Scared of Hospitals - Pathetic or What??

stebiz

This might sound absolutely pathetic but I am really scared of hospitals. I think it stems from when my Grandad went in relatively healthy, and fell whilst having a shower. He died immediately after banging his head. I also remember being with my Nan in hospital and she died hours later.
I really find it hard going into these places. I freeze up. I have panic attacks.I'm on edge and certainly not a good visitor. However this really is stopping me getting on with life. Last year my mum was in hospital for a week - I turned up once for 10 minutes. Deep inside I'd have loved to have gone everyday but I was scared.
My twin was in hospital. I couldn't even go then either.
On the odd occasion I've had to take my kids I'm a nervous wreck.
Now my mum has had to go back in today. I'd rather walk a 100 mile on broken glass than go to see her in hospital. Yet I love her so much and would do anything for her. Hopefully she will only be in for a very short while and I can make my excuses.
Pathetic - yes. Sad - yes. Send flowers to her - most certainly. What the hell is up with me? Am I the only one who hates the hospital environment so much - yet admire the Nurses and Doctors.
Cheers
Stebiz

skint_spice

Sorry to hear about this but it's not pathetic and you're not alone. I've heard it's a very common fear, not one I share (I'm like that with heights).
Could you maybe see your doctor and discuss this with them, I'm just thinking that if anything ever happens and you need treatment then it would be better if you didn't enter the hospital in a state of extreme anxiety.
I hope you can sort this out and that your mum gets out soon.

mountainofdebt

hospitals aren't my favourite place either although (and please don't take this the wrong way!) but I'm not as bad as you!
Presumably your family are aware of your phobia and even if they don't understand it, know that you are not being funny by not visiting them.

As for your present situation would it be possible for you to see your mum away from the ward? I know our local hospital has a sort of shopping area....if she's well enough perhaps you could meet up there?

If you think about it hospitals by their very nature are places we only tend to go when we're in pain or ill - so would it help you if (after your mum comes home) you go there to sort of climatise your self?

Here's hoping your mum's stay is a short one.

Errata

stebiz wrote: »

Now my mum has had to go back in today. I'd rather walk a 100 mile on broken glass than go to see her in hospital. Yet I love her so much and would do anything for her.

What the hell is up with me?
Cheers
Stebiz

I've just picked out a couple of things. Can you see the mixed messsage you're telling yourself? You'd do anything for your mum - but you won't.

It looks like you have hospital phobia, it's not uncommon and often starts as a result of a highly emotionally charged event.

You can get over it, and it might be a good idea if you could as you have children and both you and them would be utterly distraught if they had to stay in hospital and you couldn't visit. Why not talk to your GP and ask if you can have some specialised counselling/therapy?

tanith

Maybe you could try desensitizing yourself by going and just have a wander round the grounds to start with and when you feel braver have a walk around inside . If you don't have the added pressure of actually having to see a doctor or nurse you may find it gets easier...

nats3006

Ahhh its ok to be scared sometimes!!

but dont worry it will all be ok!

ailuro2

My DH is the same- he managed to stay with me throughout labour, bless him, but when he heard the word 'theatre' he bolted-thankfully it didn't end in a C section,theatre was just a precaution, but 'theatre' was more than he could take without a general anaesthetic - he was waiting for me(went in a 'me' and returned as US!) in the ward straight after.

try your best, ask what the worst that will happen to you is? - if a family member was gravely ill then you would have to go see them, your Mum will hopefully be out soon but it would aid her speedy recovery if her child made such a massive effort to go cheer her up. (Remember to wash your hands, remember many hospitals frown on visitors taking food in, but your Mother may appreciate a nice fruit basket)

Fritha_2

I understand where you're coming from. I'm not in a slightest bit scared of hospitals but I do get panic attacks. I had to go into outpatients earlier this week and I was surprised by how frightened I felt wandering around the hospital. All of a sudden it seemed a big scary place filled with pain and suffering.

The thing I have tho is that I have been taught how to control myself when I'm having a panic attack. It's easier said than done but there's a few tips.

When you panic you hyperventilate. Concentrate on your breathing and slowing it down. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth as slowly and deeply as you can.

Try to distract yourself, take a unflappable/soothing friend or relative who can witter at you to try and take your mind off the scariness.


Set yourself realistic goals, only stay for fifteen minutes for example then slowly lengthen it.

And most importantly go see your doctor and ask for help it really will make you feel so much better :-)

Edit: forgot to add, I hope you mum feels better soon.

DrFluffy

Does the hospital have patient line? As much as I hate the rip off merchants, it would at least allow to to speak to your mum everyday.

Call the nurses, explain your predicament and ask if there is anything to stop you coming up to take your mum out for a few hours. They will run it past the docs for you, and might make a nice change for her (of course this depends on why she is in hospital!).

when your mum comes out, maybe speak to someone about addressing your fears.

Justie

I'm not scared of hospitals I just hate them. The smell reminds me too much of my dad's last 3 years of life when he was in and out of hospital all the time. I've had to go often since then for various reasons and it is getting easier but I still have to really concentrate on my breathing and staying relaxed and if I can avoid them I do (not so easy when you're pregnant though!). One thing I've found to be really good is Bachs Rescue Remedy. A few drops on your tongue and it eases the tension. It may work for you too.

bestpud

tanith wrote: »

Maybe you could try desensitizing yourself by going and just have a wander round the grounds to start with and when you feel braver have a walk around inside . If you don't have the added pressure of actually having to see a doctor or nurse you may find it gets easier...

I think this is a really good idea. It's pretty much what a CBT trained therapist would get you to do but they are pretty scarce in many areas, particularly in the NHS.

You could maybe work up to using the coffee shop, or buying something from the hospital shop - that type of thing.

I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and it is far from pathetic. It is a physiological respnse to something you are afraid of and can be very hard to deal with. You can control it though - I have found counselling (not CBT) very helpful as I can now take a step back and see things for what they are.

I hope your mum recovers soon. See this as a reason to sort your phobia out though. Write to your mum, or ring, and let her know why you can't come in. I'm sure she knows anyway. It would be great for her, you and your children if you could challenge your fears before you next need/want to go in a hospital. I think it's a bit much to try and get over it while you mum is in this time though as the extra pressure of needing to see her will make it harder for you.

Good luck!