MOB speech - no jokes!

luckycat99

Hi there

My mum is doing a mother of the bride speech for my sisters wedding next month. She has been told by my sister that she is not allowed to be funny or say anything that might embarrass her. This restricts mum quite a lot (she is Scouse and so jokes/humour are a big part of her personality). My sister is very moody so there is no way that mum can bend this rule. My sister has also said "it had better be good".

I would be very grateful for any advice for my mum (apart from telling my sister not to be such a controlling moody so-and-so).

Thanks in advance!

74jax

Speeches I think are very personal, so we really couldn't help in what to say. As a guideline I would say let her introduce herself, say how gorgeous her daughter is looking today and how proud she is of her. Maybe a small memory of her growing up and then a welcome to her new son in law and a toast to her daughter and her new husband.

I don't think it need be long and drawn out, something sincere from the Brides Mum.

minerva_windsong

Is your mum filling the father of the bride role at your sister's wedding? If so then I agree with 74jax that something short and sweet is good - just some nice memories of your sister as a child, how proud she is of her and how lovely she looks today, and welcoming her new son-in-law to the family. That sounds pretty similar to my dad's father of the bride speeches at my sister's wedding (although he did go a little more jokey in a kind of 'looking at her today you wouldn't believe when she was a teenager she wore baggy jeans and black eyeliner'-type way). Generally parents of the bride speeches don't tend to go that jokey - that's more of a best man thing.

heartbreak_star

Ooh your sister sounds like a grump.

I'd keep it short and sweet if I was your Mum - offer congratulations and a toast.

HBS x

floss2

If my mum had been able to be at my wedding I would have wanted her to be herself & to be natural - if that meant poking gentle fun at me over the state of my bedroom as a teenager, or snogging with my teenage boyfriends around the corner where I thought I was out of sight, then so be it.

However, my younger son stood up and spoke for his mummy, and both praised and embarassed me just as much as my dad would have done

Your mum should be natural, her normal self - if she's trying to be something she isn't familiar with on such an emotional day just to please your sister, it may well come across as stilted, cold or even uncaring.

floss2

ska_lover wrote: »

I do not think that your sister sounds like a grump at all - I would have thought that it goes without saying that the MOB does not say anything to embarrass the bride on her wedding day - that kind of thing can come across as very crass and rather uncaring. A MOB role is to BOOST her daughter on her wedding day, not try and have a laugh at her expense.

One of my close friends mother did this at my friends wedding, and it left the bride in tears - that is why I have such strong views about it, as my friend was left deeply upset that her own mother would want to show her up on her wedding day

There is a difference between poking gentle fun and showing someone up - one would hope the OP's sister is mature enough to tell the difference.

luckycat99

My mum's approach is more the poking gentle fun style rather than show her up.

FBaby

I know I'm in for it with both my dad's and hubby to be speeches. I'll laugh wholeheartedly. I know how much they both adore me, that's why I'm so lucky, and frankly, I've done my share of things to laugh about. If it can't be shared and laughed out on this occasion, when will it be (and it won't feel an exclusive matter as I'm sure the best man will have his day too!)

valos_mummy

I have to admit, this is a worry for me actually. My brother was going to do it (dad died 5 years ago) but was so nervous he's passed that torch over to my mom. It's the lesser of 2 potential embarass-fests as I know little brother thought he had to be "funny" but both him and my mom take great delight in bringing up "Oooo Valo's never gets out of bed in the morning does she? Ooo and the house is always a tip isn't it, she never does housework ha-ha-ha. And she has such a temper on her as well. Oh, and she's SO easy to wind up, look she's getting wound up now isn't she, ha ha bloody ha"

Even talking about starting a family after the wedding, mom had to get a crafty dig in about the fact I'll apparently be handing over the baby to fiance all the time so he can do everything with it, cause I'm faaaaar too lazy to get up in the night. (ha ha ha)

I just try and laugh along these days (or wind up comments start) but sometimes it's so hurtful. I'm approaching 34, but getting shown up to your family and friends like you're a moody teenager and having them encouraged to have a good old chuckle at your expense is not nice. I'm not completely humourless, I can handle mickey taking with the best of them, but it's always the same old jokes about me; like a stuck record! Ska Lover's horror story is my biggest wedding fear right now.

Just for once, it would be nice to be treated like a proper grown up, have lovely things said about me for a chnage and not a !!!! to be taken in sight.

floss2

ska_lover wrote: »

....No one wants to hear about the bride having a messy bedroom or snogging teenage boyfriends behind bikesheds, it's in seriously bad taste to even bring that kind of stuff up, inappropriate and completely irrelevant to the day.....

Not to me & my guests it wouldn't have been - that's part of who I am, and my brothers still remind me of it to this day. I would much rather have had my mum poke fun at me than the actual fact of having neither of my parents there. Perhaps the OP's sister should count her blessings that she has a parent to take this role.

Anyway, its no different to the tales my husbands best man told about him - his brother - oh, I forgot, it IS different because he was poking fun at the groom and thats expected.

floss2

ska_lover wrote: »

One would hope that the MOB has the maturity to realise that there is a time and a place, and being given the honour of being asked to give a speech is not an excuse to try and poke fun and get everyone laughing at the brides expense.

It is certainly not what a wedding is all about.

Get a grip!

Its a good job you weren't invited to my & my hubands wedding then - you'd have hated it in Blackpool, c/w tram ride & rock favours, one brother doing a "turn" in between the meal & the speeches by reciting "Albert & The Lion", the bride drinking pint glasses of the real ale selected by her husband as their wedding beer, my new husband reminding everyone that we'd met on the internet.

Everyone's wedding is what they make it and what they want it to be - there is no rule book!!