Is This Right?

more_money_for_me

Went to register our daughters birth yesterday, and have a question regarding information from registrar. My partner and I are not married and the registrar was very keen for my partner to register the new baby in her surname, we explained that our other daughter has my surname already and that we would be registering the new baby with my surname again, the thinking being that we will get married and hence we wouldn't need to change childrens names. She continued to point out to my partner that it is easier to register the child with the fathers name then change it if you get married , can't see how but anyway. She then said to my partner "is this the father" which made us both laugh later as if I wasn't she was hardly going to tell the registrar having 'persuaded' me to put my name on the birth certificate, she then started having trouble with her computer, so rather than explain/apologise for this she just started making phone calls to try to sort it out, leaving us sitting looking at each other. I went out of the room after a bit as her rudeness was starting to irritate me and my older daughter was getting bored, after I had gone out the registrar who obviously dissaproved of our unmarried (for 12 years) status and my partners decision not to register the children in her name, told my partner that if we did get married later we would need to re-register our childrens births to show that my partner grants full parental rights. I have never heard of this, but can anyone tell me any different.

misswig

more_money_for_me wrote: »

Went to register our daughters birth yesterday, and have a question regarding information from registrar. My partner and I are not married and the registrar was very keen for my partner to register the new baby in her surname, we explained that our other daughter has my surname already and that we would be registering the new baby with my surname again, the thinking being that we will get married and hence we wouldn't need to change childrens names. She continued to point out to my partner that it is easier to register the child with the fathers name then change it if you get married , can't see how but anyway. She then said to my partner "is this the father" which made us both laugh later as if I wasn't she was hardly going to tell the registrar having 'persuaded' me to put my name on the birth certificate, she then started having trouble with her computer, so rather than explain/apologise for this she just started making phone calls to try to sort it out, leaving us sitting looking at each other. I went out of the room after a bit as her rudeness was starting to irritate me and my older daughter was getting bored, after I had gone out the registrar who obviously dissaproved of our unmarried (for 12 years) status and my partners decision not to register the children in her name, told my partner that if we did get married later we would need to re-register our childrens births to show that my partner grants full parental rights. I have never heard of this, but can anyone tell me any different.

How very rude of her:mad: What business is it of hers how you call your daughter?

As for re registering the children once you get married- if they have your surname anyway, why have to reregister them in the same names?? It doesn't make sense.

As far as i am aware, as from Sept 03, fathers of children born out of wedlock after this dateautomatically have full PR

It may be that the registrar disapproved of your unmarried status and was being completely unprofesional

Vxx

madmum33

I'm totally amazed!!!!! How rude!!!!!!

Our eldest daughter was born before we married, she was registered with her dads name. I've always assumed that her dad had full parental rights since his name was on her birth certificate.

mrs_mix

How rude of her
we had the boy's before we married and we registered them with my husbands surname and we asked about my name being different on their certificates and the registrar siad it doesn't matter you do not need to re-register them
but she did say if they we're registered in my name we would have to re-register them after we married
hth

pam

bumpybecky

How rude! none of her business what you want to call your baby really :rolleyes:

We were told we'd need to re-register dd1 and dd2, as although they had their father's surname, we were not married when they we born. This was because they were born in 1998 and 2000 though so DH didn't get parental responsibility even though his name is on the certificate.

madmum33

I found this:

http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/births/parentalresponsibility/index.asp

According to this, if you marry the childs mother you automatically obtain parental responsibility.

pboae

If two parents later marry the status of the child changes, and the child should be re-registered (with form LA1). At the stage of re-registration the childs surname can be changed (usually to that of the father, although it can be to another name if the married couple use a different surname or comabination of names).

Before 2003 an unmarried father could get paretnal rights be marrying the mother, but now they get them by being registered on the birth certificate.

Kelinik

We had both our girls before we married and registered them in my now hubbys name without any problems, no one even questioned it!

that's_another_fine_mess!

I had a sort of opposite problem- I wanted to register my daughter in my partner (her dad's) name but the registrar warned me that, if I did, she couldn't ever subsequently revert to my name, for instance if we split up in the future and I had other children and wanted all their surnames to be the same as mine. I'd always thought you could have any surname you want if you changed it by deed poll, but apparently not. She also said that, if my partner upset my daughter at some point in the future, for instance he went off and had children with someone else, my daughter might not want to still have his name and wouldn't be able to have mine. Just to complicate matters further, she also said that my having a different surname to my daughter would make it more difficult for me to act on her behalf, for instance in setting up bank accounts for her. All very confusing...

Apparently if I marry partner my daughter can automatically change her name to his without deed poll or whatever. As we were rather put on the spot by this unexpected information, we settled for a double barrelled surname but only use his part of it, just as we intended to do in the first place. I must admit I feel a bit daft when I have appointments and they read out my daughter's full name, as it's pretty long, but day to day it's fine!

daphne_descends

that's_another_fine_mess! wrote: »

I had a sort of opposite problem- I wanted to register my daughter in my partner (her dad's) name but the registrar warned me that, if I did, she couldn't ever subsequently revert to my name, for instance if we split up in the future and I had other children and wanted all their surnames to be the same as mine.

After my mum divorced my dad and reverted to her maiden name, I changed my surname by deed poll to my mums 'new' (old!) name.

Psykicpup

My word!
I registered mine (pre-marriage) in their fathers name as we had always planned to marry, no problems -but he had to be present.But that was 1985 + 1987:eek: (we married a month before youngest's 1st B'day)
I would have been very insulted if I had been asked if (if I was male) I was the father!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It seems from the above posts that society is geared up to assume that the relationship wont last!- in fact thats what the registar implied - how rude!

Sorry I couldnt be more help on the legalities tho!:o