Penpal for a teenager with a learning disability?

lovesabargain123

Hello,
I have a youngest child with learning/health problems but he's not really into writing but I also have a 15 year old boy that I think would be more than happy to write/receive letters from your boy.

I don't want to come over as a bit of an Internet strange one but he has always wanted to work with children with special needs, from when we went on holiday when he was 7years old and met a little boy with DS that's all he's ever talked about. He spent the whole 2 weeks with this little boy playing with him and the child's mum said to us they had never had such a fantastic holiday as no one ever wanted to play with her son.

He's a pretty normal 15 year old, as in he likes his ps3' loves playing football and is very outdoorsy. He's currently doing his duke of edinburough award and is looking forward to being a senior prefect next year working with the new starters at the high school. He also does 6-8 hours voluntary work at the old people's home near us each week , which specialises in altzimers. We lost my grandad (his great grandad) a few months back, he lived there and my son has decided to carry on going and spending time with the old folk.. He's not really into partying or drinking (yet!!!) also being a big brother of my youngest he has lots of patients and empathy .

Anyway, it's just a thought and I'd be more than happy to tell you a little more about us and give you my Facebook so you can check us out

Xxx

mummyroysof3

My son would love to have a pen pal but he is 8 so not sure if that would work or not.

kingfisherblue

Mummyroysof3, I think you are right, that an eight year old is probably too young for my son. I think he needs someone a bit more mature. I do think that your son may benefit from having a penpal himself though, as i feel it is a great opportunity for children to communicate with others. And let's face it, getting an email isn't nearly as special as a letter, no matter what your age!

If your son is a Cub Scout, he might be able to find a penpal through Scouting. Otherwise, I would google 'penpals for children' or something similar. Good luck x

Lovesabargain, could you ask your son if he would be interested please? He sounds like a lovely lad and you must be very proud of him doing voluntary work at such a young age.

A little about my son, but if you want to know more, please ask. He uses an Ipad for communication, as he has physical problems with speech - but he really enjoys a parking game on it as well! He doesn't have an XBox or PSP as he isn't really into computer games - he'd rather sit and read a book! He loves animals, but is a bit nervous around live animals. I think they are safer in a book, as they can't actually approach him, if you know what I mean. He did feed a baby goat at Stockley Farm last week though.

He has a long list of medical problems, most of which he can't name. He's very proud of being Down's and will often tell people that "I Down's today" (not sure what he is on other days ) - sometimes we tease him goodnaturedly and tell him that he isn't Down's, he's 'ups' or 'inside out' instead - which he thinks is funny. He likes jokes but can only understand those which are quite immature.

He loves school and is a friendly young man most of the time. He attends Deaf Club and the family are members of a local group for children with disabilities and their siblings, where we access social events with other families. He enjoys our monthly cinema trip, which is just for families with children with disabilities (so if the kids wander around, or have a meltdown, etc, none of us mind. Also, it isn't as dark or as loud as mainstream showings). My son also loves going to the cinema without the group, though, and can sit for the full film without any problems. He doesn't have behavioural difficulties, but does occasionally have inappropriate behaviour - such as the other day, when I dropped some paperwork off at another guider's house. Her daughter was there, and my son said "ooh, gorgeous lovely" to her (she is a pretty girl!).

He likes disability cycling, reading, writing, gardening at school (but not at home), art, crafts, and food! He does have feeding difficulties, but it doesn't stop him enjoying going to cafes!

Let me know what your son thinks, and if it isn't something he wants to do, I won't be offended. I realise that it is a rather odd commitment to take on!

KFB x

heartbreak_star

Your son sounds like a lovely kid, KFB. I hope you manage to find him a pen-pal

HBS x

kingfisherblue

Thanks HBS, he is lovely most of the time, but believe me, he can have his moments!

top_drawer_2

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Top_drawer, maybe you should write to my son and I should write to your sister as there doesn't seem to be an organisation to help us. You might want to ask at a volunteer centre in your county to see if there is anyone suitable for your sister. A befriender or advocate might help.

Hello

Sorry I didn't get back to you over the weekend. I've spoken to my sister (and despite my Mothers unwillingness to be involved), she is keen. I've explained it as a "pen-friend circle" with her writing to him and his Mum and him writing back to her and me but that I will explain the letters from your son to her (she prefers the idea of writing to him, than you I'm afraid).

I am currently a Support Worker with people who are D/deaf and have additional needs so hopefully I will be able to use some of these skills to communicate with your son.

My sister is a typical girl to be honest, she is 20 but quite immature in many ways. She enjoys music, TV (US, popular girl programmes such as Victorious), dancing, messing about with her carer in the park, going out for lunch, swimming, bowling, shiny girlie things, playing on her laptop watching DVD's and staying in her PJ's for the better part of the day. She is a very social type of person - outwardly confident in many ways. She enjoyed gardening when she was at school too but won't do it at home / elsewhere. She is aware she has a disability but I she has never shown any awareness of Down's syndrome.

I will PM you further details.

I really hope this could help her to work on the wider problems she is currently having.

TD

ERICS_MUM

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Thanks HBS, he is lovely most of the time, but believe me, he can have his moments!

blimey, reading your description I'm surprised he can find time to send and receive letters, what a busy young man he is, obviously gets a lot of enjoyment from life. Good luck to you and him in finding a penpal.

Linda xx

kingfisherblue

ERICS_MUM wrote: »

blimey, reading your description I'm surprised he can find time to send and receive letters, what a busy young man he is, obviously gets a lot of enjoyment from life. Good luck to you and him in finding a penpal.

Linda xx

He doesn't do all of the things all of the time .

TD, thanks for your PM. My son is delighted that he will have a penpal and will start his letter tonight. He can't wait to tell his friends at Deaf Club - only half a dozen teens go, and only two have hearing difficulties (including him), but he still wants to share his news. I'll PM you later, but a letter should be on its way to your sister in the next couple of days. Thank you so much for arranging this.

Thanks to everyone on the thread who has shown an interest and who has tried to help. You have all been great, as always.

kingfisherblue

Another poster has also sent me a PM, so my son will now have two penpals courtesy of MSE . He's very excited!

I haven't named the poster in case they prefer me not to, but you know who you are, and I thank you for the PM.

I think that this has shown a couple of things. Firstly, there is a desire for people with learning difficulties to have penpals, but there is little or nothing available to them. Secondly, the MSE forum has risen to the quest in finding a penapl for my son - and not just one, but two :j.

Writing letters begins tomorrow, with an excited 15 year old lad and a very happy KFB

Thanks to everyone x

sulkisu

Just a thought, but have you considered setting up something like this yourself (i.e. penpals for young people with learning disabilities)? It does sound as if you have identified a gap and a need.