How to stop worrying about things that may never happen?

view

So..this may seem odd.

Do you find yourself worrying (really worrying) about things that may never happen and if so, how do you get rid of the odd feeling that accompanies it?

I have had a few close family pass away much much earlier than they should have (mum 10 years ago at age 61, brother six years ago at age 32) and a close colleague's wife suddenly passed away a few weeks ago (zero signs, they still don't know of the cause).

I do know this sounds daft, but it's made me worry about other family members, friends etc... passing.

I know this is silly, but I just can't help myself.

I am a pretty positive person normally and these things (brother and mum) didn't happen recently.

If you have any idea what I'm on about and have experienced this, how do you stop it? I've tried telling myself 'it's out of my control so stop worrying' but that just seems to heighten it.....

Does anyone have an inkling about this or has it happened to you?

edit. very good point below from mgdavid, death happens to everyone, what I really meant was young/before you're elderly.

flower24

I am always like this, although I go through times where I'm not so anxious, I have many periods of anxiety. It's not nice, might be worth speaking to your GP?

Maybe some counselling would help? Xxx

view

immynjoesmum wrote: »

I am always like this, although I go through times where I'm not so anxious, I have many periods of anxiety. It's not nice, might be worth speaking to your GP? Maybe some counselling would help? Xxx

thanks immynjoesmum, perhaps what I'm feeling is anxiety, I have felt anxious before (before exams or interviews etc..) but not this before...

Just to be clear here to any mods, not asking for medical advice, just interested to see if others have felt / feel the same.

mgdavid

law of averages says for every early death there will also be a 'late' one to balance things out- hopefully me :-)
Application of logic may help; only be concerned with things you can do something about (and then go do it). If you cannot change it or do anything about it then no point in worrying.

Person_one

A lot of people do this, probably all of us at some stage or other! Its called 'catastrophic thinking' I think.

CBT is a marvellous technique that helps you manage and control your own thoughts. You can see someone to help you learn it, but actually you can get a lot from a book. I read this and found it helpful:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy-For-Dummies/dp/0470667206

There are lots of other options out there though.

view

Thanks I'll have a look into that book. It's odd when you haven't felt this way before and bam it hits you between the eyes..... glad I'm not alone (although don't wish it on anyone).

Thought it might be silly to speak to GP about 'worry'... afterall, that's all it is I guess

themull1

I always thought it was normal to occasionally feel like that? my 11 year old daughter had a week where she cried and said she didnt want anyone she knew to die, but she's fine now. I sometimes think that about my parents, i think its natural.

marisco_2

It must have been awful for you to have lost your mum and brother. They both passed when they were still very young which must have been very difficult to cope with. The sudden passing of a close acquaintances wife has probably reinforced again how fragile life can be, and this has left you feeling a little vulnerable.

In all likelihood nothing adverse will happen to your friends and family. All you can do is to try and put these worries and anxieties out of your mind and get on with life enjoying the company of those closest to you. I hope you will feel better about things soon.

Spendless

I did a course a few years ago, about when thoughts like this crept into our minds. What I found helpful was to acknowledge the idea inside my head as a 'fear' and dismiss it, rather than dwelling on it and letting the thought grow bigger. In time (months and years, rather than days and weeks) the thoughts no longer appear.

Hope this makes sense

mgdavid

themull1 wrote: »

I always thought it was normal to occasionally feel like that? my 11 year old daughter had a week where she cried and said she didnt want anyone she knew to die, but she's fine now. I sometimes think that about my parents, i think its natural.

but then so is death...

(but this is off topic - the thread was about 'things that may never happen' !

view

marisco wrote: »

It must have been awful for you to have lost your mum and brother. They both passed when they were still very young which must have been very difficult to cope with. The sudden passing of a close acquaintances wife has probably reinforced again how fragile life can be, and this has left you feeling a little vulnerable.

In all likelihood nothing adverse will happen to your friends and family. All you can do is to try and put these worries and anxieties out of your mind and get on with life enjoying the company of those closest to you. I hope you will feel better about things soon.

Thanks for your kind words. And wise words.