Advice needed Re divorce and property sale

lizziebabe

Me again.

He cannot change the locks and refuse you entry if your are joint owners. If he won't let you in, go with the Police, he is breaking the law.

Your Solicitor sounds carp - get another one quick!

All the best - lb

Shortarmsdeeppockets_2

Firstly may I thank you sincerely for such a comprehensive reply. If I may I shall respond to your points in turn below;



- No deed of trust was made at the time of purchase. It is registered as joint tenants.

- I do not wish to remain in the old marital home. I’d prefer to have the house sold and I can buy a new house.
- There is no pension



What concerns me is that he is using the mediator as a tactic to delay. We have had 3 sessions and he is still yet to complete his form E, despite having had it twice. I just wonder if I should forget mediation and leave it up to the court to decide. He is very overbearing and says, in mediation, you have that take it or leave it and will not compromise. The mediator seems powerless to make him change his mind, and seems to be more a referee. BTW the divorce is for unreasonable behaviour (whether that makes a difference but his behaviour bears that out nicely!)

Thank you for the advice re child maintenance, I shall apply asap.

A couple of questions, what did the other poster mean by "he will pay most of the court costs"? Also do I need a solicitor in court or could I do it myself?

Thanks once again.

SADP

Thrugelmir

Mediation is hard work but a better option than solicitors exchanging letters. Stick with the mediation process and use your solicitor for points of law only.

zzzLazyDaisy

Okay, you need to understand what mediation is. It is a forum where the two people try, with assistance from the mediator, to come to an amicable and fair agreement, without the cost and expense of using lawyers. The mediator cannot 'make' anything happen, or 'make' him comply with due process. S/he can only facilitate and guide the negotiations. S/he also can't advise either party or take sides.

What this means is that mediation only works when both parties genuinely want to reach an agreement. It does not work where one party is using or manipulating the process to delay the proceedings or bully the other party into submission.

In any case, how can you possibly negotiate an agreed settlement when he is refusing to complete form E? You are working completely in the dark, you have no idea at all what you are supposed to be negotiating about.

Personally I would refuse to take mediation any further until he provides form E because until all assets have been declared there is no point.

I would also get a solicitor. Yes it will cost you, but by the sounds of it, not half as much as not getting a solicitor is going to cost you. Even if you only use the solicitor to sort out the legal stuff and advise you on the law, and then go back to mediation once he has completed the Form E, it would still be helpful. In any case, there is every possibility you may have to ask the court to order him to provide formE if he continues to refuse to do so.

Costs. You should assume that you will each have to pay your own costs. If he is obstructive and you have to get the court to order him to do things, the court may also order him to pay your costs of that bit. But generally you are responsible for your own costs (having said that, where a respondent is obstructive if the ancilliary relief proceedings have to go to court that will often be reflected in the amount petitioner's share of the joint assets, so it is swings and roundabouts.

Unfortunately, where one party is difficult, the lawyers do take a larger slice of the cake. There is no getting away from that. But better that than just roll over and let him walk all over you.

(this is my opinion and not legal advice - you need to see a solicitor for that)

[Deleted User]

I read through a very lengthy posting written by a man in an iffy divorce/seperation situation where he was being treated fairly badly. Other posters on the thread suggested he use http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/
Its a free site that offers advice on divorce, you can even phone them up and get good advice on anything to do with a divorce.., which will help you make choices as to what you want/are able to do.

Although the thread is written by a man, his situation has some similarities to yours and it might be worth reading it (its very long though, but lots of useful advice on there some of which will show your ex is definitely trying it on) https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4556575

I realise u've posted on this part of the forum because your main concern is the marital home, but if you look in the Marriage, Relationships and Families part of the forum u will find other threads about divorce that may be helpful. But as its probably all a bit overwhelming, I'd advise sticking to the first and/or second link for now.

Hope this helps. Your situation isn't as black as it looks. I hope you let us know how things are going.