When did you decide to try for family?

sterl1ng

At 35 I'm being increasingly made aware that my biological clock is ticking so now I'm starting to wonder whether OH should start trying, but we want to settled in jobs and ave bought a house first but now I feel time ticking and my mother (not to mention his mother) don't help!

Counting_Pennies_2

It is good to be able to ensure you are able to support yourselves and a family.

Fertility does on average start to deteriorate around about the age of 35 and it can become harder to conceive.

However, for some no matter how early they try they can't and others are way into their 40s and easily fall pregnant.

I think it has to be at a time that feels right for yourselves. Having a baby is not a right, and does not happen for everyone, so make sure you have a happy life that will benefit a child if you are lucky to have one, and try for one when the time feels right and not when someone tells you to.

Taking on a baby is a huge commitment, they stay a baby for a very short period of time then become an often lovely but challenging addition to your life. Your life will be very different for the next few decades, so it has to be right. You should ideally be in the right place in your life to try.

That does not mean you have to be in your forever home. Perhaps as long as there are enough bedrooms for you to have a separate one for baby, that you are in a position that you can cope for up to a year with one salary, and that you can afford the childcare costs, or to stay at home.

To be happy, healthy and content with your life is the best way to bring a child into the world.

hth

pigpen

A lot sooner than most people would think I should have done.

continualdiamond

I'm 31 and hubby is 30 and we're expecting our 1st baby in September. We wanted the house dream and still do but after finding out last year our 2 bedroom flat was in negative equity we had no choice but to stay put.

So we decided last October to start trying for a family and were realistic that it could take awhile. Fast forward to December and hubby was told his section of the company were all being made redundant in the February.

Just the news you want at xmas.

Come the middle of January we found out I was pregnant, so pretty much fell pregnant at the time hubby was told about being made redundant.

So we were both settled in jobs, okay didn't have the house but have a spare room to turn into a baby's room when we decided to try for a family, but when it came to finding out we were in fact becoming a family circumstances had changed.

I consider myself to be extremely lucky to have fallen pregnant, let alone so quickly. A colleague of mine spent a lot of money on 2 failed attempts at IVF and then fell pregnant naturally, however the money they spent means she has to return to work from maternity leave a lot sooner than she would of liked.

So no ideal plan exists really, just got to do what is right for you as a couple.

Gloomendoom

sterl1ng wrote: »

At 35 I'm being increasingly made aware that my biological clock is ticking so now I'm starting to wonder whether OH should start trying, but we want to settled in jobs and ave bought a house first but now I feel time ticking and my mother (not to mention his mother) don't help!

Just your OH?

It doesn't work like that.

vl2588

I'm 31 and my gynaecologist told me not to wait! If you're sure you want children I would tend to agree that now is the best time! Assuming it feels right for you, that is!

Annisele

sterl1ng wrote: »

At 35 I'm being increasingly made aware that my biological clock is ticking so now I'm starting to wonder whether OH should start trying, but we want to settled in jobs and ave bought a house first but now I feel time ticking and my mother (not to mention his mother) don't help!

Do you actually want children? You say you're being "made aware" your biological clock is ticking rather than that you keenly feel it yourself, and you're talking about your OH trying for children (as others have said, that's something that takes two...).

How long do you think it will take you to feel settled and to have bought a house? If the answer is six months, you might as well start trying now - it's unlikely you'll get pregnant straight away, and even if you do you get nine months to get things sorted. If you think it'll take ten years to feel settled and buy a house, then I still think you should start trying now - if you want children, it's risky to wait until 45.