Children and transition to secondary school - your advice/experience.

*mudangel*

Daughter starts secondary school in September. She can’t wait!

I am slightly apprehensive though. It’s a great school, I’m not worried about that. It’s all the other stuff – she’ll be getting the bus, getting lots more homework, being right at the bottom of the ‘food chain’ again etc. Think I'm going to be quite a worrier and don't want for her to pick up on that.

So, I guess I’m looking for reassurance and/or advice. How did your children cope with the step up? Any hints and tips on how to make the process go as smoothly as possible would be gratefully received!

gingin_2

My son loves it. He says quite strongly that High School is 10x better than primary - better clubs, better food, more interesting lessons, new friends, teachers treat you differently. I think he basically feels a little more grown up and it's nice for his sister to be able to see his enthusiasm for it as she will be off there in a couple of years, too.

I don't think there are many magic tricks to making it go more smoothly, just be calm about it, treat it as an exciting new adventure in their lives and encourage them to mix and join in plenty of clubs and make the most of it.

Good luck :-)

marisco_2

I work in a primary school and our year 6 pupils are facing the same huge change in their lives just as your daughter is. They recently went along to the High schools they will be attending come September for a taster morning. For the vast majority of them this went really well and there is now a real sense of excitement amongst them. Children adapt far easier to change than we give them credit for. My advice is to sit back and let your daughter take these steps without worrying about her. You may well end up very pleasantly surprised at how easy she finds the transition. I get the impression that you two are very close, and that she will know that if she does have any concerns at all, she can talk them through with you.

Our pupils are well aware that they will be the youngest again, but by the same token they are viewing it as moving forward and being part of a more grown up environment. There will be a lot of support procedures in place to help them adapt to their new school. Homework is phased in gradually too. With regards to the journey to and from school, many children plan on doing practice runs during the summer holidays, so as they are well use to it by the time September comes around. Many parents feel just as you do but very quickly find that their fears are alleviated when their confident and resilient children embrace this change and flourish.

FBaby

My DD started at a new secondary school having just moved to our new town. She didn't know a soul at the school where almost all the students came from two main primary school so all very much knew each other. It was also the first time she was walking on her own to and back from school.

I too was worried, but looking back (18 months later) I can see that the school did actually take the first year quite slowly to allow students to adjust to the change of pace. They receive a lot of support from their tutor and I have found that her school were more focused on insuring the good transition to secondary school than concentrating on their academic results. From my perspective, it wasn't such a good thing because my DD did adjust very quickly in the end, but was bored most of the year as the work didn't challenge her at all. She is enjoying it a lot more in Y8.

Definitely don't show your anxieties just reassure your DD that you will always be there to listen to her about anything she wants to discuss.

SandC

If your daughter is excited then that's a good thing - try to relax and keep your worries in your head and chances are it'll be fine.

As marisco says, children adapt to things really well, I often think that people worry more than necessary about things that haven't even happened (maybe that's adulthood full stop lol).

cutestkids

My son is going to secondary this year as well and he can't wait, where we are there is only one high school in our town and all the pupils who are moving up from all the primary schools in the area had a full week induction at the secondary school in June, they worked to the timetable that they will use and were put into the form classes and the house classes that they will be in when they start in August (we are in Scotland).

I think that the kids adapt quickly on the whole and the first year they are helped a lot with the transition.

I think we as parents worry about stuff much more than the kids do.

balletshoes

My DD is just coming to the end of year 7.

I was a bit apprehensive before going to her secondary school open evenings, but after those (in June so you should have already done them?) and her transition days (late June/early July) I wasn't worried, as DD was really looking forward to going to the new school.

She told me she was a little nervous on her first day in the morning, but that didn't last. After all, she was going to the local school, where most of her friends were also going.

DD got a tonne of homework from September onwards, until the end of Christmas term I'd say. The school did a lot of ability testing in this timeframe, so lots of tests, lots of homework. At the start of the year she used her school planner religiously to jot down homework assigments etc, so it was easy to check that and make sure she was on track with her homework etc. Now though, I just ask her every couple of school days if she has homework, as a gentle reminder for her to do it .

She's thriving at secondary school - lots of new friends (lost a couple on the way though, but thats life I guess). She has matured a lot, thats a big difference I have noticed. I think thats what secondary school does to you - you are mixing with much older kids.

You might want to talk to your DD about gossip - and not getting involved in it. I did discuss this with mine before she started secondary school - the fact that as its a much bigger school, many more pupils, and you don't know them all, you don't know who is friends with who etc. So don't gossip, and don't repeat gossip.
My DD fell foul of it once this year, she thought she was just passing on what she'd heard to her best friend, but someone overheard her, and it got back to the person she was talking about (in a chinese-whisper sort of way, so distorted too). As soon as she knew what had happened, she went to the sujbect of the conversation and apologised, so she did nip it in the bud, but she was really upset about it. It could have got a lot worse, but she's learned her lesson now. Girls can be horrible :cool:.

pollypenny

She'll love it!

I enjoyed being a year 7 group tutor, then taking my class through.

The best help you can give her will be to help her organise her bag for the next day. A copy of her timetable on a kitchen cupboard will help.

Don't let her carry every book for the week . It is quite a load, compared to primary school.

If it is a large school, reassure her that she will soon find her way around. Induction week will help smooth away any problems.

*mudangel*

Phew! What lovely, helpful replies. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was apprehensive.

She's an only child, so unfortunately I think I end up being a bit over-protective and this is probably quite stifling for her. I am sure it'll be great for her to *have* to take more responsibility for herself.

She has transition days next week and can't wait! Fortunately, she's got friends in a few of the local schools (because of running club, attending a different school before we moved etc.), so I'm hoping she'll find herself surrounded by friends. We met her tutor and she seems a genuinely warm-hearted and caring teacher.

Of all things, it's DD's organisational skills which concern me the most. She's a bright girl, but such a scatterbrain! I do fear that she'll miss the bus, forget her homework, get lost etc. etc. Hopefully, she'll get herself organised sharpish.

balletshoes, YES! You are so right about all the gossiping. There's been so much of it for the last few years even at primary school. I think that's a great tip about talking to her about the perils of gossiping - we'll definitely have a chat about that.

neverdespairgirl

I remember going from primary to secondary school very well - I was 10 and 4 months, and my mother was (she told me later) terrified I'd be totally out of my depth and miserable.

She didn't tell me any of that at the time, and I loved it - felt all grown up having different teachers, and all the really "adult" 16 and 17 year old girls were impressive.

I could be pretty scatterbrained, too - she might get told off a few times, and then learn to be a bit more organised to avoid the hassle.

*Louise*

Sounds like you're more worried than she is


My DS1 has been at High School for two years now and I did worry at first. Mainly about bullying, but also because he is a bit scatterbrained as well (and so laid back he needs a kick up the behind now and then lol).

The main things I did was attend all the introduction evenings with him to make sure I knew what was going on, encouraged him to organise his stuff and sent him off on the first day with a fully charged mobile.

The worst thing that happened was he ended up on the wrong bus home on the first day and ended up in the wrong town....he was glad of that phone! Lesson learned there

As for the bullying - not a sign of any. He keeps with his group of friends away from any troublemakers and as balletshoes mentioned, he doesn't get involved with any gossip.

Kids are amazingly resilient, and are much more open to change than us grownups