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% "Slicing" account

I'm looking for a bank account whose sole purpose would be to automatically divide up all incoming payments according to percentages that I can define, then send those payments out to different accounts.

I'm a freelancer & I have an irregular income. As such, all of the traditional methods of setting up regular payments are of no use to me at all. (Regular amounts of money going out at at regular time intervals - unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of either!)
Therefore I must work on a percentage basis.

Each payment that comes in, wether it's £50 or £5,000 needs to be divided up:

25% for tax account
10% for an emergency account (until it hits a limit of £X)
10% retirement savings account
etc…

I am aware that I can simply do this manually
(And I know that a good deal of you wonderful people will suggest doing it manually!)
but the advantages of having this system automated would be enormous.

Does anyone know of an account that is capable of doing this?

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