How to keep up his mood and self worth

hulahoop09

It doesnt help that atm neither of us drive and so we have no travel costs as we both live within a little over a mile from our workplaces so we walk. Lol. The childminder is on way to my work for ease. Lol.

hulahoop09

pompeyrich wrote: »

Might be worth a few minutes trying various scenarios on the "entitled to" website. With tax credits and 2 kids, there is very little difference, financially, from earning £30,000 a year and doing the minimum at NMW and getting your money topped up with tax credits. 3 or 4 shifts between you and you should both be relaxed and stress free, no childcare costs.

Wow I see what you mean! Just been on there and if he were to take a drop down to 13-15k per year even after paying out bills and childcare we would have a big amount of money (approx £400-£500) left each month for nappies, clothing, better food and more electric in the winter, emergencies etc etc which is crazy! For the first year it is saying we would be entitled to a bit more pm (approx £80) as I was on smp for so many weeks which it takes into account. But I do worry that the government would sting us knowing our luck and we would end up worse off. Lol.

I have wrote it all down as I am due to go on smp so we couldnt afford to do it atm but this time next year looks as though we can get him outta there! Unless the tax credits we could get help with take a big drop in regards to the universal credit etc.

hulahoop09

I just find this really hard to comprehend. I messed about with different wages and then I input if hubby was to not work (previous year earning 19k and current year he was to earn say £0) and so we would have no childcare costs etc. Me earning £12k (30 hours per week). And it says we would be entitled to £1155 per month in working tax and child tax credits PLUS our council tax bill would be reduced from the £100pm we currently pay down to £20pm!! This means that if I worked and hubby didnt so he stayed at home to look after the children we would be left with about £800 per month AFTER bills etc. Surely that cant be right when paying childcare etc we would be left with something but at least a few hundred less paying someone else to look after our children. That is frightening!

pompeyrich

hulahoop09 wrote: »

I just find this really hard to comprehend. Surely that cant be right when paying childcare etc we would be left with something but at least a few hundred less paying someone else to look after our children. That is frightening!

It's crazy isn't it? Yet when you highlight the facts, you are accused of being a "Daily Mail reading so and so", too many people on a good thing, don't want their cover blown.

The problems that I can see is in 20 or so years, when the kids leave FTE, you will be approaching 50 with no work record and with no kids the benefit system is pretty lousy. If hubby stops work the Banks consider him "non status" so if you wanted or needed to move a mortgage might be tricky. Also I'm sure the cuts are going to be more severe in the future, the benefit payout is greater than the income from incme tax and NI and that won't be sustainable for long, surely.

hulahoop09

Well I can see that if he were to take a pay cut even down to 13-15k we will actually be left with approx 400-600pm left which lower end is what we would be left with if he stays where he is anyway. He certainly wont be giving up his job, he said male pride! Lmao. We have been woth halifax for mortgage for 5 yrs as I had bad cred history and we have just fixed for another 5 years for security. By the tme I am 50 mortgage will be paod off, so 20 yrs. Lol. Then its time to make home improvements and save for IF we retire which is highly unlikely. Xx

castortroy31

Ah... a thread after my own heart really...

I have just changed jobs and to a certain extent industry after 5 years at my previous role. And yes nearing the end I hated it, I spent as much time as possible trying not to do the work as I could. I would get into trouble for that but it was really bad people leaving all over the place, no support or direction by the management. I was never happy, I never had any enthusiasm to do my job properly or go the extra mile I mean why should I? The boss never said to us, youre doing a good job, the bigger boss never adressed that issue.

For me what the final straw was some tickets that I wanted to go watch my beloved football team. The company I used to work for had a box at wembley stadium and I knew that the box was free as no one was going to watch this game... it was the play off final for division one and yes I support yeovil town!

Anyway I asked one of the seniors to get me some tickets if they could, they didnt cost any money as the company already owned the box and i didnt have any hospitality. They told me no.. they couldnt do it due to cost reasons and so the box was empty. I worked for the company for 5 years with no payrise or bonus. i worked weekends and also 60+ hours a week includng weekends.

Anyway sorry I didnt mean to waffle on too much. When you work a job any job, there are certain things you need to think about IMO. 1- loyalty goes out of the window, if another company comes along with a better job and a more money then why not. You do not owe them anything....

2- You need to get out more of the job than they do-
So what I mean is that you need to learn and soak up all the knowledge you can. Learn things ask questions, speak to other people about your role and theirs learn as much as you can.

3-Dont sit on your laurels- look to do some more studying, external and internal courses, you constantly need to improve yourself and learn more. only by doing this will you earn more if you want it.

I think its great btw that all you OH are supportive, I am on my own and it would be great to have gone home and someone to make my life easier, or just someone to talk to.

Good luck guys, it will get better trust me on that.

hulahoop09

Ah wow thats terrible but so glad you got out!!!

He has been into work today and has found stock adjustments on the system inline with a stock take they did (the adjustments get sent to european office by the customer services manager to be made) and he is worried they are trying to force them out. He hates it there but it doesnt help that I am due to go on maternity leave next month and a few of the months we will have approx £200 left after all our bills but if he takes a paycut NOW this will end up in minus money left and we dont have anywhere we can cut back etc as we will already be doing while I am on maternity leave. I am so worried for him but also worried for our family life and he keeps saying I dont understand him that he hates it there and I just expect him to stick at it etc.

It caused a massive arguement yesterday in which we almost broke up. I feel physically stick as I have no control over the situation and dont know what to do for him.

castortroy31

Aiya....

Okay its a very difficult situation to be in since there is family involved.

first things first he needs to sit down and think what the issues are, if its just a horrible boss.. (I have had plenty of those...) then he has to be able to manage that the best he can.

I know its making him unhappy but without being harsh he needs to step it up for your and your familys sakes. He is so lucky that he has someone to support him properly.

For me when the bad times were there, I came home stressed and unhappy to no one and i had no one to talk about it too and had no money either.

he need to be pro active, sort out whats wrong at work or figure a way to do that... and then also spruce up his cv and work to find to a new job within his field. I know its hard with everything else but if you sit and be unhappy then it wont achieve anything right?

hulahoop09

His work are just terrible, I cant even list off all the issues as I could be here all day. Lol. We arent in a position for him to do a course etc as we would have to pay but the new manager of his dept where he works is putting him through a warehouse nvq and a team leader one. Hopefully that keeps him going for a while.

dandelionclock30

A lot of workplaces are absolutley terrible unfortunately. His options are to either suck it up or to get another job and leave. I would be helping him do his C.V, register with agencies,look on the internet every night etc at the job sites and ask his mates if there is anything going.That way he will feel that he is doing something to get out of there.
Also in your spare time make sure that your all having a break doing nice things etc. Its horrible when you are not happy in your job and I hope it doesnt get really bad for him to the point where he gets really depressed and refuses to go anymore.
I woud also suggest that he takes a lesser paid job thats better to get out of there if its that bad. Also if he starts displaying signs of serious depression I would be encouraging him to go to the DRS before he gets really ill.
I've been in your husbands place and its awful. Good luck with it all.