seperation advice needed plz

unhappytoday

hi everyone any advice will be appreciated
my wife and i have just separated after more than 23 years of marriage i have worked all my life up until 18 months ago when i came out of work i never claimed any benefits my wife and i decided i should take some time off while she fast tracked her career she worked long hours and never had to do anything in the house and i mean nothing we had a good lifestyle really no debt an income of £3000 per 4 weeks and a nice bonus at the end of the year now she has got to were she wants she has packed up and left me with no job a large rented property i have just put a claim for benefits etc but with everything i can receive will not even cover the rent i am in the process of trying to find a job and i no i will have to find somewhere else to live but all this takes time i feel depressed buy all this and not sure where i stand any advice guys please
regards paul

marisco_2

I am really sorry to hear of your troubles. It must have come as an awful shock to you when your wife suddenly decided to up and leave. It is small wonder that you feel depressed and worried about a future you hadn't envisaged. It may be worth posting on the benefits board of this forum, to check with the wise people there that you are receiving all that you are entitled to. My thoughts are with you and I hope that you have the support of good friends and family to see you through this horrible time. Best of luck with your job search.

unhappytoday

thanks for your reply i have spoken to citizens advice and the turntous charity regarding benefits and have been told what i can revive and i wont even cover my rent of £650 per month i no its normally the husband that supports his wife but on this occasion my wife wanted the career times have not all ways been good with money mainly when the kids were younger we even sold our first house and went into private rented accommodation to fund her in universitie i think she should put her hand in her pocket and pay for some bills but has she got to ?
regards paul

marisco_2

There is such a thing as spousal maintenance. Maintenance for a spouse depends on the estimated needs of the recipient, own income and ability to earn income. There are no standard formulas for calculating it, this is something that would have to be negotiated via solicitors. I realise that in itself is an expense you would like to avoid, but in your situation it may be necessary. Are your children still young and living with one of you or grown up and living independently?

BitterAndTwisted

You're in rented accommodation so presumably both of your names are on the rental-agreement. If so, both are equally liable for the whole of the rent. Unfortunately the person who is easiest to chase is the one most easily found. i.e. you.

In your position I would first inform your landlord of your circumstances and secondly try to reach an agreement about a surrender of the tenancy so you can find something to rent which you could afford.

Your local authority could give you some help with your rent but it would only be at the lower, local level of a one-bedroomed property.

I'd say that now is the time for your high-earning wife to put her hand in her pocket and either pay half of the rent or support you in some way until you are back on your feet.

That's the easy part. Actually persuading her that this would be the decent and Christian thing to do, is the very hard part.

What a cow!

sulkisu

Sorry to hear that your marriage has ended. I will avoid the name calling as to be fair, I don't believe that anyone should stay with someone if they are unhappy - male or female.

When I read your post initially, I thought that you had been out of work for 18 years while your wife focused on her career, which would definitely have put a different spin on things. I have since re-read it and realise that it is 18 months. Being out of work for such a short time, should make it easier for you to return to employment. I also see that you supported your family while your wife studied, which suggests that you have the ability to earn a decent living, certainly enough to support yourself now. Is it possible to return to your old career? How old are your children and will they be living with their mother or with you? If childcare is not an issue, it should make finding employment easier - less restrictions on shift patterns etc.