Funeral Car advice please

red_devil

If funeral cars have been paid for to take the family from the deceased's home to the crematorium is it considered bad manners to go in your own car?

Should family always travel in the funeral cars if they are provided?

BitterAndTwisted

It's generally the custom for immediate family to travel in the funeral car/s but that doesn't mean they have to.

Mojisola

It's worth considering the logistics. The hired car will take you to the crem but how do you get back?

red_devil

Mojisola wrote: »

It's worth considering the logistics. The hired car will take you to the crem but how do you get back?

they bring you back to where you want to go as well.

greatgimpo

You have to consider the rest of the family - emotions are running high, think of the impact it may have on other members whichever way you choose.

Maybe the directors are up for a deal: "we'll buy the package from you if you'll..." etc.

Mojisola

red_devil wrote: »

they bring you back to where you want to go as well.

The last couple of funerals we arranged, the funeral cars only took the family back to where the wake was being held. If we hadn't arranged for family members to take their cars, we'd have had to pay taxis to get home.

red_devil

sorry yes the wake and its fairly near to get home from there no car needed.

belfastgirl23

To be honest I think in times of grief people deserve to do whatever makes them most comfortable without being prejudged. My mum didnt go to her brothers interment (she did go to the church) because she couldn't bear to see him buried. My DH took her home so he wasn't there either. And if I heard a single word of criticism about this I'd be very very annoyed (and I don't anger easily). If you are more comfortable in your own car, then that's what you should do. And if anyone has a problem with this, stuff them.

On the other hand, when DHs aunt died, no one went in the funeral cars because there had been such rucks about who could and couldn't travel in them that everyone was too scared to get in three empty cars and everyone walking behind *rolleyes*

Kayalana99

I think its one of those things you should do, the one funeral I can remember everyone was thier before the family and the cars kind of brought them in so it was part of the cermony really and everyone followed the family in after with the coffin which was with the cars.

That said I do also agree with above poster.. "To be honest I think in times of grief people deserve to do whatever makes them most comfortable without being prejudged."

So I wouldn't worry to much about it if thats what you want to do.

Spendless

Usual immediate family goes in it. I think it depends on what the reasons are for someone not too.If it's something like a case of the funeral car is too high/low for relative to get into and travel in comfortably due to medical issues that's one thing, if it's due to Great Aunt Jean last spoke to Great Aunt Betty back in 1978 and she's told cousin Martha if she travels in the car with Betty,then nephew Fred will be having words, it's another!

paulineb_2

I didnt go in the funeral car to my uncles funeral. I got a lift with a neighbour, my mum and gran did. It would have been far too upsetting for me, he died suddenly in tragic circumstances, it was hard enough. My brother didnt go at all, he was only 11 at the time, again my mum felt it was better for him not to be there as he was upset enough as it was.

When my gran died my mum brother and I went in the funeral car, but my gran only wanted immediate family there and we were it.

I dont see why these traditions should cause any problems, as long as people get there and back, thats what matters, not what car they travel in.