Fraud?

smithyj012

I am not sure if this is in the right thread but I didn't know where else to put it. This is something that I have been struggling with for a while. Basically, before me and my boyfriend moved in together, his mom sorted his finances. A little strange I thought, but my boyfriend was always busy with work and not very organised. She was apparently putting half of his wages into a savings account and leaving him the other half to spend. I'd like to add that my boyfriend was not living with his parents, he lived with me at my parents house.

Anyway, 2 years ago he purchased his grans house. The gran being his maternal grandmother. So yet again his mom carried on dealing with his finances. As my boyfriend is the sole owner of the house and pays the majority of the bills, I didn't really kick up a fuss. Then last September we had a letter from Lloyds Tsb, informing us that my boyfriend was £900 over his already £3000 overdraft limit. He was not aware he even had an overdraft limit. I quickly took control of the finances and began to look back through the bank statements. I found that we had had over £35,000 in loans. £20,000 of which was added to the mortgage, the rest in overdrafts and loans. My boyfriend was aware £10,000 had been added to the mortgage for home improvements and that there were some extra loans, but he didn't know anything about the extra £10,000 or the overdraft. The majority of the money had been transferred into his moms bank account over the course of 18 months.

She had also purchased a car from us, but instead of cash being exchanged she had brought our kitchen. I later found that the kitchen had been put on finance and as you can probably guess...it was being paid for by my boyfriend. What I would like to know is, is there anything that we can do about this legally to find out exactly what she has been doing? I doubt there is any chance of getting the money back as she had the passwords to the online banking which my boyfriend had given her. But this has obviously been going on for years. There is no evidence my boyfriend ever had a savings account, she appears to have just been having half his wages a week for herself.

I know that she has remortgaged her house and that she has spent all of the grans money that she received when we bought the house off her. The only likely explanation for the disappearance of so much money is that she is gambling because there is nothing to show for it.

I am afraid that if something is not done then she may steal from other people as I think she would do anything to hide away the fact that she is in so much debt. If anybody has got any advice on this matter I would be extremely grateful

fiesta04

Please edit your post into paragraphs, to make it easier to read. You are likely to get more responses.

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brendon

Could you prove anything? If your boyfriend has given his mother bank passwords, etc, then you can't -- all records will show up as being authorised by him. And, in a way, they have. He has authorised his mother to act on his behalf. It's quite staggering to think that he would just let someone manage his finance like this. First his mother, and now you have 'took control'. It sounds like he just doesn't care about his finances at all.

First of all, I'd make sure that things have been stolen. You need to do a detailed analysis of where money has gone, how much has come back from the same source.

grumbler

Order the credit files from all CRAs to get information on all the debts. Then take control over all accounts and make sure that she can't get any more credit on his name.

smithyj012

Brendon, my partner works very long hours actually. He lives to work which is why he let someone who he trusted deal with financial matters.

Its not that he 'just doesn't care' about his finances, he is just very laid back and trusting and just assumed his mom was doing him a favour. He's only in his early twenties now. This is years of deception we're talking about. He thought it was normal and I agree that it isn't, but he had no reason to believe that she was stealing from him.

Of course I have gone into depth when analysing the bank accounts. I couldn't quite believe it, so I have checked and double checked. Both incoming and outgoing. The reason my partner will not look is because he is deeply upset and hurt by what has happened.

I have also found printed statements that she has written on that indicate that she had intended to take the money as a type of loan as I assume she cannot get one herself. She has never attempted to pay it back though that is clear.

I know we will in all likelihood never see the money again because she has clearly got money issues of some description, and you can't get blood out of a stone. I just wondered if anybody out there had had any similar experiences. My partner and I have a baby and the money we had was intended for home improvements. We've got no chance obviously but I thought it was worth asking

matttye

brendon wrote: »

Could you prove anything? If your boyfriend has given his mother bank passwords, etc, then you can't -- all records will show up as being authorised by him. And, in a way, they have. He has authorised his mother to act on his behalf. It's quite staggering to think that he would just let someone manage his finance like this. First his mother, and now you have 'took control'. It sounds like he just doesn't care about his finances at all.

First of all, I'd make sure that things have been stolen. You need to do a detailed analysis of where money has gone, how much has come back from the same source.

The theft of money is not authorised just because you allow someone to access your account. The accountant at my office is allowed to access the business accounts, but she can't just help herself to money!

Like you say though, it could be somewhat difficult to prove. A county court would assess the situation on the 'balance of probabilities' and I suspect it could all boil down to who gives the better evidence.

xylophone

You are now living in the house originally owned by the grandmother? If not, who is?

Has your boyfriend now changed all passwords on his accounts?

Is he going to tackle his mother about her use of his money?

UnderPressure

Well you have a baby with this man so he must have a pair what you need to do is make him stand up and use them!! Crikey he can be as upset as he wishes, at the end of the day he has ended up in the mess by trusting somebody else to deal with his finances so why on earth would he want now someone else to sort this mess out!

For all he knows you might be 1 missed mortgage payment away from losing your home he really needs to stop sobbing and take some responsibility and do some growing up!

There are lots of poster on here that could offer you the right advise but unless he is the one asking I really do not see the point of anyone wasting their time, I wish you well I really do but kick a** springs to mind!

smithyj012

Did I say he was sobbing? I said he was upset not crying about it. As far as he is concerned the money is gone. End of. He's out there making some more not sitting about moping. I wanted to seek advice so I could then advise him. He works hard, I thought it might cheer him up a bit. He thinks its a waste of time asking because there is nothing he can do about it. You haven't got to get all b****y talking about his b*****ks and stuff have you? Its a bit unnecessary.

We are now living in the house originally owned by his grandmother. All passwords were changed. The thing is, I don't think that she has all of her mental faculties. He challenged her about it, asked her where it had all gone and she said he'd spent it. Despite the evidence to the contrary. Then she disappeared for a few days and we thought she might have done herself in. Ridiculously, we felt guilty then. She started paying a small amount of cash back monthly, but its just a drop in the ocean really. She found any excuse not to pay it and now she has just stopped altogether. To top it off she's my neighbour, so I see her all the time.

Like I say, admittedly it looks pretty hopeless with regards to getting any money back. It was worth a try at least. I suppose what goes around comes around and she'll end up in a lot of trouble eventually. We'll just have to pay the debt off and take it as a lesson learned. Oh well...

matttye

You could report all of the loans and stuff opened in his name as fraudulent.

Might get his mother in heaps of trouble if the police get involved, which they may do for the amounts involved.

That's a lot of debt to pass off as 'lesson learned' !

fiesta04

I feel you may have a few problems ahead. Please keep in control from now on.

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