The impossible dream

Tahlullah

Start of the new month. April Fools day, so anything goes.

Quick roundup of where I am in my quest to be mortgage free.

Currently as of today, the mortgage stands at £77,000. Small steps but going in the right direction.

The only thing left to purchase in my bid for cheaper travel is the crash helmet, so will do this mid month around pay day.

Otherwise, everything just ticking along.

Tahlullah

Made my first £100 overpayment for April.

According to my budget, I will still have left myself with enough money to buy my crash helmet.

2 out of 3 NSD's so far this month, but the spend was big.
Budgeted for new monthly bill payments. Should be ok.
On track to owe £75900 by the end of April, so exceeding my target.

All positives. But spent money on my red line, which is my winter holiday. Booked for next March 2020. If I were to put the holiday spend into the mortgage, it would reduce significantly very quickly, but this is something I am not prepared to forgo.

Had another conversation about pensions with one of the government bodies set up to give the masses further generalist advice on the matter. Talked about what is happening with mine and whether I will have enough to live on come retirement. Looks like I am on track to be ok. Not rolling in it, bit not living purely on the state pension.

Every little helps.

Tahlullah

I read somewhere that as you get older, you lose the desire to work and it becomes more of a chore than a vocation. I have felt this happening for a while and no amount of changing jobs seems to do it for me any more. I still work in the same field, helping others, but somehow, I have lost that loving feeling.

I know that going back onto the front line isn't the answer. When you become jaded in this field, you lose your empathy and become short and abrupt with others. So, going back to the coal face won't cut it. To be honest, I don't know what the answer is.

So, I have spent this morning catching up on diaries. My over-riding feeling is that compared to others, I am am failing abysmally and just playing at wanting to be mortgage free. I am questioning my judgement. For example, I have booked next years winter holiday after just returning in March this year. Wouldn't a better use of my money be to help reduce the mortgage to become mortgage free? The things that I buy to smooth the path of everyday life, wouldn't that money be better utilised in the mortgage account?

I am hoping that this is just a phase I am going through. It appears that everyone at some point gets to this type of plateau, where they have to step back and re-evaluate. Perhaps stop saving and just live life to the fullest.

I am nearly 54 years old and I still have a mortgage. All calculations show I will still have one when I am 60. This is soul destroying! What to do? Well, right now, today, I owe £76,900. I haven't made this months mortgage payment yet. If I plan to make my £100 overpayment per months as promised, that means I have 69 payments to go, which takes me to 60 years old.

State retirement age is 67 for me, so I am going to look at 60 as my next goal. I plan to retire from my line of work at 60 and find a nice job in a shop or something that is less stressful and less regulated.

So, countdown begins now! If I manage to get to a point where I have managed to pay off the mortgage before the predicted 69th payment, that will be great. Otherwise, I am succeeding just by not working until the age of 67 and reaching mortgage freedom by 60.

So, my next post will be to say that I have made payment number 1 of 69 and I am counting down from then onwards.

I will continue with my tilly tidying, my YouGov, ShopandScan and collecting £2, 20p, 50p and 5p coins. I will continue to look at my monthly food spend and not spent recklessly. I will try to sell some stuff on eBay although I really dislike it. And I will endeavour to take more holidays in the UK rather than abroad during the summer months to save on the cost of flights and hotels.

I will also ensure that I post on here once a month to keep track of how I am doing. So, now I go, into the abyss to return on or around the 10th of the month going forward.

TallGirl

Tahlullah wrote: »

I read somewhere that as you get older, you lose the desire to work and it becomes more of a chore than a vocation. I have felt this happening for a while and no amount of changing jobs seems to do it for me any more. I still work in the same field, helping others, but somehow, I have lost that loving feeling.

I know that going back onto the front line isn't the answer. When you become jaded in this field, you lose your empathy and become short and abrupt with others. So, going back to the coal face won't cut it. To be honest, I don't know what the answer is.

This really struck a cord with me I so agree as I remember were in the same field. I agree it's a vocation or you cannot do it. I had to leave front line after 9 years as it had become too much just lost what's needed to do the job properly. Anyway I've enjoyed other roles in the 8 years after that with no clients but I've enjoyed having them back in the last 6 months. However I couldn't continue doing it for someone else too stressful so I agree that's not the answer. Can you set up as a consultant and choose your own work/clients or doesn't it quite work like that?

Your mortgage is really small I really wouldn't stress about not making the over payments quickly I think your 69 goal is a good one.

Holidays and something to look forward to is important so please enjoy it helps cope with a stressful job too.

Anyway all the best hope you get the gist is my ramblings

Tahlullah

Hi TG, Hope all is well with you. As much as I look at it, as you so clearly have as well, the only way forward is to move outside of this field of work. But doing consultancy work doesn't appeal either. What I really need is to completely step away. Which is why Tesco's is still calling me. However, real life gets in the way and we both know that when we try to go for other work, we are knocked back because of the assumption we are overqualified and so won't stay long in that job

So, the only way forward is retirement, and then when the pressure is off, we can volunteer our services, safe in the knowledge we can walk away at the end of the day without having to worry about any of the stresses that come with the work - from the clients or management responsibilities.

So, 1st payment of 69 on my countdown to zero, and I now owe £75,700.

Overspent stupidly today as I took a colleague out for lunch - £17.50. Excessive, but it comes out of my personal monthly budget on YNAB. I did womble 0.05p though so not all is lost. Will go well in Ermintrude until I am able to sort into the appropriate tins.

Hoping I don't lose the momentum to keep going and succeed.

68 to go.

glass_half_full

Hi Tahlulah,
Your post really resonated with me too. I am a similar age (52) and with a similar mortgage (£72,000). Although I enjoy many aspects of my job, I too am finding it harder as each year goes by!
You say you feel like you are failing abysmally, but to be mortgage free by 60 is still in my mind a great achievement, I read that more and more people are still paying their mortgages into their retirement.
I have no easy answers but I agree with TG that you need things to look forward to. I think balance is really important.
Good luck with your journey!

Tahlullah

Hi Glass half full. Thanks for dropping by and I am sorry that you are in a similar position to me. Neither of these scenarios are good in my opinion - still paying a mortgage and that work is starting to grate, although you do appear to have a more positive outlook than I do.

Nonetheless, we are here and trying to do something about it rather than just accepting the status quo. I wish you every luck with clearing yours.

I am now thinking of buying a camper van! If so, back up goes the mortgage. Not very good at this mortgage free malarkey. As I get older, the need to enjoy my life whilst I still can and am healthy enough seems to pull more than the need to pay off the mortgage. I don't want to get to 60 years old and feel that life passed me by whilst I was rationing my money and the mortgage company got their investment back to the detriment of my positive mental health.

I have always wanted one. I believe I am now earning the most I ever will in life so waiting to buy until I am retired and using a lump sum out of my pension to purchase it seems like madness. I need my pension so I can have a comfortable lifestyle when retired. I just feel that I should have all the bits in place before pensionable age, rather than having to buy them as a pensioner.

So, although it is another decision that takes me further away from mortgage freedom, it is a step towards ensuring that retirement is comfortable with everything I want in place before my income drops. Plus, if it doesn't work, I can always sell it and recoup some of my money. Seems like a win win because if I do decide to buy it, I can still pay off my mortgage before retirement. Seems mad not to.

BachSoon

I've not yet made it to the end of your diary - about a third of the way through, but thought I'd reply a little early to say that you keep making me sing!!

...To dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe... :whistle:

Tahlullah

To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star...

Tahlullah

OK, so anyone who has red my diary fully, will know that when I make a decision about big expenses, I usually follow through quite quickly afterwards. So, in true Tahlullah style, I have gone out and bought the camper van!

It is new to me and very old! But, it is well proportioned and functional and will do what I want, which is to take me on some holidays around the country, but mainly to help me fulfil my dream of snowboarding when I want to where I want to. The added bonus is it will allow me too paddle board in different parts of the country in good summer weather. Win win as far as I can see.

So, my latest plan is now over before it started. Now, I have 85 payments to make to pay off the mortgage before retirement.

May 2019 is 1 of 85. Countdown begins now!