Moved out of home, now OH wont give me half the house value.

blueybug

Valli wrote: »

In the first post OP said she wanted half the house.

Now she only wants £25K

If her husband has any sense he will give her that and get a declaration to show she's accepted it in full and final settlement!

He has NO sense thats the problem, he was the "bad guy" but I'm letting it slip and want to move away with a settlement of 25K.

blueybug

neneromanova wrote: »

Might be a bit personal and I'm sorry, but how old are you?

38 yrs of age (with my own teeth but grey hair)

neneromanova

What you have to think is in 30 years, will you have enough money to buy your own place again and be mortgage free when you retire? If not, I'd be looking at going for half the property so you have a lovely big deposit for a little house that's all your own.

I really wouldn't let him walk away with the whole house + Pension + House stuff. I would say Half the property amount or I'll go for half of everything (pension included)

Valli

I had this with my ex; he wouldn't 'listen' to anything I said - anger (or whatever) meant he just couldn't take it in.

Have you told him what you want - in terms of

"The house is worth £140k. In three years time the mortgage will be paid off. If we agree on a divorce settlement and keep the costs as low as possible and we get my name off the mortgage I will accept a payoff of £30K to include the legal fees and that will be it. I won't go after half your pension; the house will be yours. Think about it and come back to me"

Then he might just get some advice or ask his mates and hopefully someone will tell him he would be a fool not to snap your hand off.

In other words, OP, plant the seed ... and wait for it to germinate;)

I'm assuming you have your own pension arrangement BTW.

Incidentally a mate of DDs parents split up. She wanted out - so out she walked - left him the house and everything in it, because it was her choice to go. There is nothing FORCING you to go for half.

blueybug

I think I'm too bloody soft!!

sassyblue

blueybug wrote: »

I think I'm too bloody soft!!

I think you are, l would be asking or £50k if he could afford to pay that amount off before he retires.

You are daft to ask for so little and he's daft for not snapping your hand off! YOU helped pay for that house for so long too.

BitterAndTwisted

You are too bloody soft!

I'd be asking for half of everything as a starting-point and settling for less if that's what I wanted and thought was fair. Then you look like the good guy and not a grasping, embittered harpy out for everything they can get.

My sister asked for 33% of her ex-husband's pension and not half of it (mainly because she felt guilty about leaving to be with someone else after 30 years of marriage). A pension that they'd both agreed to sink every last spare penny into because her own pension was worth a great deal less than his. He argued the toss endlessly about dropping it down to 30%. And she gave in to avoid completely destroying any possibility of dealing with each other sensibly while their two kids were in Uni and needed financial support from them both. He stills feel hard done by even now. 70% of his pension is going to be a great deal of money to him quite soon.

You've got to prioritise your own future financial security here. The difference between 25 and 70 grand is absolutely HUGE

diable

Seek advice from a solicitor and go from there, if you both had worked hard and paid the mortgage and invested in the property then you should both have an equal share in it and split the proceeds equally.

Don't be soft when it comes to money as if you get what is owed to you then it will make your life that much easier moving forward.