older people have few people to talk to - perhaps the cat has been valuable companionship for her, given her a reason to get out of bed in the morning? perhaps she has just about been able to afford a few pounds on food, but can't afford the hundreds of pounds of vets fees? perhaps she knows nothing about chipping or pet insurance if she hasn't had a pet before. if so, i'd probably pay the fees, or if i couldn't afford it, help her to contact the PDSA. i don't think i could leave a cat that i used to love to suffer because i was cross at another human.

Glad_eye

wildthing01 wrote: »

correct me if i'm wrong (and i'm sure many will!) but i seem to remember something in law that says cats are not like dogs in that they are considered 'free spirits' and so their owners can't be held responsible for their actions (like say if a dog bit someone). if this is the case, then technically i'd say there is no ownership and so no theft. the cat made the choice.

I'd probably look at the individual circumstances in this case - is the lady vulnerable and/or lonely? many older people have few people to talk to - perhaps the cat has been valuable companionship for her, given her a reason to get out of bed in the morning? perhaps she has just about been able to afford a few pounds on food, but can't afford the hundreds of pounds of vets fees? perhaps she knows nothing about chipping or pet insurance if she hasn't had a pet before. if so, i'd probably pay the fees, or if i couldn't afford it, help her to contact the PDSA. i don't think i could leave a cat that i used to love to suffer because i was cross at another human.

The lady is very able & has an active social & family life! She's a very nice lady. However, when a neighbour told her (some years ago) who the cat belonged to she made no attempt to contact us. We didn't know at that point who was feeding him. Anyway, we gave her the details of a pet charity, we offered to take to him to the vet if she could get him into the cat basket (he's well feisty), we paid half of what she paid, we gave her the money to register the cat in her name (something which she's reluctant to do) & we offered to take him to be re-homed but she's decided she wants to keep him! We would NEVER have let him suffer & did all we could to resolve a very difficult situation amicably but we're not a charity so have made it clear we're not paying out again!

Glad_eye

happy2B wrote: »

I think you have to decide what your priorities are - welfare of the cat, ownership or expenditure ?

The priority SHOULD be that the animal does not unduly suffer. Personally, as you are clearly fond of cats and arguably MAY have a responsibility, then providing you have the means, I would agree to foot THIS bill "without prejudice", and deal with the wider issues afterwards.

Whatever the actual legal status, getting lawyers involved would not be to anyone's benefit, either the cost or the animosity. I think legally you probably still have a claim to ownership - though you do not seem bothered about this - and with this go rights AND responsibilities. Though in practise the old lady seems to have assumed ownership AND you seem to have willingly relinquished it. To say she "stole" the cat is, I think, both inflammatory and inaccurate. But I think both of you need some future clarity.

If you simply refuse to pay up, then it would cost her more to fight you for it than it would be worth, so it really is your moral decision to make. I don't think she would ask if she wasn't desperate to do the best for the cat. But why turn it into a battle? Approach it right and you could BOTH benefit from a ready-made cat sitter for when you are away. And if you could agree that if in future she was no longer able to look after it then you would take the cat back, that would give her peace of mind and you the possibly to reunite with it. Win - Win - Win .

I never said 'stole' that was put in by MSE people!! It's very well known that once a cat decides it wants to live elsewhere there's very little you can do to stop it. However, she shouldn't have encouraged him by feeding him. It's not a 'battle', and she agreed with us that it's a difficult situation. We paid half of what she paid out, we gave her the money to register the cat to her, & we offered to take him to a cat charity if she doesn't want him. She's reluctant to let him go & even more reluctant to register him in her name!! He doesn't want to live us, we can't force him to, if you have any suggestions how to persuade him otherwise I'd love to hear them :j

Glad_eye

LittleMonky1982 wrote: »

I agree that you abandoned your cat. Really you should have spoken to your neighbour 6 years ago to tell her to stop feeding her or to make sure that she could afford to look after the cat and maybe come to some sort of arrangement.
The PDSA may be able to help, however I believe that this is your responsibility until an arrangement is formalised.

How much do you know about cats???? A cat choses where it lives! We went to great lengths to try & keep this cat, but we didn't know who was feeding him!! So you see, we didn't "abandon" him, he chose her & left us & his 2 little girl owners!! We did pay the bill, offered to take him to be re-homed, AND gave her the money to register him in her name. She wants to keep him but DOESN'T want to register him in her name!!!

Littlemissteapot

Glad_eye wrote: »

She's reluctant to let him go & even more reluctant to register him in her name!! He doesn't want to live us, we can't force him to, if you have any suggestions how to persuade him otherwise I'd love to hear them :j

You know you can't persuade a cat to live with you! You are trying to solve the wrong problem!!!

Get in touch with whom you registered the microchip. Remove your ownership. Explain that the cat is living with someone else. You don't need to supply her details. It doesn't matter that the lady doesn't want to a registered microchip it's not a requirement for a cat.

You are in this situation because you didn't act in 2006. You had many choices and choose to ignore them. Now act.

MrsPBikerChick

I think you've done far more than you were obliged to in the circumstances. This lady clearly views the cat as hers and doesn't want to give him up, but her reluctance to change the chip details suggests to me some underlying agenda. Perhaps she is not permitted to have pets where she lives and thinks that if he is registered with you she isn't breaking any rules, or perhaps she has seen she can get money out of you once and is keeping her options open.

Either way, you have 2 options:
1) tell her if she does not change the registration by a set date then you will take the cat back and have him rehomed, or
2) call the chip company yourself, explain that the cat now belongs to this lady and that you wish the details to be changed to hers. Then tell her that this has been done. If the chip company won't change to her details then at least make sure they remove you from their records.

Whatever you do, it sounds like you need to be very firm with this woman. She knowingly took in your cat, by the sounds of things depriving children of their pet, and made no attempt to return him to his rightful owners which suggests she fully intended to take over ownership irrespective of his circumstances. That was pretty out of order since she didn't even bother to contact you. To then ask for a contribution to vets bills after 6 years was little more than bare faced cheek. It sounds like she is not afraid to play on her pensioner status when it suits her so make sure she understands that she either takes on full responsibility (including chipping and vets bills) or hands over the cat. No cake and eating it! Be clear that there will be no more money from you irrespective of what reason (excuse) she comes up with in the future.

You mentioned she has family around - perhaps you could try speaking to them as well to encourage her to decide one way or the other.