Jealously

needed_an_expert

I have always been the jealous type. I am currently consumed by an irrational jealously towards a female I do not really know. I fell for this guy who does not want me but she has left her husband for him. I know it is totally stupid but I do not know what do to to get over this jealously. To add to it this guy was and is an infatuation with whom I would probably not have a long term relationship with. He has been married twice as has this woman but that is by and by.

I just do not know how to get this stupid jealously out of my head. It has been a few months now and I am cross with myself!

lizziebabe

I am not the jealous type, so can't help you there I'm afraid.

However there is no L in Jealousy, in the context that you are using the word. Jealousy is a noun, Jealously is the adverb.

Hope you get over it soon

balletshoes

Jealousy is a completely negative emotion, leaving you seething and the object of your jealousy oblivious to it and totally unaffected by it. your jealousy is a waste of your time and your feelings.

are you a youngster? only asking as often as we get older we realise the world is not black and white, there are lots of shades inbetween, and it kind of calms us down a bit.

zzzLazyDaisy

OP is this the guy who you were posting about back in March/April?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4524087

If so, then it seems he has a 'thing' for married women. He exchanged a few flirty/sexy texts with you - a married woman - it wasn't even a proper relationship was it? Now another married woman has left her husband for him. In the meantime, you are presumably still with your husband?

It has been three months since you last posted. At that point you had cut all contact, yet here you are three months later, still infatuated, still living in some sort of fantasy world, still marginalising your husband and not being fully present in your marriage.

The unhappiness you are experiencing really has nothing to do with your obsession this man or his new lover, it is to do with your discontent and lack of fulfillment in your own real life. That s where you need to focus your energy, and leave this man to get on with his life.

Without meaning to sound cruel (though I accept it does) you are beginning to sound like you have distinctly stalker-ish tendencies.

Pollycat

I remember your previous post.

TBH, I think you sound pretty obsessional, in fact I'd not disagree with lazydaisy's last comment.

You don't mention what the current situation is with your husband but I think you really need to sort your life out as I don't think jealousy is your only problem.

System

Its not her fault that he wants to be with her and not you.:(

NAR

Judi wrote: »

Its not her fault that he wants to be with her and not you.:(

Does this mean you are over me now? :rotfl:

System

NAR wrote: »

Does this mean you are over me now? :rotfl:

I'll learn to live with the heartache I guess. :D:D

beckysbobbles1

You need to try and understand the underlying reasons for your jealousy.

Is it an issue you have with yourself? Do you often compare yourself to others and then feel bad if you don't 'match up'. If so this maybe low self-esteem.

Or is it your unhappy with your current relationship and you envy someone else who seems happy?

Either way the issue is not with this other women but it's with yourself and you need to address the issues before you can be happy.

patchwork_cat

Never feel bad about having a negative emotion , that spirals. Jealousy is a normal emotion and is quite prevalent, but not healthy!

I agree with the above the jealousy that you are feeling is about you and your feelings. Perhaps some counselling with a good counsellor to find the route cause of your jealous feelings.

onlyroz

How often are you forced to interact with this person? Are you able to plan your days so that your paths never cross?

You should view your behaviour like any other addiction - so go "cold turkey" on any interactions with him, and find some other activities to distract yourself. Maybe take up a new hobby? And seek some sort of counselling to get to the route of your behaviour.