Can I join in please? Long time lurker needs to take action!

EstherH

If your freezer is full I would start by making a list of what's in there. Look at your fridge and grocery cupboard and make a meal plan for the next four days that uses what you already have. If you need to have any other ingredients because you can't manage on. What's there, then make a list and go shopping with just enough cash to buy that. Leave your card at home. Is your partner understanding the need to sort all this out? If not its going to be difficult. You have to start with little steps or it will be too overwhelming which is why I suggested four days rather than a week for the meal plan. Then you can take the next step.

As for the flat, just start by decluttering one corner or throwing a few bits of rubbish away. You will feel you have achieved something.

HTH. Esther x

-taff

I would make sure that your boyfriend is doing his share too. And I meanhis share, not just a token effort.
If he wants ot get out of debt then you both have to contribute, both to the househould and to the savings.

When I worked the same hours as my b/f and we lived together, i still ended up doing most of the housework and shopping and cooking because he just didn't do it.

Sounds harsh but if he's trained to do it now like you obviously have been [a bit] then it'll go much easier.

madaminx

EstherH wrote: »

If your freezer is full I would start by making a list of what's in there. Look at your fridge and grocery cupboard and make a meal plan for the next four days that uses what you already have. If you need to have any other ingredients because you can't manage on. What's there, then make a list and go shopping with just enough cash to buy that. Leave your card at home. Is your partner understanding the need to sort all this out? If not its going to be difficult. You have to start with little steps or it will be too overwhelming which is why I suggested four days rather than a week for the meal plan. Then you can take the next step.

As for the flat, just start by decluttering one corner or throwing a few bits of rubbish away. You will feel you have achieved something.

HTH. Esther x

Yeh that's the habit I'm developing too, have heard it referred to as a fridge, cupboard, freezer audit, that way you know exactly what you have, can plan meals better, eliminate food waste and save money

Tryingagainandagain

treeny_bash wrote: »

Hi Ditsykitchen

Thanks for the encouragement. I am subscribed to Flylady's emails but I hate hate hate washing dishes, so yep, a messy kitchen is a big part of my problem lol..

I was the same until I moved house and got a dishwasher. Now I just scrape the dishes and put all the dirty stuff straight into the dishwasher. As I live alone I only put it on every 2 or three days, but the kitchen looks reasonable all the time.

Tryingagainandagain

You could also go to the debt free diaries part of the forum and post your income and outgoings - people will suggest ways of reducing outgoings which you may not have thought of.

madaminx

Tryingagainandagain wrote: »

You could also go to the debt free diaries part of the forum and post your income and outgoings - people will suggest ways of reducing outgoings which you may not have thought of.

Where are the debt free diaries?

Thanks

kezlou

hi treeny-bash :wave:

just have to say welcome and you can do it!!!
its hard and were in the same boat slowly paying off debt.
They are tons of veggie recipes on the grocery challenge thread.

This thread on here is fanastic and has loads of fab ideas.
Unhappy £20 to feed a family of 4 for a month?
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2116179


https://www.cheapfamilyrecipes.org is another loads of recipes again.


Good luck!!!!!!!

Fruball

My advice is that, if you try to change your lifestyle too quickly, you will fail.

For example, you say you spend a fortune on takeaways whilst you don't get around to cooking what you buy... So, buy some ready meals and prepared veg/salad for those days when you cba. The time you would spend cooking or getting meals out, can be spent clearing up. Ready meals are cheaper than takeaways.

Take it one step at a time.

Also, see what you can actually get RID of... I found that we had a tonne of stuff we didn't actually need and the satisfaction of knowing that we never, ever had to clear those things up again more than made up for parting with them!

treeny_bash

Thanks for all the tips so far. I've been in the freezer and taken out what I think might be lentil soup for tea tomorrow. Those who have mentioned my boyfriend really are hitting the nail on the head, we have talked things out until we're blue in the face but at the end of the day, I can't force him to live frugally. I've opened a joint bank account for bills, I am paying in enough to cover a third of the bills and a bit of debt repayment and he has to pay in the other 2 thirds since he earns twice as much as me. We should have the same amount left in our accounts once this is done so he can keep visibility of his money and budget accordingly. I know I got a shock at how much I had left!

I want to make sure I do my best at cutting down the groceries and other things so that I can pay for it out of my money, so if we're doing social stuff then he can pay for it and if he can't afford it then we don't do it. I'm sick fed up of running out of money to pay for bills because it's all been spent on nights out, weekend away and takeaways. I'm going to do this this time, I'm off to audit the cupboards now and read up on the blogs you've suggested!

Tryingagainandagain

madaminx wrote: »

Where are the debt free diaries?

Thanks

There is a "debt-free wannabe" board on the forums. If you go to the forum list you will see it near all the money/loans/bankruptcy type boards.

The debt-free diaries are a sub-board. This and the old-style board both "safe" boards, where everyone wants to help rather than shoot people down in flames.