Do you know your spouses income?

ognum

That's your opinion but for many on this thread and other similar ones, it's not an opinion everyone agrees with. It's not that they can't share everything, they just choose not to. For example, I would feel really bad about going out for the day with girlfriends (fare, meal, drinks, shopping, show etc.) as I do regularly and expecting DH to pay! I use my own money for that.[/QUOTE]

I guess that is the difference with people and relationships, I am happy to go out with girlfriends etc and pay out of our joint pot, I am happy for my husband to do the same. I am happy if he buys stuff for his hobbies, he doesn't care how much I spend on clothes or hairdo's, it all comes from our money.

We have been very poor and we have been comfortable, it has always been our money. Neither of us is extravagant, neither gambles etc etc.

We are content this way and I am happy if you are content your way, whatever works for you, no one is right or wrong as long as it works for both parties in the relationship!

catkins

maman wrote: »

That's your opinion but for many on this thread and other similar ones, it's not an opinion everyone agrees with. It's not that they can't share everything, they just choose not to. For example, I would feel really bad about going out for the day with girlfriends (fare, meal, drinks, shopping, show etc.) as I do regularly and expecting DH to pay! I use my own money for that.

For a lot of us though there is no "own" money. Me and OH have a joint account and have done ever since we got married over 30 years ago. All money we get whether wages, gifts etc goes into the joint account and is our money.

If I or OH want to go out for a meal with friends or buy some clothes etc we do and the other would not object

Umistboy

Wife and I both have full-time jobs. We both keep an identical amount each as "pocket money" that is ours in our own bank accounts. Everything else gets paid into the joint account.

All bills come out of that joint account with lots saved each month too.

I manage all of our finances and wife loves it that way.

Kynthia

I think what this thread shows is that the less money a couple has the more detail each one of them knows (with exceptions of course). Many people seem to have only a vague idea of their OH's income and could find out if they needed too, but the point is they have enough funds for their family needs so a shortage hasn't prompted them to find out exactly.

For example, when I lived on my own and money was tight I knew the exact amount of all my monthly bills. Now that my bills are a small percentage of the household income, I'd have to look them up.

missprice

Kynthia wrote: »

I think what this thread shows is that the less money a couple has the more detail each one of them knows (with exceptions of course). Many people seem to have only a vague idea of their OH's income and could find out if they needed too, but the point is they have enough funds for their family needs so a shortage hasn't prompted them to find out exactly.

For example, when I lived on my own and money was tight I knew the exact amount of all my monthly bills. Now that my bills are a small percentage of the household income, I'd have to look them up.

oh this exactly this.
pre OH I knew everything coming in and going out of my bank acc. I even knew all the dates of the DDs. Since last year and being made redundant and OH being generous enough to just say well how much then? I have not needed to know because every month he gives me the full amount to cover all the bills (which I screwed down to the smallest amount I could) and that's it I no longer have to worry if a bill will be covered because I know it will be.

this is a first for me as an adult and I have to admit not going so grey so quickly anymore:T

Umistboy

Kynthia wrote: »

I think what this thread shows is that the less money a couple has the more detail each one of them knows (with exceptions of course). Many people seem to have only a vague idea of their OH's income and could find out if they needed too, but the point is they have enough funds for their family needs so a shortage hasn't prompted them to find out exactly.

For example, when I lived on my own and money was tight I knew the exact amount of all my monthly bills. Now that my bills are a small percentage of the household income, I'd have to look them up.

Not neccesarily true.

We bring in a very good joint income through both being in well paid jobs. We both know what we earn because we both work in the same sector.

We both decided to pool our money (see our arrangement details a couple of posts up) because we thought it would be criminal to squander such amounts through a far-too-relaxed attitude.

We have very good pensions each, plenty of money each, the best of everything, over pay the mortgage by thousands each month and save lots too.

I think it's wrong to say that the couples who know each others salaries etc do so only through having to through lack of finances.

Lagoon

Umistboy wrote: »

Not neccesarily true.

We bring in a very good joint income through both being in well paid jobs. We both know what we earn because we both work in the same sector.

We both decided to pool our money (see our arrangement details a couple of posts up) because we thought it would be criminal to squander such amounts through a far-too-relaxed attitude.

We have very good pensions each, plenty of money each, the best of everything, over pay the mortgage by thousands each month and save lots too.

I think it's wrong to say that the couples who know each others salaries etc do so only through having to through lack of finances.

And vice versa. Times when money is tight haven't led to me going 'How much are you earning?'.

Seems a strange comment to make, but perhaps I'm missing WHY it would be true.

borkid

marleyboy wrote: »

I have no idea how much OH has in the bank, nor would I feel the need to. OH has full access to my account and is free to use it for whatever reasons. I trust her enough to budget any combined monies as and when it is needed, that's what makes us a family.

At last that really important word trust.

39 years married and I don't know exactly how much OH's pension is. When he first claimed it we sat down and worked out how much to allocate to bills etc. He gets increases each year and if a particular bill has risen a lot then we'll up the amount saved for that if we don't need to increase anything then he'll save it.

I trust him to pay all the bills etc on time. If we take out a loan ( only ever 0%) then we discuss it, any large/joint/house expenditures we discuss it, CC paid back each month by DD.

It hasn't always been like this when we first had children and I was a SAHM then I knew down to the last penny how much was in the account. Then we only had a joint account. When I started working again I had my own account ( at OH insistance) and I would buy treats/ days out etc.

OH is old fashioned in that he pays for all the basics, food, shelter and bills and doesn't expect me to contribute. Also apart from the mortgage he never takes out credit unless it's 0% and has the same amount saved up somewhere and the CC is never allowed to accrue intrerest charges.

Savings in the past went into tax free accounts and when this was full into my account ( I was in a lower tax band than OH).

We could always ask how much each other has but it's just not necessary. He keeps a spreadsheet ( paper one) with all the outgoings and dates as well as income so if anything were to happen I'd know the exact state of the finances.

Flower08

Yes I know what OH earns exactly. The day we moved into our first rented flat together he took me to the bank and had his account changed to a joint account. Since then both my wages and his have always gone into that account.

He is now the main earner and I am on maternity leave, all his wages, my maternity allowance, child benefit, tax credits etc still go into the same joint account which we can both access whenever we like.

Odette

TBH I would find it strange if I didn't know what my partner earns. We organise our finances much like Catkins except we get an amount of 'pocket money' per month which is for clothing, entertainment etc and we can spend how we like. It makes it so much simpler and I don't know if anyone else finds this; there is generally one person who is more suited to figuring out finances. We make decisions together but day to day budgeting is my job (mostly because I am tight!)
I am desperately trying to remember how the conversation of actual figures came about but I cant. I feel like I must have asked straight out because I am like that. It would be interesting to see a survey about this; we are late 20's and I am pretty sure all my friends know exactly what their partners earn.