Getting someone to pay me back...

dellfanatic

How do you politely remind someone they owe you for something you paid for? For example, yesterday we (students sharing house) ordered takeaway, some ordered chinese, two of us went indian. Usually he'll pay me back eventually if I pay for something (e.g. delivery) after I've reminded him a couple of times and I always pay him back straight away if he pays for something. Today we had the takeaways delivered, I paid the driver, he was with me, but didn't say anything and even back in the house didn't say anything about going halves. I'm leaving to go back home in three days (end of final year so won't see him again) and I even stopped by his room earlier, he asked me how I liked the meal, then I changed and talked about the discount code I used hoping he'd "remember" to give me the cash. But he didn't, and hasn't mentioned at all. It's weird and for some reason I feel awkward in being direct and asking for the cash... how would you say it?

jonesMUFCforever

Could he be absolutely skint?
I se no other way than to politely ask for the money and see what response you get.

dellfanatic

It just feels weird to have to ask him so directly, not had to do this before and it's awkward because we've known each other ages too I'll just be direct, but polite. Thanks again, I feel a dork having to post this type of question in the first place

Ytaya

You could just say, "Oh, by the way, have you got that money for your half of the takeaway? I need to do some shopping later." or something similar. Keep it casual

shelly

Its a tricky one and its a situation I hate to be in myself. You say in your post that he mentioned nothing about going halves, maybe he thinks you are paying for it all. If he had said he would pay something towards it I would ask casually for the money but as he hasn't mentioned it I wouldn't bother as he might not think he owes you anything.
I have now learned a lesson. Don't pay for someone elses half if you can't afford to lose the cash or the friend

dellfanatic

There's no reason for him to think I'm paying for it all, last time we ordered he said ''we'll go halves yeah" and I was thinking, well, erm yeah, you're not paying for my part are you :rotfl:

We're getting something today so I'll just get him to order and I'll have something at or above what he owes me, and then settle any difference. He's just being weird lately... dunno what's up but it's not a question of cash flow, there's plenty of cash for the 12-pack of budweiser he bought yesterday... honestly some students need to get a grip on what uni is all about :rolleyes:

Emmy33

I hate this sort of situation. When I used to share with a friend I would leave the phone bill out on the table, hoping she'd notice it rather than asking her for her half. I don't know why, but I get embarrassed asking people for money that they owe me or for things that they've borrowed and forgotten to return. I am now extremely wary about lending to people because I have come to realise that not everyone thinks like I do and some people take adavantage.

Since you aren't going to see him again though, I think you should try to be brave and ask him directly. Easier said than done, I know!

z4kir

In a similar problem... moved into new flat sharing between 5 of us, we decided to get cable tv and broadband, and being the fool I am set it all up and got it in my name. Asked everyone to set up standing orders of the equal cut amount. No one ever did, left a note on the fridge and even included it in emails to them all on a monthly basis, again no1 bothered.

1st housemate was responsible for collecting the money for the electricity, so instead of paying him I just took off the amount of my share of the elec bill.

2nd housemate has casually been paying me which i'm fine with.

3rd housemate left uni in January and arranged for another friend to move into his room, the newbie carried on paying his share but original housemate still owes me £15...

4th housemate is a pain in the bloddy !!!!! When we moved in she said her bf (also a student) would be living with us for 2 weeks till he found a place to live. Well now its the end of the yr and he never did found a place! Been with us the whole time! We decided he would pay a 1/6th of the bills instead. They've both paid their shares of the Elec bills, but I've never seen a penny for the cable, they both owe me £75 each... throughout the yr have been telling them to pay but its always been one excuse after the other, terms finished and they've gone Barcelona for a few days, not moved out yet but still no sign of my money.

Been emailing all the housemates throughout the yr with a full spreadsheet showing how much I've paid, how much I've got back and how much is owed individually... haven't heard a peep from them. We haven't talked for about 3 odd weeks now, had a falling out about something else... but I hope I get my money.

Worst part is I'm the only flatmate who's had 0 help from parents (apart from the odd £10 when I went home, just didn't want to be a financial burden on them) and supported myself by working part time, while everyone else seems to spend all there student loan on alcohol whereas mine paid for a roof over my head.

Moral of the story, if your a student... never never never never lend money! Let someone else sort it out, I hate to be selfish.. it's not me atall but it's the only way to survive student life!

dellfanatic

Sorted - just ordered the same on Friday and he paid for it, so we're even now, and he left for home today. I don't think it was malicious, he's just a bit of an idiot (meant in a nice way!)

z4kir - what my housemate used to do was get the bill as soon as it came through the post, calculate what everyone owed and then went to ask for money when people were still in their rooms reading/playing computer games etc. that way you'll be in control over when you leave once you have the money. It's your money and you shouldn't let it go - think where £150 could get you - 150 ice creams, or 100 pints down the local! :T Don't let them get away with it!!!!

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

Ytaya wrote: »

You could just say, "Oh, by the way, have you got that money for your half of the takeaway? I need to do some shopping later." or something similar. Keep it casual

be really casual about it...., like 'ytaya' said ...and say eg have you that Tenner you owe me as it will save me a trip to the ATM

z4kir

Bit of an update on my problems with my (now ex) 4th housemate I mentioned above:

4th housemate is a pain in the bloddy !!!!! When we moved in she said her bf (also a student) would be living with us for 2 weeks till he found a place to live. Well now its the end of the yr and he never did found a place! Been with us the whole time! We decided he would pay a 1/6th of the bills instead. They've both paid their shares of the Elec bills, but I've never seen a penny for the cable, they both owe me £75 each... throughout the yr have been telling them to pay but its always been one excuse after the other, terms finished and they've gone Barcelona for a few days, not moved out yet but still no sign of my money.

Been emailing all the housemates throughout the yr with a full spreadsheet showing how much I've paid, how much I've got back and how much is owed individually... haven't heard a peep from them. We haven't talked for about 3 odd weeks now, had a falling out about something else... but I hope I get my money.

Basically tenancy for the flat ended on 30th June. She moved out whilst I was at work, so I never saw her and no money was left for me.
I've tried calling her for weeks before but it would go straight to answer machine, emailed her several times and even left messages on facebook for both her and her boyfriend. (Both these messages have been deleted off their walls!)

We've all now moved out and still no word from her, I had a feeling this would happen so I snuck into her room when she was abroad and found her address on some paperwork, have also just found her bf's address aswell...

I'm now considering writing letters to them, in the style of the bank reclaim templates (ie formal and assertive) is this the best way to do it? I'll happily take this matter to court (through Money Claim site).. do I give them 14 days initially and then give another 14 days with threat of court action?