Help with inheritence... sibling relationship not good

zzzLazyDaisy

Encourage your mother to make a will, clearly setting out her wishes in detail, and appointing an independent executor (ie neither you nor your sister). Then forget about it. The money is not yours and may never be yours - your mother may need residential care, she may decide to spend it all on a world cruise, she may even find a new lover and leave it all to him/her.

There is nothing you can do about what she does with her money in her lifetime and only a limited amount that you can do about who/what she leaves it to after her death.

Frankly I will be spending my son's inheritance in my lifetime, I shall give to him what I want when I want while I am still alive, and if things go according to plan I shall die a very happy pauper!

fireyfirenze

who is cath?!

burnoutbabe

bobby21 wrote: »

What rights does Jack have? Does he have the right to force sale? Does he have the right to be present when Sue is at the property so that valuables do not go missing? If Jack can show a paper trail of monies going from Jane to Sue's accounts for months/years does this hold any weight? What are the options here?


Any help / input on this situation would be very much appreciated, as we would like to be as prepared as possible.

Who would executors be? Assuming a 50/50 split on death then you should be able to document what is held on death and make sure nothing goes out of bank accounts after death (fairly easy to check). Things getting taken from the house? Well you could either say to your mum "I'd love XYZ at some time" and get it written in the will, or maybe say "lets go through your photo albums and see who people are and I can take copies of some".

But if its stuff like sister taking the tv after death, well a few photos taken of the house soon after death should show that stuff was taken, and that would be deducted from her share.

So it SHOULD work out "fair", but maybe some hassle to prove what was there on death.

Dimey

Cath must be the cat!

Now seriously. Jane needs to make a will with a solicitor and appoint executors unrelated to either sibling. The solicitor could be the executor.

Money/property aside, Jane must include a comprehensive list who gets what valuable item and who gets the remaining contents.

This will stop any squabbling in its tracks.

Jack and Sue can get on with their lives.

For the here and now, as has been said, Jane can spend her money however she wants. If Jack persists and thinks Jane is mentally incompetant then he needs to approach Jane, Sue, Jane's GP and a solicitor to try to declare Jane medically mentally unfit via lasting power of attorney. An independent attorney can then be appointed to look after Jane's financial and medical affairs in her best interest.

This will upset Jane and Sue. Think hard. Worse mess (unless Jane genuinely needs protection).

Jack should change his mind set. Neither he nor Sue are entitled to anything. Don't assume you are. Best to metaphorically walk away and get on with life. Don't give it another thought.

mountainofdebt

burnoutbabe wrote: »

Things getting taken from the house? Well you could either say to your mum "I'd love XYZ at some time" and get it written in the will,

This is exactly what my mum has done though I hasten to add neither my sister or I have fought what over what we think we should inherit - in fact we've joked with my mum that there are certain items that she needs to bequeath otherwise its to the house clearance they go!

burnoutbabe

well yes, I'm the same. She has also asked us both who would like certain items of jewlery, its not worth a lot but more sentimental, I wouldn't appreciate say her wedding ring on sentimental grounds but may like some cheaper silver items as thats more my taste.

Also, its nice to go through stuff with people and they can tell you the stories behind them. Same with photos and other mememtos, I'd have no clue who some people were so be a nice afternoon sometime to go through pictures with mum and she can tell me (and write on the back) who was who.