Am I silly for being upset?

milliemonster

Has she congratulated you verbally? By that I mean acknowledged your celebration in another way, by text, email, phone or whatever? If so, why does a card need to be sent aswell?, my best friend never sends me a card for my birthday, ever, but she always either texts, calls or even facebooks me a message, an acknowledgement is enough for me, there are far more I portent things in life to get uppity about

Abbafan1972

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Gosh, I didn't know there was such a thing as a new grandparent card.

It looks as if your friend's daughter has a closer relationship with your eldest, so that's probably why she gets cards and gifts for the eldest's children.

Your youngest is probably someone she knows, but doesn't feel so close to, and not close enough for present giving. Even if your friend is well off, she probably feels a line has to be drawn somewhere, as she'd be buying presents for every one she has an passing acquaintance with!

I wouldn't read to much in to it, just get on with getting to know the new arrival, and don't worry about it

I didn't know there was any such thing either.

I agree with what the others have said, perhaps she doesn't feel as close to this daughter? I wouldn't take it to heart.

fluffnutter

!!!!!!'s a 'new grandparents card'?? Obviously I can work that out, but seriously? The greetings card industry has a lot to answer for, IMO. It's creating situations whereby if you don't send some wanky card your mate thinks you don't like them any more. Madness.

OP, take the new baby round to your mate's and enjoy a nice cuppa together. All will be well.

duchy

I now feel guilty I didn't get one of my best friends a new grandparent card - I congratulated her but never even knew such a card existed (hopefully she doesn't either )

1940sGal

To be honest I think you are being a bit silly OP. To be upset that you didn't get a new grandparent card? Blimey! As someone else said, isn't the new arrival more important than a piece of paper? Can't you just enjoy the baby and being a grandparent without worrying about material things like cards and presents?

I'm sure the baby won't want for anything so a present from a friend is hardly a big deal.

Also, at the end of the day, she's YOUR friend, not your daughters.

Calien27

I had no clue there was such a thing as a new grandparent card either, but surely it's more of a "congrats on becoming a grandparent for the first time" thing and not something you'd get every time you actually become a grandparent.

Op, yes you are over reacting. Your friend has no obligation to buy your daughters gifts and cards for anything really, she has done so with one daughter because she actually has a bit of an individual friendship with her, she doesn't with the other one so she hasn't felt the need.

fluffnutter

I've got a fairly new baby. I did all the hard work, pushing the thing out, wiping its botty, being woken up a billion times a night for something to gnaw on my nipples etc. If someone had bought my mum a card congratulating her on MY efforts I'd have chucked it in the bin

pelirocco

Funnily enough smiler thing happened to me , we werent expecting a gift or card ( because thats not my thing either) but was puzzled that after i sent a text with a pic of my very new born grandson i didnt get a text back saying congrats or anything , in fact didnt hear anything from her for weeks . So i get how you find it upsetting , especially if seems she is favouring one daughter over the other

Some posters have given you a hard time , but i can see its not about the gift , to you it seems as tho she doesnt care about you

Try not to let it get to you ,

duchy

pelirocco wrote: »

Funnily enough smiler thing happened to me , we werent expecting a gift or card ( because thats not my thing either) but was puzzled that after i sent a text with a pic of my very new born grandson i didnt get a text back saying congrats or anything , in fact didnt hear anything from her for weeks . So i get how you find it upsetting , especially if seems she is favouring one daughter over the other

Some posters have given you a hard time , but i can see its not about the gift , to you it seems as tho she doesnt care about you

Try not to let it get to you ,

Usually there's a reason ....can be as simple as a lost phone or a deleted by accident before reading the text moment ...........or it can be that especially if someone doesn't yet have grandchildren either doesn't "get it" or is a bit jealous...and doesn't feel they can hide it so keeps their distance to avoid raining on your parade.

Frankly though it's very odd best friends that can't sort these things out as adults without needing a forum's advice.

maman

fluffnutter wrote: »

I've got a fairly new baby. I did all the hard work, pushing the thing out, wiping its botty, being woken up a billion times a night for something to gnaw on my nipples etc. If someone had bought my mum a card congratulating her on MY efforts I'd have chucked it in the bin

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

whitewing wrote: »

To me, a new grandparent card is for when you actually become grandparents rather than every time a grandchild is born. It doesn't mean that subsequent gc are less joyful than the first.

I did buy one of my friends one of these cards because it helped to cheer her up. She so wanted to celebrate the birth but her DS has become a 'yuppy' (do they still exist?;)) and seemed to be keeping her at arm's length. I only did it for the first grandchild though. I've never bought one for anyone else, friends or family.

I do think you're over-reacting OP. It's her choice. Maybe it'll dent your friendship a little because she's upset you but think hard whether you want to bring it up and risk the friendship altogether.