If I move in with partner are we up the creek?

countingpennies_2

Hi all

My question is if I were to move in with my new chap in the future will I be totally reliant on him financially?

Brief history - I have two children form a previous relationship, have always worked but the childcare costs would pretty much zap my whole earnings were it not for the Tax Credits. (in the holidays when they're both in full time it does cost more than I earn!)
My new chap earns a decent salary (approx £27/28,000 gross but pays 11% into pension) and has a mortgage (the mortgage repayments leave him with not alot in the kitty at the end of the month)

Can anyone help? I have looked on the entitledto calculator but didn't know if anyone had personal experience of this tricky situation! I don't want to push this financial burden onto him as he's already taking on enough of a challenge!!

Many thanks in advance

hilstep2000

You will have to tell the Tax Credit people, and they will take his salary into account. You also have to tell Housing Benefit and Council Tax benefit.
My partner and I have been together six years, but don't live together, simply because as a single mum, I'd lose all my tax credits and Council tax benefit, and he shouldn't have to support my kids!
It's really a case of personal choice, if your bf is wiling to take financial responsibility, then great. Have a discussion about it first.

will1974

Hi

Just been in a similar situation. Have moved in with partner and have financially never been so poor!!

Partner earns a good wage but he has a mortgage and credit card bills and bills to pay like everyone else, so he does not have much left at the end of the month either.

I work part time and before when I was single my WTC and CTC really bumped up my wages, now together we earn too much and so get no WTC at all, I get £30 a week for CTC based on the fact that child care will cost me £50 a day in kids club for the summer holidays, so I will have to save this £30 a week anyway, just to pay for the holidays..

So, I do sympathise and wish you all the best.I would advise that you sit down and do a budget plan and see if you can survive on what wages you have coming in and try and work it out not having to rely on WTC and CTC,
That way anything you get from them is a bonus.

Good luck hope it works out for you.

kelloggs36

Are you able to claim maintenace from your ex, or does he already?

Jet

hilstep2000 wrote: »

My partner and I have been together six years, but don't live together, simply because as a single mum, I'd lose all my tax credits and Council tax benefit, and he shouldn't have to support my kids!

Don't you come as a package? Whilst I do believe their natural father should be putting his hand in his pocket first, surely anyone that loves you will care for your kids too and will be happy to support them in everyway?

sunshinejoclaire

http://www.entitledto.co.uk/ should help you work out what you finances would be like if you moved in together :money:

countingpennies_2

Hi all

Thanks for your responses. We will have to have a good hard think about it all! It's a nightmare! Once you're stuck "in the system" you can't dig yourself out!

loopydonna

hilstep2000 wrote: »

My partner and I have been together six years, but don't live together, simply because as a single mum, I'd lose all my tax credits and Council tax benefit, and he shouldn't have to support my kids!

Just to be controversial - why should taxpayers have to support your kids?

If it's a stable relationship which I'm assuming it is after 6 years, he should be happy to help you bring up the children in all aspects of their lives, including supporting you all financially.

I was a single parent but have subsquently moved in with someone. Yes I did lose a lot of what I was claiming in benefits as he works full time. However, we're better off as a couple as the children have a full time father now, who plays with them, helps with homework etc., and he helps me around the house so I get more time to spend with them too.

OP - as well as working out what is best financially, think of all the other things your partner moving in will bring that will benefit your family.

liney

You might be slightly worse off financially, but no worse than every other husband and wife in the country.

Try using the entitledto.com calculator with your partners wages as well as yours as a guide?

As loopydonna says, wouldnt living as a family make up for the financial side?

bestpud

It can be difficult I know, but I think he should really see you as a package too, especially after 6 years.

In response to earlier posts suggesting it is wrong to live apart, decisions like this can be as much to do with the circumstances surrounding previous relationship breakdowns as the financial implications. Not saying that is the case here, but for some mothers, it is hard to give up their 'own' financial security and independence.

On the financial note - it's hard but it's something you have to do, or live apart until your children leave school. Any cut in income is tough for a while, but you'll soon adjust. Just talk it over thoroughly before you make a move and make sure you both know where you are.

As said already, the benefits of being a family will probably outweigh the financial cost anyway.

Good luck

Bestpud