How much board would you charge a 17 year old?

Pennysmakepounds

Being a parent myself now, I do find it sad that it’s come down to this for most families.

Charging your OWN offspring to live under your roof.

It’s a cycle, you ask your children – They will in turn expect the same from theirs….and so on and so on…..

ailuro2

I suggest you leave him with the same amount of money as your son if they work similar hours. Sit down and workout the extra cost of him being there. Then if there is anything left use that to buy him clothes, kit he needs for school etc. If there is any money left over when he goes off to uni it will be a great surprise for him.

Keep a notebook with a list of things you buy for him and a tally of what it cost, just to keep it all clear and separate from the family finances. Poor lad, you can pick your friends but not your family. Bless you for helping out.

balletshoes

Pennysmakepounds wrote: »

Being a parent myself now, I do find it sad that it’s come down to this for most families.

Charging your OWN offspring to live under your roof.

It’s a cycle, you ask your children – They will in turn expect the same from theirs….and so on and so on…..

erm - Jellyhead isn't charging her own offspring?

Dunroamin

Pennysmakepounds wrote: »

Being a parent myself now, I do find it sad that it’s come down to this for most families.

Charging your OWN offspring to live under your roof.

It’s a cycle, you ask your children – They will in turn expect the same from theirs….and so on and so on…..

I do hope that you're not being negative about young workers paying their way within thir family.

jellyhead

ailuro2 wrote: »

I suggest you leave him with the same amount of money as your son if they work similar hours. Sit down and workout the extra cost of him being there. Then if there is anything left use that to buy him clothes, kit he needs for school etc. If there is any money left over when he goes off to uni it will be a great surprise for him.

Keep a notebook with a list of things you buy for him and a tally of what it cost, just to keep it all clear and separate from the family finances. Poor lad, you can pick your friends but not your family. Bless you for helping out.

Goo idea

I keep my finances on spreadsheets etc. but I didn't want to make him feel like a burden, so I'd have to do it just for myself and my husband's eyes

He works more hours than my son and is a lot more focused and ambitious. There's almost a year's age difference between them despite them being in the same class at school. My son doesn't have the drive to work extra hours and doesn't have the same motivation. He's a lovely boy, but is erm, lazy. He did D of E though, and is volunteering in the holidays so I'm happy with that. The other boy deserves to have more spending money because he works harder.

I've been talking to some family and friends about it and most people reckon that I should take the IS and leave him with all of his wages to spend. I will work out if I am overcharging him though, and either give him the difference for uni or get something extra for his 18th.

jellyhead

Pennysmakepounds wrote: »

Being a parent myself now, I do find it sad that it’s come down to this for most families.

Charging your OWN offspring to live under your roof.

It’s a cycle, you ask your children – They will in turn expect the same from theirs….and so on and so on…..

He's not my offspring. I live according to my means and would not have had more children than I could afford to bring up. I see the 16-18 bit (or up to 19, depending on where their birthday is within the academic year) as part of their childhood that parents are responsible for funding, and indeed they are given child benefit and tax credits for it depending on their situation.

If he was mine I'd be given money by the government, unless I was a higher rate taxpayer in which case I'd be able to afford more than 2 children anyway.

He's been given income support to pay for food, lighting, heating, clothing, etc. which I am providing for him.

I do not agree with charging A-level students board money. Perhaps the thread title is misleading.

BitterAndTwisted

What would I do?

I'd ask him to hand over all of his IS bar a tenner, which equates to the pocket-money your son gets from you. His wages he gets to keep because he's earned it, and that's money your son could earn for himself if he wanted to.

From his £27 a week he needs to finance all of his outgoings like clothes, shoes etcetera and savings for this much-desired lap-top.

I'm sure you'll be able to put this to him in a way that explains the situation, rather than you repeating the behaviour of his family in ruthlessly extricating every last penny from him. If he's not aware that you can't afford to support him fully from your family's income he needs to be told as gently as possible.

BitterAndTwisted

Pennysmakepounds wrote: »

Being a parent myself now, I do find it sad that it’s come down to this for most families.

Charging your OWN offspring to live under your roof.

It’s a cycle, you ask your children – They will in turn expect the same from theirs….and so on and so on…..

I don't think it has "come down to this for most families" but if it has I see nothing wrong with young people who earn a full-time wage making a contribution to the household finances. If it costs kids nothing to live at home they are less likely to value it and of course, they are less likely to want spread their wings, move out and live independently. It's not a good life-lesson to encourage kids believe they're entitled to a free-ride whether their parents can afford to indulge them or not.

jellyhead

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

What would I do?

I'd ask him to hand over all of his IS bar a tenner, which equates to the pocket-money your son gets from you. His wages he gets to keep because he's earned it, and that's money your son could earn for himself if he wanted to.

From his £27 a week he needs to finance all of his outgoings like clothes, shoes etcetera and savings for this much-desired lap-top.

I'm sure you'll be able to put this to him in a way that explains the situation, rather than you repeating the behaviour of his family in ruthlessly extricating every last penny from him. If he's not aware that you can't afford to support him fully from your family's income he needs to be told as gently as possible.

Thanks

His I/S is £12 short due to wages, so that's pretty much similar to taking the £56.20 he'd get if he wasn't working, and giving him £10 back in pocket money.

I buy basics for my son such as supermarket jeans, socks and boxers so I'd do the same for both. My son gets new trainers every 6 months for birthdays and christmas, how exciting So they don't NEED to spend money on clothes, but they buy the things that are wants rather than needs.

He will also get a £1200 bursary from 6th form but he can buy things like a computer, bike etc. from that, all the things that most kids his age already have from past christmas and birthday presents, past saving up of wages and pocket money etc.

I suppose I was just worried that asking for the £44 was too much, however it's not just for food.

Poppy9

jellyhead wrote: »

I suppose I was just worried that asking for the £44 was too much, however it's not just for food.

No it's not too much as it's not just food but even food for one more can add up quite quickly and it's probably about an extra £20 a week.

On top of this if you are treating him as a member of the family, which you seem to be, then the odd day out plus treats need to be paid for so the small extra you have will go towards this.

In addition you have another bed to furnish, may need new bedding plus you have to launder it. Normally one extra person will generate at least one load of washing a week and that means more wear and tear on machine, electric, washing powder etc. These all add up.

Seems very harsh that his IS is reduced by his earnings at such a low level when he is working and in full time education.

From his money he will have to pay for his own days out with friends, mobile phone top up plus as you say wants.

I would ask his Social Worker if there is a grant available (or if there are any charities) that will provide you with a grant to buy him the basics like a new bed, bedding and if he is clothes poor basics of undies/uniform etc.

I know in my LA there is a local charity adminstered by them that Social Workers submit a bid too. It's not income based, it's need based and from the info. you have given if this came before the cttee it would be approved. They buy things like cots/prams/washing machines/beds/bedding/carpets etc. if it's supporting children as that is the purpose of the charity.

Also ask about support for "care leavers" as that is technically what he is if SS are not paying you Foster Care allowance. Have you asked if you can be his Foster parent?