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Advice needed for niece please.
swingaloo
Posts: 3,609 Forumite
My niece is a mum to 3 children. Her husband left her 6 years ago. They had enjoyed what she thought was a comfortable lifestyle even though he worked abroad a lot.
He met someone else on one of his trips abroad and he has since moved to South Africa, married the woman and had 3 more children with her.
At the time of the divorce they had mediation and it was decided that he would pay maintenance (he was on an enormous salary at the time) and my niece would stay in the family home till the youngest was 18 when it would be sold and the proceeds split. As there was a mortgage on the property which her ex is still paying her share on the sale of the property will be minimal.
Both parties were happy with the agreement at the time.
Now things have changed a lot, he has had these 3 children with his new wife in South Africa but it also transpires that he has had yet another child with another woman over there (this was in-between his wife's 2nd and 3rd child and his wife is not aware of this child) and as if that's not bad enough there is now a 3rd woman pregnant with his child.
Things have come to light to show that he is living quite a 'complicated' life and from mail which still arrives at my nieces home it seems he is sinking further and further into debt. Despite this he still talks and lives as if he is a millionaire.
Now she has found out that he is 2 months late with the mortgage payments (the mortgage is in his name alone).
He spoke to the children on Skype a couple of days ago and then spoke to my niece. He told her that he was sick of having a mortgage round his neck and was 'going to do something about it'.
When they divorced he was the one who suggested that the family stay in the house till the children were older and that he saw it as an investment for when he was older but obviously this was before he remarried and started getting 3 other women pregnant!
He is paying interest only on the mortgage and my niece is now terrified he may let the house get repossessed as he has told her that she 'Can find herself somewhere to live with the maintenance he pays'.
She has looked on a benefits website and thinks she would not be allowed housing benefit due to the total she receives from maintenance, her wage (part time) and her tax credits. Without housing benefit she would have to find around £500 a month for rent which would be impossible for her.
The thing is that he pays a fair maintenance for the children but it is unreliable as to when he pays (although he is up to date) but she would have to declare that she receives it each month even though she can wait 6 or 7 weeks sometimes. She knows he is paying maintenance for the child he has with the other woman in South Africa and obviously with another on the way more will have to come from the pot so she can see that things may become more difficult than ever.
All this is against the court order from when they divorced. she has in the past had to get her solicitor to contact him when he has stopped paying maintenance or caused other problems but they can only contact him be email and he just laughs and says he is untouchable in South Africa.
From the mail she receives at the house it seems he is still flying first class, hiring fancy cars and wining and dining all over the place. He has told her to open his mail and notify him if there is anything important so she is not doing it behind his back. She has asked him to have his mail redirected but as he says it is his UK address he will carry on using it. She used to return things to sender saying not at this address but it didn't make much difference.
She says she feels as if she is living with a ticking bomb and nothing she can do about it.
She is getting so stressed and I don't know how to advise her really.
Thank you for reading if you got this far.
He met someone else on one of his trips abroad and he has since moved to South Africa, married the woman and had 3 more children with her.
At the time of the divorce they had mediation and it was decided that he would pay maintenance (he was on an enormous salary at the time) and my niece would stay in the family home till the youngest was 18 when it would be sold and the proceeds split. As there was a mortgage on the property which her ex is still paying her share on the sale of the property will be minimal.
Both parties were happy with the agreement at the time.
Now things have changed a lot, he has had these 3 children with his new wife in South Africa but it also transpires that he has had yet another child with another woman over there (this was in-between his wife's 2nd and 3rd child and his wife is not aware of this child) and as if that's not bad enough there is now a 3rd woman pregnant with his child.
Things have come to light to show that he is living quite a 'complicated' life and from mail which still arrives at my nieces home it seems he is sinking further and further into debt. Despite this he still talks and lives as if he is a millionaire.
Now she has found out that he is 2 months late with the mortgage payments (the mortgage is in his name alone).
He spoke to the children on Skype a couple of days ago and then spoke to my niece. He told her that he was sick of having a mortgage round his neck and was 'going to do something about it'.
When they divorced he was the one who suggested that the family stay in the house till the children were older and that he saw it as an investment for when he was older but obviously this was before he remarried and started getting 3 other women pregnant!
He is paying interest only on the mortgage and my niece is now terrified he may let the house get repossessed as he has told her that she 'Can find herself somewhere to live with the maintenance he pays'.
She has looked on a benefits website and thinks she would not be allowed housing benefit due to the total she receives from maintenance, her wage (part time) and her tax credits. Without housing benefit she would have to find around £500 a month for rent which would be impossible for her.
The thing is that he pays a fair maintenance for the children but it is unreliable as to when he pays (although he is up to date) but she would have to declare that she receives it each month even though she can wait 6 or 7 weeks sometimes. She knows he is paying maintenance for the child he has with the other woman in South Africa and obviously with another on the way more will have to come from the pot so she can see that things may become more difficult than ever.
All this is against the court order from when they divorced. she has in the past had to get her solicitor to contact him when he has stopped paying maintenance or caused other problems but they can only contact him be email and he just laughs and says he is untouchable in South Africa.
From the mail she receives at the house it seems he is still flying first class, hiring fancy cars and wining and dining all over the place. He has told her to open his mail and notify him if there is anything important so she is not doing it behind his back. She has asked him to have his mail redirected but as he says it is his UK address he will carry on using it. She used to return things to sender saying not at this address but it didn't make much difference.
She says she feels as if she is living with a ticking bomb and nothing she can do about it.
She is getting so stressed and I don't know how to advise her really.
Thank you for reading if you got this far.
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Comments
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I'm under the impression maintainance doesn't class as incomeHave a Bsc Hons open degree from the Open University 2015 :j:D:eek::T0
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Could she not afford to pay the interest only mortgage herself out of the maintenance, salary and tax credits?Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear0
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mummyroysof3 wrote: »I'm under the impression maintainance doesn't class as income
Thank you for the reply. I didn't know that and I don't think she does. She just said she had looked on a benefits site and thought her income would be too high to claim. It would be a huge weight of her mind if she is entitled if the worst happens.0 -
Sounds like she needs some proper advice tbh. Are all her kids at school now so she gets job seekers rather than income support? Personally if the interest is cheaper than a house to rent would be I would pay it rather than face repossession, or look to rent and let him sell the houseHave a Bsc Hons open degree from the Open University 2015 :j:D:eek::T0
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peachyprice wrote: »Could she not afford to pay the interest only mortgage herself out of the maintenance, salary and tax credits?
That's an option she has though about but according to one of the letters his 'interest only period is due to expire'.
She certainly wouldn't be able to take the mortgage on herself. She was working full time till 3 months ago and had enquired as to if she could raise a mortgage to buy him out but her income was not enough.0 -
I'm afraid he is under no legal obligation to pay the mortgage, as he is paying maintenance.
As he lives abroad I would be careful not to "rock the boat" because if he decides to stop paying then realistically, I don't think there would be much she can do about it.
Maintenance will not be counted towards and means tested benefits.
You say her husband left 6 years ago so I'm guessing the kids are all at school. Can your niece not look for full time work?0 -
It might be worth discussing with the lender extending the interest only period for her to take it over until the youngest child is eighteen though? If she does that then she should also speak to a solicitor and get her name put onto the mortgage and the deeds, otherwise she is then paying for his "investment"
I would definitely discuss this opinion with the solicitor though as will save upheaval for the children too.
Maintenance definitely isn't counted as income as far as benefits calculations are concerned.MBNA [STRIKE]£2,029[/STRIKE] £1,145 Virgin [STRIKE]£8,712[/STRIKE] £7,957 Sainsbury [STRIKE]£6,870[/STRIKE] £5,575 M&S [STRIKE]£10,016[/STRIKE] £9,690 Barclaycard [STRIKE]£11,951[/STRIKE] £11,628 CTC [STRIKE]£7,629[/STRIKE] £6,789 Mortgage £[STRIKE]182,828[/STRIKE] £171,670
LBM Dec12 excl mort 47,207/42,784 Dec13
Excl mortg and CTC 39,578/35,995 Dec13
Incl mortg 230,035/214,454 Dec13
Extra payment a week:this week £0 / YTD£1,457.550 -
19lottie82 wrote: »I'm afraid he is under no legal obligation to pay the mortgage, as he is paying maintenance.
As he lives abroad I would be careful not to "rock the boat" because if he decides to stop paying then realistically, I don't think there would be much she can do about it.
Maintenance will not be counted towards and means tested benefits.
You say her husband left 6 years ago so I'm guessing the kids are all at school. Can your niece not look for full time work?
They have a court order stating that as part of the divorce settlement he pays the mortgage till the youngest is 18. This was done in pace of them selling the house at the time of the divorce and splitting the proceeds. He pays the mortgage and she only gets a minimal pay out when the house is sold.
She has been working full time but the children are now at 3 different schools plus the youngest is disabled so she just could not manage full time as there are so many appointments etc for the youngest that she has had to change to part time to enable her to manage for a while.0 -
It does sound very complicated, and she needs technical advice. I would suggest CAB / neighbourhood law centre / benefits advisor etc. There may be someone at her local Children's Centre.
I suggest someone like that as she needs "benefits" rather than "legal" advice.
I also suggest that she contacts the mortgage provider asap, and informs them of the basics of her situation (no need to tell them all the issues).
It may also be worthwhile contacting her local housing department, informing them that there may be a problem. Their reaction will vary - some authorities will work to try to keep the family in the home (to minimise their liability!), others just wait until there is a major problem.0 -
It might be worth discussing with the lender extending the interest only period for her to take it over until the youngest child is eighteen though? If she does that then she should also speak to a solicitor and get her name put onto the mortgage and the deeds, otherwise she is then paying for his "investment"
I would definitely discuss this opinion with the solicitor though as will save upheaval for the children too.
Maintenance definitely isn't counted as income as far as benefits calculations are concerned.
Her solicitor wanted her name on the deeds at the time of the divorce but his fought against it. It is 'his investment' but she was happy to agree to it provided she was able to stay in the family home for the childrens school years.
The solicitor thing is useless though as each time she has spoken to them about the situation they reply that they 'Can e mail him but there is nothing they can do if he refuses to reply'. They told her it was pointless her paying them when it was unlikely they could get a result.
The last time they had an address for him in South Africa and actually wrote to him he told her that he had given the letter to his son to 'draw on the back of'.0
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