Divorce clause query

teresag

I live in the house (jointly mortgaged with ex) with the children and he lives elsewhere with his new wife. The mortgage payment is nearly as much as my wages. It's also written in the divorce papers that he pays me so much a month but it doesn't say whether that is for spousal maintenance (towards the mortgage) or child maintenance payments (my solicitor was rubbish!!) Either way I know if I don't pay the mortgage he'll take me to court as he did this when I fell behind with the joint loan payments - which in turn cost me more money because of court costs etc - but it was a case of feeding and clothing the kids or paying the loan so I missed a couple of payments.

Me and the children don't want to live in the property. It's in negative equity and other houses by us aren't selling anyway. I feel like I'm throwing nearly £1000 a month after nothing. I also have 2 credit cards, an overdraft and my share of the joint loan so we are really struggling.

I was advised that bankruptcy would be a way out and the CAB told me that if I can't go ahead with it (because of the clause in the divorce) then they'll stop it but he'll be notified!!

I'm really at my wits end now and desperately need some help.

silvercar

I'm glad you posted again, so often people drift away and the thread never has an ending.

It's also written in the divorce papers that he pays me so much a month but it doesn't say whether that is for spousal maintenance (towards the mortgage) or child maintenance payments (my solicitor was rubbish!!)

Doesn't say because it is all a bit grey, the mortgage payments provide a home for his children, so they can't all be counted as spousal. The difference isn't material.

The mortgage payments are as much as your mortgage, but that does leave you all the maintenance to live on. Is that enough? If it is enough then bankruptcy won't help you in the first instance as the mortgage will be excluded.

If you stopped paying the mortgage, he could possibly go back to court and get the maintenance payments reduced by an amount that would allow him to pay the mortgage himself.

Do you speak? Can't he see that you selling up would be a way out? Or does he want to wait til prices go up and he can have some equity on eventual sale?


If you didn't pay the mortgage and the property was repossessed, would he go to court to reduce maintenance? How much does he pay compared with what the CSA would assess?

I assume that he doesn't want his credit record tarnished by a repossession, so he needs to be persuaded to allow a sale.

I do wonder whether you will be better off or not if he managed to reduce maintenance but were living in a cheaper place?

All things to think about and no obligation to post figures on here if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

I also have 2 credit cards, an overdraft and my share of the joint loan so we are really struggling.

Bankrupty would get rid of these debts, would that enable you to live comfortably in the house?

alastairq

I do wonder whether you will be better off or not if he managed to reduce maintenance but were living in a cheaper place?

All things to think about and no obligation to post figures on here if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

Quote:
I also have 2 credit cards, an overdraft and my share of the joint loan so we are really struggling.
Bankruptcy would get rid of these debts, would that enable you to live comfortably in the house?

Some very sage advice there, I think?

Sounds to me like, you cannot afford the mortgage payments, your own debts, and the secured [joint] loan?

You state both you & the kids want to move house?

[EXOH is doubtless aware he is till responsible for meeting child maintenance payments. Does he have the kids overnight at any time?]

I suspect EXOH is probably aware that, if you cease the mortgage, and secured loan payments, both mortgagor and secured loan creditor will pursue him as well as you for the outstanding amounts?

If he hasn't considered the probability you would even consider bankruptcy, [don't tell him!!] he'll soon have much to worry about if you do petition BR.

For, once the house is re-possessed, [and you are BR] the mortgagor and secured loan company will both pursue your EXOH for the full amount of any shortfall. You, however, will be protected by your [potential, ATM?} BR....since both mortgage, and secured loan, pre-date the [potential] BR...and will have become unsecured, hence falling into that BR.

He would still be liable for financial support for the children, however!


I agree with Silvercar..if it were me, I would cease mortgage and secured loan payments, move out into rented accommodation that suits you and your kids, then petition BR.

Since it appears he is so keen to recover possible future equity, let him reap-the-whirlwind?

You need to get out of your present situation, by taking charge.

silvercar

I agree with Silvercar..if it were me, I would cease mortgage and secured loan payments, move out into rented accommodation that suits you and your kids, then petition BR.

Or tell him that if he doesn't allow you to sell up, he will face the consequences of you going bankrupt.

debt_doctor

alastairq wrote: »

I agree with Silvercar..if it were me, I would cease mortgage and secured loan payments, move out into rented accommodation that suits you and your kids, then petition BR.

You need to get out of your present situation, by taking charge.

I agree with that too.

DD

teresag

We're in negative equity of about £40,000. It's also in the divorce paperwork that I can't sell when we're in negative equity and if I sell when we're out of negative equity when the kids are still at school he gets a share of the profit but after the kids have left school (and he doesn't have to pay maintenance though not child support) any profit is mine.

The mortgage costs me £980 a month, I take home £1100 and he gives me £600. Whilst it may seem that I've got plenty of money by the time I've paid all the household expenses (bills, food, car expenses and bus fare for the kids for school and college) there's nothing left for treats etc. We don't live an extragent lifestyle at all and have cut back as much as we can already.

Me and my ex don't talk and he hasn't seen the kids for about 4 years as they don't want anything to do with him.

DUTR

teresag wrote: »

We're in negative equity of about £40,000. It's also in the divorce paperwork that I can't sell when we're in negative equity and if I sell when we're out of negative equity when the kids are still at school he gets a share of the profit but after the kids have left school (and he doesn't have to pay maintenance though not child support) any profit is mine.

The mortgage costs me £980 a month, I take home £1100 and he gives me £600. Whilst it may seem that I've got plenty of money by the time I've paid all the household expenses (bills, food, car expenses and bus fare for the kids for school and college) there's nothing left for treats etc. We don't live an extragent lifestyle at all and have cut back as much as we can already.

Me and my ex don't talk and he hasn't seen the kids for about 4 years as they don't want anything to do with him.

Why did you add that bit? Perhaps he doesn't want anything to do with them either The earlier part of your post though makes sense and fair, neither is taking the other for a ride.

Anondebtadvisor

I agree with the OP's - If i were in your position in would stop paying to mortgage and secured loan, save as much as you can for a deposit and any upfront rent and then move into rented.

If you stop paying from now on you could have 4 to 6 months before they start to repossess so a minimum of about £4000 to go towards bankruptcy fees, rent and a deposit.

You and your childrens happiness is paramount :-) :-) x

teresag

DUTR wrote: »

Why did you add that bit? Perhaps he doesn't want anything to do with them either The earlier part of your post though makes sense and fair, neither is taking the other for a ride.[/QUOTE



I added that bit as someone had asked earlier if he has the children overnight at all. They're not interested in a relationship at the moment but he is.

teresag

Thanks anondebtadvisor but the mortgage company will notify him if I stop paying and no doubt he'll take me to court again. Last time I went and explained to the judge that it was either feed the kids or pay the joint loan he wasn't interested. I had yo pay as well as court costs and I can't afford to do that again.