Au pair wanted advice please

ruthyjo

I'm wondering about getting an au pair but have no idea how to go about it or whether what I want would be attractive to an au pair. Hoping some MSEers can advise me.

Here's the household routine:

I leave for work at about half past six. I generally don't see the kids on a morning. My OH gets the children up. DSs (11 and 10) eat breakfast. DD just gets dressed. He drops DD (age 5) off at the childminders at 7.30. She has breakfast there and is returned to her school (which shares a boundary wall with our house) at 8.45. OH drops boys at bus stop at 7.35. They catch a school bus to school 16 miles away. On an evening DD goes back to childminder after school. I leave work in time to collect her at 5.30. Sons get home by school bus at 5.00 and are on their own until I return with DD at about 5.40. (I know this is terrible but I have been unable to get anyone to watch them.)

So really I would like au pair to get daughter up and get her to school for 8.45. I am working from home today and got my DD up at 8.00 - this was plenty of time to get her ready. OH would continue to see to the boys on a morning. I would then like au pair to collect DD from school at 3.30, look after her and be in for my sons at 5.00. It would be great if I could work slightly longer days but either I or OH would always be home by six. (i.e. total of 3.25 hours childcare from the au pair).

I don't need any help with housework or ironing, but might need evening meal doing for the kids. In school hols I would like someone to stay with the kids - not every day but a couple of full days a week.

Is this within what an au pair would do? How much could I expect to pay her?

I live in a village near a new university town in the North of England. There is a bus service into town. The spare room does not have an ensuite. Would an au pair be likely to be happy with this?

Advice - should I go for it, how do I go about it?

I'm so unsure what to do. My CM is lovely but is moving at the end of term. I feel that my children have a stressful time of it, DSs should not be on their own when they get in and DD has far too long out of her home each day for a five year old. I'm not sure if an au pair would improve this or just create different stresses?

I know some people will advise me to become at SAHM. Our domestic circumstances and financial commitments mean this isn't possible. With hindsight I would have made some life decisions differently but can't change how things are at the moment.

nats3006

no advice really but there will be some lovely mser's come along soon. but can i say its no wonder u want an au pair(sp?) i would as well!!

good luck

Spendless

Hi,
There is a family at my childrens school who use an au-pair. I am friendly with their current one. She says she is paid £75 a week and should work 25 hours. She studies so many hours a week. It sounds like an au-pair you have would be able to get to college/uni for any classes they have ok.
I'm aware of 1 or 2 MSE'rs who have used au-pairs who I'm sure will answer your queries, when they see your thread.
channel 4 is currently showing a documentory about au-pairs can't remember the day or time.

Justie

sounds like an au pair would suit your needs and the requirements you have sound reasonable. Not having an en suite isn't a disaster but if you only have the one bathroom it may lead to congestion in the mornings. You'd need to think about if s/he would have access to a car or not and if so can you arrange that/is it needed to do the job? Best place to start is to get in touch with an agency or to get a copy of 'The Lady' which has tonnes of classifieds (also a good place to look at wages etc). Personally I'd advise going through an agency so that you know references have been checked etc and they will help with terms and conditions. It can work out cheaper to DIY but then you have to work out if you have to pay tax & NI and if there's ever any dispute it can make it more difficult. Wage and hours that Spendless states seem about right.

poe.tuesday

au pairs usually only work in the mornings so that they can then go to college in the aftrnnoons to learn English

If you want anything more than this then you will need to go for a mothers help, these girls live in, work all day and have 1.5 days off, they cost about 50% more than an au pair

ruthyjo

Thanks for all your replies.

I'm a bit confused about the tax and NI comments. I had a vague feeling au pairs came on sort of agreed scheme with rules that meant you were giving them "pocket money" and there were no tax or NI implications. It's defintiely an au pair I want rather than a UK nanny or even mother's help. Both because of affordability and also because I'd feel less like I was relinquishing my children.

Is it really true that au pairs only work mornings? If they do 25 hours a week but it's all mornings I don't see how they would be very useful to any family with school age children as there are generally only a couple of hours at most between the children getting up and going to school.

I'd be really grateful for more comments on this!

Spendless

Ruthyjo- The au-pairs that I know picks the children up at 3.30 on several days a week. It's not all 5 though,as grand-parents do some pick ups too. I am not aware of the reason why.
One of the au-pairs they used must have worked mornings because the children (triplets) were in PM nursery with my son, again the grand-parents may have picked up on occassional days a week.
It may be something to do with when the au-pairs college classes are, but I'd be surprised if they all ran in an afternoon. I would have thought it would depend on the college/uni as to the timetable.

Dormouse

I was once an au pair (a long time ago ).

Your routine sounds fine to me, and AFAIK there's absolutely no reason why the au pair can't work in the afternoons. When I did it, I got the girls ready for school, and then picked them up after school, and looked after them until Mum got home.

Occasional babysitting and looking after the kids a couple of days during the school hols sounds reasonable to me - as long as everything is discussed and agreed beforehand.

No en suite shouldn't be a problem - realistically, how many houses do have one for the spare bedroom?

And AFAIK there is no NI or tax issues involved, but of course I would advise checking just in case.

Good luck

AnnieH

Just make sure you get an ugly one though

Rachie_B

poe.tuesday wrote: »

au pairs usually only work in the mornings so that they can then go to college in the aftrnnoons to learn English

If you want anything more than this then you will need to go for a mothers help, these girls live in, work all day and have 1.5 days off, they cost about 50% more than an au pair

erm no thats not quite right lol

A Mothers help doesnt have to be live in they can be daily ( or whenever required) ,nor do they have to have to have 1.5 days off !

OP have a look here for info on employing an Au Pair http://www.justaupairs.co.uk/aupairs.htm

HTH

BernadetteN

ruthyjo wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies.

I'm a bit confused about the tax and NI comments. I had a vague feeling au pairs came on sort of agreed scheme with rules that meant you were giving them "pocket money" and there were no tax or NI implications. It's defintiely an au pair I want rather than a UK nanny or even mother's help. Both because of affordability and also because I'd feel less like I was relinquishing my children.

Is it really true that au pairs only work mornings? If they do 25 hours a week but it's all mornings I don't see how they would be very useful to any family with school age children as there are generally only a couple of hours at most between the children getting up and going to school.

I'd be really grateful for more comments on this!

Au pairs shouldn't have to pay tax unless you pay them over a single person's allowance. I've never heard of NI for an au pair either.

I've also never heard of au pairs only working mornings either. It's 25 hours per week with 2 days off, so an average of 5 hours 5 days per week is usual, with any occasional extra baby sitting negotiable. They are part of your family so it's not like you are employer/employee.

I have never personally employed an au pair but have interviewed thousands of them. Please be aware that those from Eastern Europe, I would estimate that more than half of them do not get on with their first placement. It really helps if you can get a personal recommendation and meet them in advance (which you should be able to do if they are already in the UK).

When male au pairs were first allowed under Immgration rules, I was very sceptical about their popularity and whether they would stick at the job. However, on my anectodal evidence, they are more reliable and very popular in particular with families with boys over 5 years old. I have 2 elder boys (10 and 8) and 2 younger girls (1 and 5) and I'd now go for a male au pair over female, if I really needed one.

Most au pairs will spend part of their week at English lessons and who pays for those is negociable (on the experience of interviewing thousands of them).

I also think £75 a week is a reasonable allowance (£3 an hour) for someone who also gets free food, accommodation and the experience of a different way of life. Many childminders do not earn £3 an hour.